I held her tightly. “You owe me nothing. But if you want to do something for me…just think about me when I’m gone. Spend time with Rory. Do what you need to. But when you’re not with him, really think about me. Remember everything that I’ve said and that we’ve done.”
She pulled back to look at me. “I promise, I will.”
The sound of a horn outside interrupted our moment.
“Fuck. The car is here. I’m gonna get my mother and the cat situated downstairs. Then, I’ll come back up to say goodbye, alright?”
We left the bedroom, and Amber hugged my mother goodbye, promising to see her again soon. I hoped that was really the case. Only God knew how bad my mother would be the next time Amber saw her.
Mom held Kitty in a carrier. The poor cat was meowing like crazy. If you think about it, this must have been scary as all hell for her. Her life literally consisted of breaking out of a truck and then all she knew was me and this place. She probably thought she’d be here forever. And now she didn’t know where the hell she was going.
I’m scared of the unknown, too, Kitty.
Grabbing the one black suitcase I’d arrived with along with a small bag of things my mother had accumulated while here, we walked down to the Uber SUV parked in front of Amber’s building.
After getting Mom settled in the backseat, I slipped the driver a bonus twenty, letting him know I might be a few minutes and telling him to please be patient.
Amber was waiting by the window when I returned to her bedroom.
She turned around. “This is it?”
I swallowed. “Yeah.”
About a week ago, I’d purchased a piece of mistletoe from a shop downtown, planning to take it out on Christmas Eve and play around with it. I pulled it out of my pocket.
Her mouth moved into a slight grin. “What’s that?”
“Glittery mistletoe. I was gonna try to be funny on Christmas Eve. I had this idea that I was gonna wrap it around my cock when you came to bed…make you laugh. I bought it before any of this happened.”
She wiped the tears from her eyes. “That would have been so funny.”
I walked slowly toward her and placed it over her head. “Since we won’t be together for Christmas, can I kiss you under this mistletoe?”
“I would love nothing more.”
She parted her lips, and I hungrily took them into my mouth. It wasn’t my intention to kiss her so forcefully, but the magnitude of this was really hitting me.
What if this was the last time?
Amber was feeling it, too. She gripped my jacket for dear life. The mistletoe slipped out of my hands and onto the ground.
“I have to go,” I said huskily over her lips.
“Don’t.” Her tears were all over my face.
I kissed her harder. And I lost it. Totally fucking lost it. The next thing I knew, she was desperately unbuttoning my jeans. Her ass was on the windowsill, and her legs were wrapped around my back.
It didn’t matter that my mother and the cat were downstairs with the Uber driver. All that mattered was getting inside of her again. Secretly, a part of me also needed to know that she wouldn’t deny me.
I reached over to the nightstand and fumbled for a condom, ripping it open in record time.
Once the rubber was on, I moaned from deep in the back of my throat as I sank into her. It felt like it had been a hundred years.
My thrusts were fast, hard, and desperate. Her back was banging against the window as I fucked her for dear life, knowing that it very well could have been our last time. Her hands were pulling my hair as I gently bit at her skin.
Groaning into her neck, I said, “I can’t fucking quit you, Amber. Don’t make me.”
“Stay inside of me, Channing. Fuck me harder.”
A car horn from outside barely registered through the sounds of our desperation, the slapping of our skin, the clanking of my belt buckle.
Even though I never wanted this to end, I needed release, and I needed to leave.
“I need to go,” I whispered in her ear before my body started shaking as I came inside of her, pumping until there was nothing left. She gasped and clenched her muscles around my cock, following suit with her own orgasm.
The coldness I felt as I pulled out of her was excruciating. Our foreheads were still touching as we panted together.
“I really do have to leave now.”
I swiftly zipped up my jeans and gave her one last firm kiss on the lips before walking away.
I turned around one last time. “I may not have been your first love, but you’re mine.”
She silently nodded as more tears fell. I could feel my own eyes getting watery, but there was no way I was going to cry.