He shrugged, not arguing with her. He wanted her to at least be on the water, even for a short time in the harbor, but he was hanging on by a thread. "I'll tell you when we're in bed. In the dark."
"I'm fine with that."
Rikki drove in silence, wanting Lev to rest. She found herself enormously pleased that he'd wanted to go to the boat. That told her he was aware that she had difficulties if she was away from the water too long. A storm was supposed to hit around midnight, and she intended to sit in her swing on the porch and enjoy every second of it. Lev was looking gray beneath his skin. She doubted if anyone else would have noticed the changes in him, but she was aware of every breath he took, and he was hurting again.
When she would have turned onto the road leading to the farm, Lev stopped her. "Keep driving. Isn't there a back entrance?"
"I can take the road just past this entrance, but it's much longer and leads through the forest, so it's quite a distance coming in through the back. The back gate is kept pad-locked."
"I take it that no one travels on that road?"
"Rarely. There's two undeveloped properties off this road and I've never seen anyone come out this far, but then I don't take it that often." She glanced at him. "It's really long."
"Good. Drive in about a mile and then stop on the road and let me examine it."
"For what?"
"It rained, remember? This is a dirt road. I'll recognize the tire tracks of the bastard stalking you."
She turned that over in her mind, afraid to hope. "Lev, are you certain there was someone up on the ridge?"
"I told you I wouldn't lie to you and I won't. He loves fire, Rikki. It would be too big of a coincidence that someone shows up, watching the house and starting small fires just to pass to the time, and he not be the man responsible for the things that have happened to you."
"But it doesn't make any sense. What could I have done at thirteen to make him hate me so much that he was willing to kill people?"
"It doesn't have to make sense to us, lyubimaya, it only has to in his mind."
She liked the way he called her that name, the only time he used a Russian accent; otherwise, his American accent was perfect. "How many languages do you speak, Lev?"
He shrugged and continued looking out the window, examining the ground as she slowed to make it easier. The road was unkempt, cutting through heavier forest to circle the farm's acreage. There were two sets of tire marks marring the muddy road, as if two vehicles had traveled there in front of them. Both led to a gate to another property, the only evidence of others anywhere on the long winding road.
"Your neighbor," he asked.
"That property is undeveloped. We actually thought about trying to buy it, but it's priced a little too high for us right now."
He sat up straighter. "Stop for a minute." The tracks indicated that one of the vehicles had driven back out the way they'd come, but the other had turned the opposite way and was following the route around the farm. Lev got out and crouched low to examine the tire tracks. He recognized the tread on one of the vehicles. The same truck had been parked on the ridge above Rikki's house.
The man had driven in, following a second vehicle, possibly a real estate agent, and then after the first vehicle left, he had waited for a while, presumably until whoever had come with him was gone. While he waited, the man had smoked the same brand that Rikki's stalker had smoked. Lev cast around looking for more evidence. He found what he was looking for just beyond the gate. Small burn circles in the grass. The stalker had been playing with fire again. This time, he'd been more creative. The circles were in a pattern.
Lev walked around the area, studying it from all angles. He had a continual map in his head and the arrangement of the circles seemed familiar, as if he'd seen the design before. If he was right, and he would bet his life on it that he was, the burned areas in the grass were a blueprint of Rikki's five acres, everything from the trees to the terraced gardens and the house itself. The arsonist had studied the topography of the farm, paying close attention to the five acres belonging to Rikki.
"What is it?" she called.
He straightened slowly. "I believe this man means to come after you again and he's planning an attack."
She didn't flinch. She kept her eyes on his face. "Are the others in danger?"
He shook his head. "I have no way of knowing for certain, but so far, his battle plans seem very concentrated on your immediate property." He climbed back into the truck. "Keep driving. You can see his tracks in the road. I need to see every place he's gone."
Rikki tightened her hands on the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white, the only sign of her agitation, but she drove slow and steady.
"He doesn't know about me," Lev murmured, trying to reassure her.
"He's got to know you're in the house," she argued, "He probably thinks you live with me. You're in as much or more danger than I am."
"I do live with you and he doesn't know a damn thing about me."
Her laughter was unexpected and unraveled a few of the knots in his belly. "I don't know a damn thing about you either, Lev, and you probably don't know much more than I do."
"It's coming back," he told her, his tone grim. His memory was definitely returning, and little of it was good. "And anyone stalking you is in for a nightmare." He wasn't a passive man. He didn't believe in waiting for the enemy to strike. He struck first and hard, and ended the war before it ever began, but he didn't think it necessary to tell her that.
He noted a high chain-link fence starting. "And does this fence actually surround your entire farm?"
"Not the entire three-hundred-plus acres," Rikki said. "We don't have that kind of money, even with all of us pooling our resources. The fence surrounds the main part of the farm where we grow food and herbs. The orchards aren't fenced either."
She turned onto a dirt road. "We're on our property now. We keep this road up ourselves. Lexi can handle a tractor or a backhoe like a pro. She's amazing."
"She's very young. Did she grow up on a farm?"
Rikki stiffened and stared straight ahead, compressing her lips. It was more than obvious that the sisters didn't talk about one another. She might tell Lev whatever he wanted to know about herself, a rare thing for her, but she would never disclose her chosen sisters' pasts to anyone else--not even to him. And maybe especially not to him.
Lev didn't press her. She was being unreasonably kind and generous to him. He'd never met anyone like Rikki before, and he wasn't about to push her to reveal anything she was uncomfortable with. He'd been making conversation with her, trying to get more of a feel for the women she loved.
"It doesn't matter, lyubimaya. Keeping your sister's confidence is far more important than answering."
