“I’m sure.”
“Okay. But you’re good? Everything went okay?” She walked over to me, handing me a glass.
“Yes. Everything was amazing. Too amazing. The only downside of the night was when his phone went off during dinner. He’d gone to the bathroom. I couldn’t help flipping it over and taking a peek. It was Emily texting him. Jealousy crept in. And feeling that way made me think that I’ve really been kidding myself that we can just stay friends.”
“Okay, but you said you both agreed not to sleep with other people while this was going on, right? So, what are you worried about?”
“That doesn’t mean he can’t have feelings for someone else or even see her. It just means no sex. Anyway, I’m mad at myself for getting so worked up over it. That sort of defeats the purpose of the casual sex arrangement, doesn’t it?”
“Well, that’s the risk you take when you agree to something like this. I mean, he’s your friend. You care about him. When you add physical intimacy into the mix, those feelings are going to get all jumbled. You’re only human.”
Swirling my wine around in the glass, I stared mindlessly at it. “I don’t want to feel this way. I want to be able to enjoy the pleasure that being with him brings without letting in any of the complicated thoughts, but it’s hard.”
Annabelle took a sip of her wine and placed it down. “You’ll figure it out. I don’t envy you, though, and I do worry you’re going to end up getting hurt. But I’m not going to tell you to stop, because I don’t think I would be able to if I were you, either. You need this. I can only imagine that the sex is mind-blowing.”
God, yes, it was. I hadn’t been able to think of anything else.
“I’m pretty much going with it for the experience, knowing that I’ll probably get hurt and taking the risk anyway.”
“So much of what we do in life is like that.”
The front door opened, startling us. Channing was home from work. He wasn’t supposed to be back until much later. My heart started to pitter-patter. I wasn’t ready for this.
Annabelle was beaming at the sight of him. It was the first opportunity she’d had to meet him in person.
“Hey,” he said as he entered the living room. His eyes fell to the wine bottle and plate of cheese curls lying out on the coffee table.
“Channing, this is—”
“Annabelle.” He nodded, offering her his hand and a wide smile. “I know who you are. Really nice to meet you.”
“I guess my reputation precedes me?” Annabelle grinned. I could tell she was really impressed that he knew her name.
“Well, Amber’s mentioned you several times. I know you’re a good friend.”
“It’s amazing meeting you, as well. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“I’m certain you have,” Channing said as he took a seat on the couch. “Mind if I join in?”
I hesitated. “Um…sure.”
He poured himself a glass of wine before lying his head back. “Fuck. Today was a long day. I’m so glad to be home.”
“I thought you were supposed to be working late.”
“My meeting was cancelled. I was psyched about that. I’ve wanted nothing all day but to get home, eat a nice meal, and chillax.”
Kitty ran into the room and jumped onto Channing’s lap. He gently rubbed her head as he sipped his cabernet. Chills ran through me as I thought about those hands on me—in me—a couple of days ago. It was impossible to be around Channing anymore without having the phantom feelings of him touching me, of him inside of me. I felt him all over my body even when he wasn’t around, but the feelings were even stronger when he was present. True to his word, ever since Saturday, he hadn’t so much as brushed up against me. Being without his touch after an entire day of drowning in him was harder than I’d ever anticipated.
Annabelle couldn’t take her eyes off him. She had the goofiest grin on her face. I wished I could’ve smacked it away.
He shocked the life out of me when he turned to her. “So, I’m assuming Amber told you we’re fucking?”
The wine practically sprayed out of my nose. I grabbed a napkin.
Did he just say what I thought he said?
The room went silent. Annabelle looked like a deer in headlights. Then the goofy grin on her face returned in full force. The guilt was written all over her. She was making it very clear without saying anything that, of course, I’d told her.
She looked over at me. “Umm…”
He addressed her, “I mean, we can sit here and pretend like you don’t know, but we all know that’s not the case.” He glanced over at me and said, “Look, I know Amber tells you everything. She’s mentioned that to me before. So, I’m not stupid. When I first walked in, the two of you looked like scared mice. I’m certain you were talking about me, and that’s perfectly fine. Amber needs a good girlfriend to confide in. I’m happy she has that in you.”