When I came out of the shower, it was to find my phone ringing. I went to pick it up but ignored the call when I saw it was Ben. I hadn't talked to him directly; I was scared to. It was hard enough listening to the voicemails, but I knew if I picked up his call, he could talk me into going back or letting him know where I was, and I wasn’t ready yet.
A text came in, and I hesitated before I noticed it wasn’t either Ben or Dad. My mood shifted, and I went around the room getting dressed. Ten minutes later, I was outside.
Mornings in LA were always hot and sunny, while it was mostly cold in New York. I had to admit that I’d missed the heat, but it was about all I missed about LA. The hotel I was staying at wasn’t too far from where I used to live. There were a lot of familiar places I passed through before I arrived at the café.
She was waiting for me when I walked inside at our usual table. Casey, one of my old friends from before the divorce happened sat at the café, dressed in her normal casual, but elegant attire with a cream-colored blouse and blue silk shorts that nearly matched her eyes. Her red hair was tied up in a ponytail, and as usual, she looked beautiful. If there had been someone I expected to be on my side, it had been her, because she was my friend before she was Stuart’s, but he’d somehow won her over like everybody else.
I walked slowly over, and she looked up as I stopped in front of the table.
“Can I sit down?” I asked, voice small. I smoothed down the black and blue floral dress I had on with nervous hands.
She hesitated but nodded. Casey didn’t look the way she did when I last saw her. Back then, she had been disappointed, and her expression now was hesitant. I let it give me hope as I sat down. A waiter stopped by, and we ordered. We stayed silent, until our drinks were brought over.
“So,” she said after taking a sip of her coffee. “How’ve you been? You went to New York, right?”
I nodded, looking down at my cup. I wrapped my hands around it. It almost burned my fingers, but I didn’t care, and lifted it to taste.
“Yeah, I went back,” I murmured. “And honestly, I haven’t been all that great.”
She bit her lip, going silent.
I sighed. “Casey, I know it’s been a while, and this is coming out of nowhere, but can we be friends again? I need one of those right now.”
My eyes stung with tears, and I ducked my head down as I breathed slowly, blinking back the tears. When I looked up again, she looked worried.
“I’ve been meaning to contact you. I’m sorry about the way I behaved when everything went down with Stuart. I wasn’t there for you when you were the best friend I had and you needed me most. You gave me so much, and you were with me through my grandmother’s funeral five years ago. I shouldn’t have done what I did.”
I laughed, and the sound came out shaky. “Please don’t apologize. If we can put it all behind us, that would make me happier. I’ll forgive you, anyway, if you stick around from now on. It’s been so long; I think I forgot how to make friends.”
She reached across the table, and I reached my hand back. We shared a quick smile before separating.
“So, what’s been going on with you? What’s the trouble?” She asked me, her face now the familiar one I’d known for so long.
“Oh, Casey, you have no idea. I was lonely, and then I met the perfect guy, but he also couldn’t be more wrong for me.” I laughed again. “I’m technically supposed to be working, but I haven’t been at work for nearly five weeks now, and it’s already spring break. Also, my dad is getting married in a few days, and I feel awful.”
I lost my fight against the tears, and a few escaped. I pulled some tissues from my bag, sniffling as I wiped them away and tried to stop more from coming out. I was terrible at crying. The moment I let my emotions out and the tears flow, I wouldn’t stop crying for hours. It was a few minutes before I felt I could speak without breaking down again.
“What exactly happened?” Casey asked, concern a thick note in her voice.
I sighed. “Everything’s just been so overwhelming, I ran back here to try and regroup, but it’s not getting any better. I think I’m getting even more emotional. It’s almost been five weeks! I still can't stand the thought of going back. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”