Avoiding him wasn’t all that easy. Especially on the days, I had a class with him. I arrived early for class and left as soon as I was done with the lecture, then went and hid in the faculty lounge. I was too afraid to even spend time in my office, in case he went looking for me there. I was lost, and I didn’t know what to say to him. How do you tell your lover that you’re about to be step-siblings? It made my eyes roll and made me shiver just to think about it.
Somehow, I managed to avoid him completely. I managed to avoid him so well, I had to wonder where all the good luck suddenly came from. I thought I’d suddenly become a master at avoidance up until the point where I arrived at my apartment and walked inside. It didn’t take long to figure out there was already someone inside. There were shoes left by the door, men’s shoes. Ben’s shoes. I hurried inside, and found Ben in my bedroom, sitting at my desk.
For a moment, I could only stare. It was late evening, but the sun hadn't gone down yet. The window was behind him with the curtain open, and the fading sunlight hit his dark blond hair and made it glow just as it slanted over his beautiful hazel eyes. He had on a serious expression as he read something on my computer monitor.
“What are you doing here?” I blurted out, surprised.
His eyes rose to mine, before going back to my laptop, that he had open.
“It’s been hard getting through to you at school, and you haven’t returned my texts or calls since the weekend. I was worried.”
“But how did you get into my apartment?”
His eyes rose again, and he leaned back in the chair, staring at me with arched eyebrows.
“You don’t need to worry about that.”
“Except I do,” I retorted with heat in my words. “I don’t remember giving you a key to this place, so how did you get in?”
“Did you not want to see me?” He countered.
I pursed my lips but said nothing. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him. Seeing him in my house made me realize that I’d missed him. I was also surprised it took him this long to come to my place. I didn’t think if he showed up on his own, that I really would have left him standing outside my doorstep.
“Besides, isn’t this better?” He continued. “If I came and waited for you outside, people would see me. That worries you, doesn’t it?”
His voice sounded just a tad resentful, but he was right. It would have been worse if he was waiting outside my apartment. I didn’t know any of my neighbors personally, but I didn't want them to talk, and what if they had ties to the school that I didn’t know about? Having one person know and blackmail me over our little secret was more than enough.
“What are you doing?” I asked, feeling resigned. “Don’t even think about staying, Ben. You need to leave, now.”
I walked forward. I didn’t know what I was going to do. Ben was bigger and heavier than me, so it wasn’t like I could drag him out, but I wasn’t quite ready to face him yet. I couldn’t just tell him that we couldn’t keep seeing each other, I could feel my throat start to ache at just the thought of telling him, so I kept my mouth shut on the matter. Seeing him wouldn’t make things any easier for me, though.
Then, I noticed what he was looking at.
“Ben! What the hell!”
My computer had a password, and while it was something completely simple, so I wouldn’t forget, I didn’t know how Ben managed to unlock it. I didn’t give him the password, and it was impossible that he would know me so well after only a few weeks together, when we spent most of our time rolling in between, or on top of, the sheets.
Was it a lucky guess?
Anyway, the problem was that I noticed he’d opened a document on my computer. He was reading chapters from my book.
He shrugged his shoulders, unconcerned. “I got bored waiting for you; then I remembered you saying you’d written a book and it was in your computer. I wanted to take a look, and I guessed your password.”
“Even if you guessed it, it’s still a breach of privacy! You didn’t ask before deciding to read it!”
I pressed the laptop closed, and his eyes widened. His relaxed body suddenly stiffened, and only then did he seem to realize that he might have done something wrong.
“I’m sorry for just coming in and making myself at home, but you weren’t replying to me, and I didn’t know what went wrong. Did I do something to annoy you?”