MAYBE SOMEDAY I’LL ACTUALLY WRITE THAT BOOK.
"I will not read the last page of novels first,” I said, and then punched myself in the face.
"I promise, I'll never again read the last page of novels first," I said, then smacked myself on the head with a book.
"I really, really, really regret reading the last page of this novel first!" I said, then let my sibling, cousin, or best friend (take your pick) give me a wedgie.
(This page is, of course, here for those of you who skip to the end of the book and read it first. Naughty, naughty!
Fortunately, you're acting out the book like you're supposed to, right? Well, let that be a lesson to you.)
THE END