Chapter 14SethI’d really fucked things up with Baker. It was my responsibility…no, privilege to take care of him, and I’d made him feel unwanted. The thought of the man I loved hurting because he believed I didn’t find him sexually attractive made my heart ache with enough pain to nearly cripple me. If I didn’t have our evening already planned, I probably would be doubled over with worry.
What kind of irresponsible Dom let something like this slink into our lives? Maybe Samantha was right by sending her stepbrother to watch over Baker? And, yes, that’s exactly what I thought Eli’s sudden presence in Colorado was. When Landon told me, it had been nothing more than an irritant. I had nothing to worry about. Baker and I were happy…like happily-ever-after happy. At least I’d thought we were.
Was tonight the wrong night to do what I’d been planning for weeks? Was my timing fucked up?
The questions were still running in a loop inside my head when we pulled into our driveway. It looked like the workers had finished installing the black iron fencing around the property, so maybe that would perk Baker up. I looked over to see him gnawing his bottom lip like a man chewing on his last meal before execution. I cleared my throat. “It looks like they finished the fencing today. That means as soon as they get the gate up, we’ll be able to start searching the animal shelters for those dogs you’re wanting.”
Slowly, he turned to look at me and then whispered, “I love you, Seth. I…uh…I just want you to know that, okay?”
I frowned. “And I love you, too, Baker.” Shit, the problem was worse than I’d even suspected. Despair lurked in his eyes. “Baker, I need you to go inside the house, remove all your clothing, and kneel beside the front door. Wait for me there.”
He took a deep, faltering breath. “It’s okay, Seth. We don’t have to.”
“Do as you’re told, please.”
Without looking at me, he climbed out of the car, made his way to the front door, and went inside. I sat there…waiting. Never in my life did I imagine finding myself in this position, so I wasn’t properly prepared. Not properly prepared might be an understatement. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing.
I’d never wanted it before. With Baker, it was all I could think of.
Would I be pushing too hard? Moving too fast?
Not only was I the only man Baker had ever had sex with, I had a feeling I was the only serious relationship he’d ever been in. Well, we had that much in common-the relationship part. I’d been so caught up in what I was doing…what I wanted…that I hadn’t paused long enough to see that the man I loved was hurting.
And he was hurting because of me.
Satisfied that I’d given him enough time, I climbed out of the car and made my way to the front door. I’d already texted William, our housekeeper, to ensure that everything was in place, so at least I wouldn’t have that to worry about. That left only a half a million other worries floating around in my head.
I stepped inside to find Baker naked and kneeling, just as I’d requested. His chin rested against his chest in a submissive pose. Knees were spread, and hands clasped behind his back. His posture and posing were perfect. His cock was limp.
So his body was perfect, but his heart and soul weren’t playing along.
I’d never been angrier in my entire life. Angry at myself for letting him get to this point. I should have explained. Fuck, I’d thought that since I was happier than I’d ever been in my life, he would feel the same. For the past three weeks, I’d taken my eyes off the prize.
I would never do it again.
I moved to stand in front of him and put one of my fingers beneath his chin to lift his face. He was, even with sadness lurking in his blue eyes, the most beautiful creature on the face of this earth. How could I have ever gotten so fucking lucky to have won his love?
“You aren’t happy, are you, Baker?” I asked softly.
“Of course, I am,” he lied.
“Why aren’t you hard for me?”
He tried to drop his head, but I wouldn’t allow it. “Honesty, Baker. Remember? With our games, one must always be honest.”
He closed his eyes slowly and then opened them again. “Because I’m angry with you. I’m afraid. I’m confused. I…I think you aren’t happy with me anymore, that you’ve grown tired of me.” Another blink. “And I think you might be seeing someone else. That’s why I’m not hard…Sir.”
Seeing someone else? My knees nearly collapsed as his words seeped into my soul. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I was pretty sure my heart stopped beating.