“This boy of yours went and kissed Jake Eden’s eldest daughter.” He shook his head with disgust. “Better yet, the fool thinks he’s got a shot at making her his bride.”
Ma’s eyes widened with astonishment. She quickly took a step backwards to let us come into the caravan. Her smooth forehead was creased with frown lines. The caravan always felt too small with both my da and I in it, but today it seemed even more cramped. I felt like breaking a window, or running away and not coming back until I had achieved my goal of making Liliana Eden mine.
My father released my neck and looked at me sternly. His black eyes shot sparks of anger. I know he was trying to protect me, but it was not necessary. I had it all worked out. I could take care of myself. I would get a proper job, I would save and when I had enough, I would run away with Liliana. No one would be able to find us. We’d just be happy together, then when she became heavy with child, her father would have no choice but to forgive us and accept us into his family.
“Is this true?” Ma asked softly.
“Yes,” I shouted defiantly. “I love her and I’m gonna marry her, Ma.”
My mother stepped forward, both her hands clasped together, “Oh, Brand darling, you can’t marry the Eden girl. She’s not like us. We’re poor folk, definitely not good enough for the likes of her family. Her father will never allow it.”
“Yes, tell this blind fool how it is.” He turned towards me, his face sneering. “Anyway, I don’t know how you plan to marry her, when she doesn’t even like you. Tell your ma what she did when you kissed her?”
Ma’s eyes widened with surprise and bewilderment, but she turned to Da and defended me loyally. “Can you give your boy a break? He’s just a kid. He doesn’t understand. Surely you know what first love feels like.”
“First love?” my father jeered. “A fecking disgrace is what it is.”
I clenched my jaw. He would never understand. No one would. Not even Ma.
My father starting laughing cruelly. “What’s the matter? Where’s all your big talk now, you big stupid wildebeest, eh?”
“Is someone going to tell me what happened?” Ma asked.
“This fool kissed and she ran off crying to her da. He rushed over to me, his face like thunder, and told me to take my son and feck off his land. And never come back.” He shook his head regretfully. “The shame. That was a good job too. Jake Eden always paid well.”
“I can go and talk to him,” I said proudly. “I can tell him that you’re not responsible for my actions.”
“Oh, listen to him, Ma. Little upstart thinks he’s a big man now.” He turned to me, and for the first time I saw that he was truly furious. “You dare step one foot on that man’s land again and I’ll cut it off with my own damn saw. The shame of it. I swear it, Brand, you won’t bring shame to this family by going there and begging for any crumbs off his table. You’ll forget you ever saw that girl, you hear me, boy?”
“No,” I said clearly.
“What did you say?” he bellowed
“I won’t forget her, Da. I’m gonna marry her.”
My father lunged towards me to hit me, and at the same time my mother ran in front of me, yelling “Don’t.”
My father’s blow caught her on the side of her forehead. It should have been nothing. If it had reached me, it would have hurt less than the one he gave me in the truck, but the force of his blow made my tiny mother fly into the air. Her scream started and ended when she hit her head on the edge of the stove. Then she fell face down on the kitchen floor. And remained unmoving.
For a few seconds neither my father or me moved. We were too stunned. Too amazed to comprehend the situation. Then my father staggered forward and fell next to her. He turned her over. There was no blood, no real indication that it was serious. He stroked her face, he touched her closed eyelids, he kissed her unresponsive lips again and again. He called her name, he shook her, he cried, he howled, but she never woke up again.
Her neck was broken high up on her spinal column. Later I would find out that the freak accident had caused an internal decapitation.
In that one crazy instant, she went away from us. Forever.
Chapter Nineteen
Liliana
At my silent nod, Brand lets go of me. Any arousal I saw when I first came into the room is gone from his cold black eyes. He looks down at me with disgust.
“Take your clothes off. I want to fuck you again.”
I know what he is doing. He is trying to humiliate me, but I won’t let him. Brand Vaughan is not going to intimidate me any further. I am certain that he is unwilling to kill me, at least for now, so I have to do my best to stand up to him, and find a way to resolve his grudge. This might be the only way I walk out of this nightmare. I lick my dry lips. “Yes, we can … do it again, if you want, but we have to use condoms from now on.”
His eyes fill with real amusement. It makes him look even more attractive. “I went in bare the last time … and I think I liked that very fucking much.”
I square my shoulders. “I don’t want to get pregnant.”
“Bit late to be worrying about that, don’t you think? You might already be carrying my bastard child.”
“I took a morning after pill after the last time. I asked Mrs. Parks to get it for me.”
He cocks his head and contemplates me. “Mmm … it’s an interesting idea to see your belly growing big with my seed. It will be the perfect punishment. You’ll stay with me until you give birth, and then I’ll keep the child and send you back to your da.”
“I’d rather die than bring a child into this world so it can suffer with a monster like you. We had an agreement. You can have my body, but not children.”
He laughs mockingly. “My, my, it was actually a repugnant idea, but the more you reveal how much you hate the thought the more attractive it becomes.”
“This is non-negotiable. I don’t think a child should be conceived in such an ire of hatred.”
“Actually, I agree with you. You can have your bloody condoms.”
I exhale with sheer relief. “Thank you. There is one more thing.”
He raises an enquiring eyebrow.
“I need to speak to my mother. She is very delicate, and I want to talk to her and reassure her that I’m fine.” My words were rushed in my eagerness to impress upon him how important it is that I am allowed to speak to her.
His eyes show no emotion. “There you go again making all kinds of demands. Spoilt little Liliana. Give her an inch and she wants a mile.”
I panic. I never thought he would say no to this request. “Please. I won’t ask for anything else. I just want to reassure my poor mother.”
“No,” he says shortly.
I stare at him in horror. “Why? Why do you have to hurt her? She has never done anything to you.”
“Because it hurts you when I hurt her.”
In that moment I forget everything Mrs. Parks told me. Any feeling of pity or empathy is gone, and I wonder how it is possible for anyone to hate another human being so much. I forget about
being calm and negotiating and just lash out. “You’re so angry with the whole world because you had to suffer, but the problem is not the world. It is you. You are the problem. YOU. You are a selfish pig who thinks the whole world owes you something. So I ran and told my father about the kiss, and I’m really sorry something bad happened to your family as a result, but that’s just life. Bad things happen. Other people get over it. Maybe you should try it instead of living inside all this fake drama.”
I know I have touched a nerve because his eyes glitter with fury. His fingers dig brutally into the flesh of my arm as he drags me along. I am literally pushed into my room and the door bangs shut behind me. I totter and fall to the ground. The sound of the lock is loud. Then I hear him speak on his cellphone and the words he says shock me so much I freeze.
“Send me Eden’s location,” he snaps.
Fear grips my heart. Jesus Christ, what have I done? What is he going to do? The fear threatens to suffocate me. I rush to the door and bang on it, calling for him, calling for Mrs. Parks, but I know that it is fruitless. He won’t open the door, and she won’t be able to hear me. Even if she does she will be too conflicted by her loyalty to the monster who has become her son, to answer.
The door is a solid oak monstrosity, and at least a century old: thick, and impervious, it almost drives me to madness with frustration, but still, I cannot stop. I cannot give up. I have to do everything I can to help my dad. I continue to pound on the door, my legs flailing out to kick at it violently until my knuckles are bleeding and my foot swollen from the kicks. Only when my toe is finally injured that I limp away to settle back on the floor.