Her mother was a traditional stay-at-home mom, and there was nothing wrong with that, but since she’d been a kid, she’d known it wasn’t for her. “I’m a cop. It’s what I’ve always wanted to be. And I’m a good one.”
A low, humorless chuckle filled the office. “Not according to your last review you’re not.”
“Because Stephens has it in for me.” Frustration welled and the need to fight was right there.
“Or because you refuse to get along with anyone.”
Because she refused to shut up and take insults and innuendoes? Because she was supposed to accept humiliation from her boss? “I get along quite nicely with most of the guys. You read my complaint. They back me up.”
“A few of them do, but most of them will keep their mouths shut because they know how powerful Stephens is,” Joel pointed out. “His uncle has the mayor’s ear. His father is a circuit court judge, and his mother holds a high position with brass. Big brass. She works right here at One Police Plaza. She’s a cop, too. You can’t claim misogyny here.”
Oh, but she’d met many women who hated other women. “Has she read the complaint?”
“I never let it get to her. If you think she’ll be surprised and horrified, you’re wrong. She knows her son.” Joel looked at her with nauseating sympathy. “She’ll protect him. They’ll all protect him. Sweetheart, you tried. You got further than most. That’s going to have to be good enough. It’s time to think about your future.”
“This isn’t about my future. This is about yours.” She wasn’t a complete fool. She was well aware that he would see any gossip about her as a reflection on him and his potential. But she’d thought those marriage vows they’d taken had meant something.
“Of course it is. I have to think of my career, but this is for our future. We should talk about that, too.” He looked down at his watch. “But it will have to wait. I have a lunch date with our FBI liaison. There’s something going on at StratCast and I want our boys in on it.”
So the FBI was working a high-profile case and Joel wanted his face on camera making an arrest he hadn’t really worked for. “I’m not going to go to Staten Island.”
“Then you can choose to quit the force altogether,” Joel said without any sympathy. “I told you not to file those complaints. I believe I advised you not to join ESU. I told you that you wouldn’t fit in. You ignored my advice and the advice of your father.”
Her father had asked her to consider staying at the Precinct she’d served for five years. He’d asked her if working with a high-profile unit like ESU was what she’d truly wanted to do. Of course, her dad would never have had that conversation with her brother. Brian was a detective in Manhattan. He was the perfect cop who never once caused trouble. He was the shining example, and she was still trying to keep up, trying to make her parents see her as something more than the girl who hadn’t wanted to wear flouncy dresses and play the part of pretty daughter.
Yet she’d married the man her mother had set her up with.
Hadn’t that been a mistake. “I quit.”
Joel stopped and turned her way. He took a deep breath and nodded. “I think that’s the first mature decision you’ve made. We can talk about this at home tonight. There are many things you can do that don’t involve NYPD. It’s time to start a family. It’s time for you to come home.”
He didn’t understand her at all, but he was right about one thing. She wouldn’t go anywhere with the NYPD, and she wasn’t over what had happened to her partner. It was time to go somewhere different. Maybe Chicago or LA. Boston was close enough that she could see her family.
Or maybe somewhere farther. A place where no one cared that she came from a long-celebrated line of NYPD cops.
Where no one cared that she’d been the one who disappointed them all.
She placed her shield and gun on his desk. “You can give these to Stephens since you’re such good friends.”
Cool gray eyes rolled. He truly was a gorgeous man, but now she could see the coldness behind those good looks. He was more mannequin than man. “You know I don’t like Stephens. I’m simply smart enough to pick my fights carefully. But I do think it’s a good idea you don’t see him again. You lose your temper so easily.”
She hadn’t lost her temper nearly enough. “I’m also quitting you, Joel. I’ll be out of the apartment before you get home.”
She wouldn’t take much. They’d been married for four years and she couldn’t think of a thing they’d bought together that she wanted to keep. Any memento of him would be a reminder of how she’d lost herself. How she’d settled because her mom had convinced her life couldn’t be complete without a marriage and kids.