Half a dozen times, I open my mouth to tell them no, that I’ve changed my mind, and half a dozen times, I stay silent. What price can I put on Ursa and Alaric’s lives? I can’t. The cost of losing them is too high.
It doesn’t matter if it feels like my heart is shattering into half a million pieces. They’re alive. I don’t have to live in a world where they no longer exist, even if they’re no longer in my world.
Jael slouches back against the seat and exhales. “That went so much smoother than I expected.” She drums her fingers on her thigh. “Though I’ll admit I’m kind of disappointed we didn’t get a look at her.”
“Jael, hush.” Aya takes my hands. “Zuri, you look sick. Are you okay?”
I’m not okay. I’m not sure I’ll ever be okay again. I should try to smile, should fall back into my practiced way of ensuring my sisters don’t worry about me, but the mask feels cracked beyond repair. But how can I tell them the truth? I swallow hard. “I’ll be fine.” Even that lukewarm statement feels like a lie.
Aya finally nods and turns to Jael. “We have to be careful sneaking back in. Father’s going to be furious.”
“He’ll get over it.” Jael sounds so unconcerned, but then she’s always been fearless. Even with him. Especially with him. She takes after Father in more than just her features and hair color. She’s got his temper and brashness, too. It means they clash more than he does with any of my other sisters, but somehow she gets away with whatever she wants to despite that. Or maybe because of it.
Aya lowers her voice. “We have to talk about how to broach the subject of Zuri being back.”
At this, I stir. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Zuri—”
“I said I’ll take care of it.” I look at my sisters. “I chose to leave. I’ll talk to Father myself when we get back.” It only gives me a couple hours to figure out what to say, how to handle the coming confrontation, but it will have to be enough.
We pass beyond the Carver City limits, and I close my eyes, the last of my shock fading away. Anger takes its place, a deeper, darker rage than I’ve ever known. He couldn’t just let me go. Couldn’t let the Sea Witch come out on top. No, he had to be right, to win, to regain his possession. Even if I find a way through this, it’s too late now.
Ursa and Alaric will never forgive me for making the choice I have tonight.
I’ve lost them.Chapter 29UrsaZuri’s been gone longer than she should be. I try to be patient, because as tame as tonight has been compared to some of the things we’ve done, it’s still a significant jump forward in our relationship. I’m feeling a little unsteady, so it stands to reason that she and Alaric are as well. I suspect our progress forward will be all fits and starts, but it will be progress.
Gaeton and Beast finish with Isabelle a short time later, and that’s about as long as I’m willing to wait. I nudge Alaric up. “Let’s go find our little Zuri.”
He frowns. “She couldn’t have gotten lost. It’s a straight shot from here to the bathroom.”
“Maybe she needed some time to collect herself.” We’ve thrown a lot at her in a short time, and Alaric compounded it tonight with his declaration.
He loves me.
I admitted that I love him, too.
And the sky didn’t fall. We’re still standing, still looking at a future that’s hopeful and filled with something just for me. Someone just for me. Two someones.
I find I’m smiling as we make our way to the hall that houses the bathrooms. I give Alaric’s hand a squeeze. “Go get her.”
He returns a few seconds later, a frown pulling his brows together. “The bathroom’s empty.”
Alarm bells peal through my mind. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we’re rubbing shoulders with enemies in the Underworld because it’s neutral territory, but really it’s only the threat of Hades that stops people from making moves here. If someone took her…
She could be hurt right now. Scared. She could be fucking dead.
I shove the thoughts down. There’s no reason to worry. Maybe those things would be a risk somewhere else, but not here. This is the Underworld. Hades rules here with an iron fist. There is absolutely no chance that she’s come to harm within this building, no matter what my fears are clamoring.
But I still gather up my dress so I can take longer strides as I head back into the public playroom. Zuri couldn’t have come back this way without us seeing her. Even knowing that, I pause and survey the room. It’s crowded enough that it takes a few moments to confirm what I already know. She’s not here.