I heard the sofa depress under his weight.
“So, what can I do for you, Sawyer?”
“There’s talk around town that you’re mixed up with that oddball hick up at Old Man’s Creek.”
I took a deep breath. “He is not an oddball hick,” I said slowly and clearly.
“Heck, Lara. You don’t know what a risk you’re taking going off with him alone to that godforsaken place. Anything could happen to you.”
I felt my temper rising, but I held myself in check. “As you can see nothing has happened to me. I’m perfectly safe. Mr. Carson has been nothing but a gentleman.”
“I don’t like it.”
Wow. Where did that come from? “I beg your pardon.”
He stood up and started pacing the floor. “Don’t go to his house, Lara,” he burst out suddenly. To my shock he marched up to me, grabbed me by my upper arms, and pulled me upright.
“Sawyer!” I squealed, completely taken aback and confused. What on earth was going on?
He let go of me as suddenly as he had grabbed me. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, and took a step back. He seemed so agitated I couldn’t think straight or understand what was going on. I heard him move away from me as I rubbed my arms where he had grabbed me.
He came back towards me, and though my instinct was to step back, I held my ground.
“Please, Lara,” he begged. “I simply can’t bear the thought of you going to his house and spending time with him. It makes me sick to my stomach. I worry about you, you know?”
My mouth dropped open with shock. My mind went blank. What the hell was he talking about? I ran my hand through my hair. I took a deep breath.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re engaged to Kayleigh, aren’t you?” I asked. I didn’t know Kayleigh, but her family owned most of the land around here, and most of the wealth too. Elaine went to school with her. When I asked her to describe Kayleigh, she just snorted, and said in a sour voice, “Just imagine a cow wearing a tiara, then imagine it being snooty to boot.” But I knew it wasn’t true. Kayleigh was beautiful. There was even talk of her becoming a model.
He made a tortured sound. “Yes, yes, yes, I know goddamnit, but fucking hell, you know that I’m in love with you.”
I felt cold all over. “What are you talking about?”
“I loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you,” he declared passionately.
“You didn’t want me. I offered myself to you, remember?” I cried.
“Oh, Lara. What a little innocent you are. I love you, I always have, surely you know that, but I can’t marry you.”
It hit me then and I took a step back. “Because I’m blind?”
“No, no, you little fool. I wouldn’t care if you were legless and armless.”
“Why then?” I whispered.
“Fuck.”
“Tell me,” I yelled suddenly.
“It’s money, okay? It’s her fucking money,” he screamed back.
I fell backwards into the chair, breathing hard. “This is crazy.”
“I can’t bear to lose you to that, that murderer.”
“Murderer?” I repeated in a daze.
“Everyone knows he killed his wife.”
“He did not murder his wife,” I said quietly.
“How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
“Yeah, and everybody thought John Gacy was just a clown.”
“I don’t get it, Sawyer. You’re going to marry Kayleigh. What do you want from me?”
“I want you to be my sweetheart, Lara.”
A disbelieving laugh escaped my lips. “You want me to be your whore.”
“No. It’s not like that. I love you.”
“Not more than Kayleigh’s father’s money it would seem,” I said bitterly.
“It’ll just be a marriage of convenience. It’s you in my thoughts, my heart, my soul. I love you, Lara. Please, just wait for me. I swear, we’ll be together one day soon. I want to marry you. With every fiber of my being.” He stopped to take a deep breath. “Just give me two years. That’s all I need. I have a plan. Old man Havington has promised me that I’ll be head of his business. I’ll work hard and make enough money for us. Enough to take care of you. You won’t ever have to work again.”
“Two years?”
“Yes,” he cried eagerly. “Two years is nothing. It’ll fly, you’ll see. Just please don’t give yourself to anyone else until them.”
“What if you have kids, Sawyer?”
“I’ll let her keep them. I only want the kids we make together.”
I shook my head in wonder. “I used to envy Kayleigh. I used to think she had everything, money, looks, you. I used to dream of you, but you know what? I pity her now.”
“You don’t have to pity her. She knows I don’t love her. She just wants to hang on the arm of the best looking man in Durango Falls.”
I shook my head sadly. “Then I pity her more. Good luck with your life, Sawyer. I’ll certainly not be waiting for you.”
He knelt in front of me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and I hated it. To think I cried for this man. What a silly girl I was.
“Please, Lara. Please. Please understand,” he urged desperately.
“I understand perfectly.”
“No, you don’t. I want to give you everything. Everything I’m doing is for you. Say you’ll wait for me. Please don’t go to that crazy wolfman.”
“You’re not half the man he is,” I said through clenched teeth.
He jerked forward, and suddenly his lips were on mine. Wet and insistent. For a second I was paralyzed, then I opened my lips and bit down hard. He screamed and fell backwards. “You bit me,” he cried incredulously.
“Get out,” I said, wiping my mouth. I could taste his blood. “Get out and never come back.”
“This is not over. I’m not giving up,” he yelled, but he picked himself up and rushed out. I listened to the door slam then began to cry. I had no one.
Everybody who really loved me was gone forever.
Twenty
Kit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wutmEjdbedE
I opened my eyes to pale blue light stealing into the room. The fire had gone out hours ago, and the tip of my nose was numb with cold. My first thought was, She won’t be coming today.
I sighed, and my breath turned into white smoke. The days when she was not due to come over had started to stretch like endless wastelands that I had to trudge across. I shut my eyes and thought of her in her home fast asleep, and felt a strange sense of peace.
I imagined her sightless eyes closed. Would she be dreaming now? How did people who had never had sight dream? I decided to ask her the next time I saw her. She was full of surprises. The other day she surprised me by saying she “watched” movies.
The thought of a blind person sitting in front of a screen filled with moving images, and trying to ‘get’ a movie purely by listening to the sounds coming from it was sort of outlandish. I would have thought nobody would since so much of the stories are told through images, little nuances of hand movements and facial expressions.
But Lara assured me that she did “watch” movies. The last two were The Hunger Games and The Twilight Series.
“What did you think of them?” I asked curiously.
“Well, the music scores were really good, the heroines kicked ass, but the heroes were complete wimps.”
That sure made me smile.
“My rating: 3 stars for Twilight and 4.5 for Hunger Games,” she said.
“When was the last movie you watched?” I asked.
“Two weeks ago.”
“What was it?”
“Spiderman.”
“What did you think of it?”
“I thought I was playing it on the wrong speed, or I was watching a rerun of Friends. Not only was it so slow moving, I only managed to squeeze one laugh out of it.”
I laughed. “I take it you don’t like Friends.”