Yes, she’d heard that from him for weeks. She was supposed to keep her head down and her mouth shut. Her superiors would appreciate her opinions far more if she rarely ever had them. “I’m not going to move ahead at all since Stephens doesn’t like any woman who won’t sleep with him. I would think as my husband that you would be offended.”
Joel moved in front of her, the first sign that he had any emotions at all concerning this situation. “Has he touched you? Stated plainly that he’ll support a promotion if you go to bed with him?”
“It’s more insidious than that.”
His lips turned down in that way they did when she annoyed him. Lately she’d seen that expression on his face a lot. “So your answer is no and you’re causing all this trouble because you didn’t get what you wanted. You couldn’t take a joke.”
She was so sick of this argument. “I’m not some thin-skinned, pearl-clutching lady who can’t hear a cuss word without fainting.”
Joel loomed over her, but he didn’t touch her. “I’ve talked to some of the officers you work with. They describe you as difficult.”
“Because I want them to do their jobs and respect everyone? That makes me difficult?”
“Other words they used to describe you were ‘bossy’ and ‘arrogant.’”
She felt her fists clench. “If I was a man, I would be considered take-charge and confident.”
He shrugged as though that argument meant nothing at all to him. “But you’re not. Look, Rox, I know it’s been hard on you. I know you’ve struggled since what happened last year.”
She didn’t want to think about what had happened that summer night. “I did my time with the shrink. I’m fine.”
“No, you’ve changed. Everyone can see it. Losing your partner unsettled you in ways that are only starting to show up now.”
She might have nightmares. She might not be as outgoing as she’d been before. But she hadn’t suddenly started hating sexual harassment because Ben died. “Or I got a sergeant who’s a massive ass. I don’t understand why this is about me. Stephens is running that team poorly. He’s the problem.”
Joel took a step back. He was a handsome man. He took care of himself, from his grooming routine to the discipline he showed at the gym. That detailed care of himself had tricked her into thinking he would pay the same attention to their marriage. “And I’ve found a solution. You’re having trouble with Stephens, so I’ve used some influence and arranged to transfer you.”
She felt her eyes widen. “Transfer me?”
“Yes. I’ve talked to some people who owe me favors and I’m moving you into a position with Staten Island.”
It felt like he’d punched her in the gut. “You’re moving me out of ESU?”
Emergency Services Unit had been her dream job. She’d worked her ass off to get in, and it had turned into a nightmare because of her sergeant. She was one of the few women who’d made it to the NYPD’s version of SWAT.
“I think you could use a break.” He was quiet for a moment, the silence between them lengthening. “I think you’re going to take this transfer with grace or we’re going to be the ones who need a break.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Roxie asked, though she knew the answer. Hadn’t she been waiting for this for a year now? After everything that had happened in the last year, hadn’t she known Joel would leave her behind? At least careerwise. This ultimatum had been coming for a long time.
“It means it’s time for us to decide if we’re going to move forward. I want a family.”
“We agreed to wait until my career was solid.” She’d bargained with him.
He shook his head. “Your career is never going to be solid. You complain too much. You don’t fit in, and that’s a real surprise given who your father is. I expected you would play the game far better than you do.”
“It’s not a game at all.” That’s what he’d never understood. Joel had moved up the ranks quickly because he didn’t mind playing politics. In the beginning, she’d thought she could learn a lot from him. Now she saw his politics for what they truly were—selfishness. He didn’t think about doing the best job he could for the people around him. They were supposed to live up to the motto Protect and Serve. There was no real “serve” when it came to the people. Joel only served himself.
He nodded as though he’d known that would be her answer. “Everything is a game. I’m beginning to think I miscalculated my play. You’ve become more of a liability than an asset. I want you to take some time on this new assignment and decide if this is really the career for you. You might do better to emulate your mother.”