“Actually, I need to get to the library to study. Thanks for asking, though!” Julia said brightly, doing her perky routine that I remember so well. She used to use it on guys she didn’t want to go out with. Now I was one of them.
“Can I drive you to the library, then?”
“I thought you said you wanted to walk off all those calories?”
“Uh. Yeah. But I can go to the gym later, too. I’d really like to talk with you.”
Lucy chimed in then, god bless her. “Oh come on, Julia. Go for a walk with Nick! He’s your brother and you haven’t seen him for ages!”
“Yes, that’s true, Mom, I haven’t. Why don’t you ask Nick the reason for that?” Julia said this to her mom, but looked right at me while she did. The bottom dropped out of my stomach. In that moment I almost gave up the whole thing. Why had I come back in town, made all my plans? This was hopeless. She was never going to forgive me—I had no chance at all.
Then Lucy said, “Julia, may I speak to you in the kitchen, please?” with this absolutely take-no-bullshit tone in her voice. Julia heaved a big sigh and went with her.
I don’t know what Lucy said to her in there, but Julia came out in a different mood. She walked right up to me and quietly said, “Okay. Let’s go for that walk.”
I got up and we walked out into the May twilight of my old neighborhood. We walked a couple of blocks in what I thought was companionable silence until she said, “Well?” with an impatient tone in her voice. “Here I am with my ears open. What is it you’re so desperate to say?”
I had planned this conversation forever, but I couldn’t start. In my plans she was already soft and loving and the words came easily. But now…. What I really wanted to know was how much she remembered of the day of the accident. The doctors told me, while she was still unconscious afterwards, that she might not remember anything about the accident or even that whole day. But how do you say, Hey, do you remember the kiss that changed my life? Hey, you said you loved me, does that ring any bells?
I didn’t know how to find out what she remembered without hurting her more than I already had. So I chickened out.
“I just want to say that I’m sorry, Julia.”
“You said that the other day, and I said there was nothing to apologize for.”
“I know you said that, but…. Aren’t you mad that you were so injured and I just got cuts and bruises? It’s so unfair. You were disabled and I wasn’t.”
She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “The whole rest of the world isn’t disabled. Why get mad at you, out of all of them?”
“Sure, I get that, but you’re acting mad. You don’t want to see me, spend time with me. We used to be pretty close.”
“I’m not acting mad. I’m busy.”
“Julia, come on. This is me. It’s not just that you’re busy.”
“Okay, fine. What do you want? To get together for coffee once a week? Okay, you can have Tuesday morning or Thursday. Seven to eight AM. Which do you want?”
“I don’t want to be slotted into your schedule! I want us to be close again!” I blurted out
She was quiet for a long time. I stole a glance at her, and she had her lips tucked into her mouth, that little mole pulled tight.
“It’s been a long time since we were close,” she finally said. “I just can’t…. How long are you even going to be in town?”
“Always. I’m not going back.”
“Seriously? You’re staying in Greenwood when you could be in California? That’s where your business is. You can’t just move here.”
“I am the business. I can move wherever I want.”
“Oh yeah, the billionaire thing. I forgot. You make the rules.” She moved her mouth into a twisted smile.
“Not all of them, apparently. You won’t do what I want.” I tried to turn that into a joke, but she didn’t smile.
“I don’t work for you. Even if I did agree to go along with your publicity for the hospital.” She was quiet again, then said, “So, why did you decide to do that, give all that money to Greenwood Hospital? I’m sure there are plenty of people and places that need money more, though of course the hospital here is always over budget.”
“For you.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“They saved your life, Julia. I’d cover the place in gold and diamonds if I could.” She looked at me for a few seconds. I would have given the same amount I gave to the hospital to have known what she was thinking.
“They saved my life almost three years ago. Why now? Didn’t you come back because I can walk again now?”
“I didn’t know you could. When I got in touch with the hospital, I thought you were in a wheelchair.” She whipped her head around and looked at me with her mouth open. I went on, “In fact, nobody told me about…your condition…the entire time. I didn’t bring it up, and I guess they assumed I knew. I had no idea until you walked into that conference room the day before yesterday.” She still didn’t say anything, just kept looking into my face like she was trying to figure something out. I waited a minute for her to start talking, and when she didn’t, I said, “So, how did it happen that you can walk now? Were the doctors just wrong, or what?”