I roll my shoulders to try to alleviate the sensation, but it doesn’t work. Even looking at Rowdy, my attention is on the man who’s made my life miserable since I arrived, and I can tell his angry energy is directed at me as well.
“I don’t—” I sigh, resigned to going back inside to let them work. They have so much to do on a daily basis, I don’t want to be their reason they fall behind, no matter how bored I am.
“I have a better idea,” Rowdy says, reaching for my arm as I turn to walk away. “I was just fixing to head into town for some supplies. Wanna keep me company on the drive?”
“I, umm…” I turn slightly so I can see Zeke from the corner of my eye, and even though I can tell he’s watching the two of us like a hawk, his eyes are directed to the bag of feed he’s just cut open. “Sure.”
Coming out here was a bad idea and getting away from the malice in his eyes is my top priority. I grin again, grateful that he’s offering me a reprieve.
“I’ll meet you at the truck,” Rowdy says, and I don’t miss a beat getting out of the barn.
After letting Nan know I’m going to head into town with Rowdy, I climb inside of his truck. It’s ten times nicer than Zeke’s with a working radio and a functioning air conditioner, but as Rowdy climbs inside and drives off the property, I find myself missing the wind in my hair the way it was when I went to town with Zeke.
“Did you finally give up on him?”
I swallow thickly, unsure of how to answer the question. I’d like to think I’m the type of person to never give up on anyone, but Zeke makes it very difficult to even be in the same room as him. He’s agitating at best, and when he’s at his worst, he’s hostile and belligerent.
“It’s complicated,” I mutter after Rowdy makes it clear with his silence that he’s not going to let me go without responding.
He chuckles. “Love always is.”
“Not even close to love,” I say, turning my head to look at him.
“You know, when Shawn and I first met, he was just as angry as Zeke. He hated the world. He couldn’t accept that he was different from what his family told him he should be when he was growing up. He carried a lot of hate and anger around for a very long time.”
“Well, Zeke is just hateful and malicious. He isn’t fighting societal beliefs because he doesn’t fit into a certain mold.”
“But he has his own troubles,” Rowdy counters.
“I know he’s having a hard time. I know his father is very sick, and I can empathize with that, but there’s no need to act the way he does. He has treated me poorly since day one, long before he found out his dad was sick. He’s just mean. I don’t have time for people like him in my life.”
Rowdy only responds by nodding in agreement. Silence fills the cab of the truck as we head into town, and it’s several long minutes before he speaks again.
“Being a teenage boy is hard.”
I scoff. “Being a teenage girl is no easier.”
“He’s been dealt a crappy hand.”
I glare at him, but he keeps his focus on the road ahead of us. “Really? Did he sit down and tell you about his life? Are you guys like besties or something?”
Zeke is a fortress, never disclosing anything until he’s good and ready. I find it hard to believe that he may have opened up to Rowdy, and honestly the prospect wounds me. I’ve done my best to be friends with Zeke, and he just relishes turning on me every chance he gets.
A wry grin tugs up the corner of Rowdy’s mouth. “He doesn’t talk to me, but everyone else in this town talks. Gossip is the greatest pastime around here. Folks offer up information on everyone without so much as a push in that direction.”
“Okay.” I cross my arms over my chest and give him my full attention, even the parts that want to think about what things would be like if Zeke wasn’t the biggest jerk that walked the earth. “What are people saying about him?”
“His family lost their own ranch. The land that Zeke was supposed to inherit was foreclosed on several years ago. They lost their house and had to move onto someone else’s property, work someone else’s cattle and land.”
I let that sink in, trying to imagine what it’s like to lose everything, but the concept is too foreign for me. I’ve never questioned the things I’ve been afforded in life. I have absent parents, but the material things are readily available, expensive substitutes for the love and affection that I really crave.