She nods, and I can see the heartbreak in her eyes.
“But now we’re having a baby.” I smile at her, wiping a few tears from her cheek with the gentle brush of my fingers. “And I was completely honest with what I said in the hallway earlier. I’m ecstatic to go on this adventure with you.”
She tries to smile but fails. “I’m not trapping you, Zeke. I have literally no expectations of involvement from you.”
I can tell she isn’t saying these things to upset me. I’ve hurt her so many times, that she can’t trust me. I’ve been nice to her in the past only to turn around and be the exact opposite.
“I know,” I tell her, pressing my lips to the tip of her nose. “I plan to prove myself to you. I’m going to show you every day how I feel, with actions, not with words. Get ready Frankie Young, before you know it, you’ll be in love with me, too.”Chapter 44Frankie
Leaving Zeke yesterday while the pleading for an answer to his confessions were playing out on his face was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but staying there when I was so raw and unsure wasn’t an option either.
I had no idea the extent of what he was going through while I was visiting Nan. I felt that same shove from my grandmother that Zeke talked about, but being in a different place in my own journey, dating the cute boy seemed like a good idea, until the way he treated me at his truck that night. But as I stared up at my ceiling last night, I realized that what he said is exactly what happened. He wanted me, then he didn’t. The push and pull for the last couple of months has been about him fighting his own demons.
Is he done fighting them? He said he was, but even as much as I want to, I can’t just go all-in. I can’t give him everything when I’m still afraid he’ll turn into that guy that treats me poorly. We’re having a baby, and I can’t trust him. Knowing that kills my spirit a little.
I gave him my phone number before I left, but when he texted sweet words later that night, I couldn’t bring myself to respond. I’m so twisted up and confused. So leery and still in so much pain from what’s happened between us that I didn’t know what to say. Ignoring him was a jerk move, but it was the best I could do.
This morning doesn’t bring any revelations either. The teasing and taunting still continue as I walk down the hall, but I don’t have time to consider what my life will be like after the entire school found out about my pregnancy because my name is called over the loudspeaker before I can make it to homeroom.
Piper squeezes my hand before offering to join me in the office, but I decline, not knowing what’s going on.
I’d hoped that the news Bronwyn so viciously shared with everyone would go unnoticed by school staff, but when I enter the office, the look on the office manager’s face says I’m not so lucky. My time is up. My parents are going to find out, and that means another round of yelling and disappointment is coming my way.
I sit uncomfortably in the chair up front until I’m called back to speak with Mr. Lockwood. I haven’t had much interaction with the school’s administration because I stay out of trouble, but I can see disappointment in his eyes when I take a seat across from him. On the other side of the room, Ms. Singleton, the school’s guidance counselor sits stoically with a stack of pamphlets in her hand.
“Ms. Young,” Mr. Lockwood says as he takes a seat. “It’s come to our attention that you’re pregnant.”
So much for small talk and pleasantries.
“Yes, sir,” I answer, my pulse pounding in the hollow of my neck so hard I wonder if he can see it.
“Do your parents know?”
“Yes,” I lie, needing a little more time before they find out.
He doesn’t look like he believes me, but he nods his head in acceptance.
“We’ve made adjustments to your schedule. You’ll no longer have homeroom first period. You’ve been moved to the family planning class in Room 214.”
He hands me over a new copy of my schedule, and I take it with shaking hands.
“Here is some literature for you to review,” Ms. Singleton says as she stands before shoving the stack of pamphlets into my hands. “I’m here to discuss your options and assist you in any way.”
She doesn’t seem like she’s willing to help, more that she’s required to provide me with these things. I’ve had a couple of conversations with her about my plans for the future, but the look on her face makes shame swim in my gut, as if I’ve personally offended her somehow.