I did this.
I got him shot, I drove Maddoc away, I left Royce feeling abandoned.
I killed my mother, and inadvertently Collins’, too.
Donley will come after us now, for answers if not for more. He—
“Stop it,” is whispered in my ear and my head snaps left.
Victoria stares up at me, distress in her brown eyes. “This isn’t your fault.”
“Isn’t it?” I say back, not bothering to whisper. “She was my mother, she showed up because of me, left because of me, hated this world because of me. I did this. My existence brought all this on. I never should have made it out of the womb. Go, Vee. Get some sleep.”
Her eyes narrow. “You need sleep, and you need to eat.”
“Why should I eat when he doesn’t get to?”
“Because he’d want you to. And he’d be angry if he knew you hadn’t. They all would.”
I shake my head looking away, but she grips my chin forcing it back.
I glare at her.
“I’m getting you something, and you’re eating it. If you don’t, I’ll make sure they tie your ass down, shove a feeding tube down your throat and make you.”
I can’t help it, a small scoffed laugh leaves me, but my stupid eyes fill with moisture. I clench my jaw, nodding.
Her shoulders visibly fall with her sigh and she rushes from the room.
“Mrs. Brayshaw.”
I look over my shoulder to find Fernando at the door.
Royce hops to his feet, moving toward him, but he keeps his eyes on me.
“Ms. Maybell is downstairs. She’s staring up at the window.”
I look to Royce right as his head snaps to mine. He gives a small nod, so I say, “Let her up.”
I never should have made it out of the womb, I said.
Females were no good to him.
Holy shit.
I jolt from my chair, my eyes flying to Royce before I storm out to find the nurse.
“Carmen!” I shout right before she disappears behind a door.
Her worried eyes hit mine and she rushes my way but keeps moving past. “What happened?”
“No, wait!”
She spins on her heels, frowning at me.
“He’s fine.” I shake my head, thinking better of my words. “Or nothing has changed. This is about something else.”
The woman’s brows pull in and she steps closer to me. “What is it?”
“Blood,” I say, and she tilts her head. “When someone donates blood, it has to be clean, right?”
“Clean?”
“No diseases, no drugs. Clean.”
She nods. “Yes, that’s right.”
“Do you test the blood or take the person’s word for it?”
“Everything is tested before being marked clear for transfusion.” The edges of her eyes tighten. “I can promise you the blood used for Captain was squeaky clean.”
“What about mine?”
Her head draws back.
“Raven...” Royce draws out slowly, but I ignore him.
“The blood you have in stock for me, the blood delivered by Estella Graven. Was it tested yet and found clean?”
“Of course. It was tested the day it arrived. Things may be run a little unorthodox in this wing, but I promise you we still practice good medicine.”
“So there were no drugs found in the blood given to you for me?”
“None.”
My shoulders fall and I stumble back slightly until my ass hits the wall. I use it to hold me up, tipping my head back for a deep breath when nausea fights its way in, but it’s no use.
I gag but swallow it down, only to gag again.
I slap my hand over my mouth and dash for the bathroom, just barely making it to the garbage in there before I can no longer hold it.
My stomach, already empty, releases more. Yellow and green acids fight their way out, and I dry heave, coughing and gagging every few seconds.
Once it stops for even a moment, I shift toward the sink and splash water on my face, before dropping my ass to the tile floor. I rest my head in my hands.
In the same second, the door slowly swings open, a water set in front of me.
I shake my head not bothering to look. “You’ve known all along, haven’t you?”
“Yes, child.”
“Rolland said he didn’t know. Did he lie?”
When she doesn’t respond, I drop my hands, my head falling back against the wall.
“Did he know?” I say louder this time.
Maybell shakes her head solemnly. “No, he hadn’t a clue.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? You could have protected this family. You should have protected this family. You could have prevented all of this!” I shout.
With a solemn expression, she lowers herself beside me. She reaches for my hand, but I draw away. It doesn’t deter her, she moves in again, capturing my fingers. “Don’t you see, baby girl,” she whispers, shifting even closer. “That’s what I’ve been doing all along.”
I eye her, not understanding.
“This family, the Brayshaw family. Your mother. You.”
When my brows pull in, she gives a slight nod.
“I was brought here, for her,” she tells me. “I raised your mother from the cradle to the contract, like I helped raise Rolland and his brother. I begged Ravina’s grandfather, your great grandfather, not to offer her like a prize, but I was only the nanny then. I had no voice, but I never left her. When she started staying at the Graven Estate, so did I. I watched her fall in love with Felix, then I watched her heart grow for his brother.