"It's just that I feel that each of us has a right to decide who knows us to that extent. I'm telling you things about myself I've only told them, but I'm giving that to you with no strings. I'm okay with being different. I'm not hiding it from you or anyone else. I like my life, Lev. In fact I'm very happy with it. I'm choosing to share with you because I want to."
He touched her face, his fingers trailing over her soft skin, her high cheekbones and stubborn chin. "If you're trying to tell me that you don't need me or any other man in your life, I'm well aware of it. I'm saying I need you."
He should have been hesitant, or even embarrassed or ashamed to admit it to her, but he wasn't. It was now or never. Sink or swim. Live as a human being, or die in the void that had been his life. He wanted out. And Rikki was his savior. He felt it with every fiber of his being.
There was little left of his humanity, just this one small piece that he was handing into her keeping. If she took it, if she chose to allow him to build a new life around her, there was a chance for him. It wasn't what the experts or the storybooks said was a good or healthy relationship, but it was all there was for someone like him. He needed one human being to see him. He could only afford one. Some higher power had chosen Rikk
i. Fate. Whatever. It didn't matter--all that mattered was that he had been offered a chance and he was determined to grab it with both hands.
Rikki's smile was slow in coming. "Men like you don't need women like me, Lev. Or any woman, for that matter."
"You're exactly what I need." The pad of his thumb stroked over her lips. "You're all that I need. I've told you I won't lie to you and I meant lit."
Rikki took her eyes off the road long enough to look at him. He could see she was skeptical and maybe a little confused. She shook her head and turned her attention back to her driving. "We're coming up on the back gate and paved road now. This leads through the orchards to the main part of the acreage Lexi farms. We have olive trees over there. We don't have our own press yet, but we're part of a co-op that owns a press together."
"This operation is enormous."
Her face lit up. "It's pretty awesome. The farm was in ruins when we took over. You should have seen us out there putting up all the fences and building the homes. Lexi mostly took care of the orchards and began planting crops. We have an amazing greenhouse where we grow all year round. The weather here is too cold for most things during the winter months."
As if hearing her, the wind picked up and the sky darkened as clouds blew overhead, rolling and churning, heavy with rain. Rikki glanced up and her hands relaxed on the steering wheel. The road widened and he caught a glimpse of a large house off to his left.
"Whose place is that?"
"That's actually the communal area. We have a gym for working out and a meditation center. Lissa has been working on a training area that's really nice. You might like to use it if you do that sort of thing."
He wanted to smile. Sometimes she was like sunshine with her quirky little ways and the things she said or thought. "He drove through your farm, Rikki. How did no one see him?"
"It's a big place and most of us aren't home during the day, only Lexi, and she could have been any where."
They were silent as she drove back to her house and parked the truck. Lev watched her check the ground around the house and each of the windows, taking her time as drops of rain began to fall. She lifted her face to the sky and smiled, holding out her hands as if in welcome. She stood there, focused on the drops, lost in the beauty of individual beads. He found himself caught up in her magic, the childlike awe in her face, her expression one of absolute wonder.
He couldn't help himself, he reached out telepathically, wanting to share the moment with her, needing to feel what she was feeling. Awareness burst through him, soothing, calming--he marveled at such perfection, at the actual feel of cool water on warm skin. He was astonished at the myriad of sensations pouring over and into him. The sky glittered with diamond tears, each more perfect than the last, each one multifaceted. For a moment he was caught up in a fascination with nature, just as she was. He'd never noticed raindrops in detail, nor had he ever paid attention to how they felt on his skin.
There was a sensual feel to the pattern of drops, or maybe he was so connected to her that, as usual, when he was close to her, his body came alive. Even that was amazing to him--the fact that he could become full and hard without willing himself to do so. Wrapped in the fresh scent of the rain, he stood beside her and lifted his face to watch the wonder of the drops as they came toward him from the sky. They were crystal prisms bursting over his skin like tongues.
This is incredible.
His mind brushed against hers, an intimacy deeper than anything he'd ever known. His left palm itched and without thinking he lifted his hand and rubbed the center with his stubbly beard. Rikki gasped and swung around to face him, breaking the spell of the raindrops. Her eyes were wide with shock.
He stared into her eyes, those dark pools of mystery that intrigued him so much, and then she turned away from him abruptly to unlock the door and let him in. She stepped way back to allow his entry, but as he strode past her, he brushed his hand over her hair. He loved those shiny sun streaks in all that thick, dark hair. She always looked as if the sun had kissed the top of her head, something he seemed to have the impulse to do quite regularly.
It was a strange thing to look into his past, a black void of duty and discipline, to see the seamiest side of the world, to accept his fate, to know he was trained to kill. Never in those years had he considered any other way of living. In fact, the worse the crimes he witnessed, the more he was determined to rid the world of its corrupt and ugly underbelly. He never once thought himself part of that world. He never considered that he might be doing wrong. He followed his orders and he carried them out without question. It was almost as if he had awakened there in the sea, there in the depths of her eyes, as corny as that sounded to him.
Something had changed inside of him and he'd been reborn. His handlers would come, and if they realized he was still alive, they would never stop until they found him. Sid Kozlov had to remain buried at sea, and the new Levi Hammond had to have a past that could stand up to any scrutiny. He stroked his developing beard thoughtfully. Facial hair and a fisherman's wardrobe would add a layer of protection. If he worked out at sea and remained a recluse as much as possible, laying low for a long time until Hammond was established, he would have a chance at life.
He put the case on the kitchen table in plain sight of Rikki. He wasn't going to hide anything from her. There had to be one person in the world he trusted enough to give his last shred of humanity to. If she couldn't accept him, there would be no one else. Behind him Rikki locked the door and leaned against it, her gaze steady, focused on him and not the case.
Lev studied the lock. It appeared to be intact and with no scratches on it. He crouched low to get eye level. He could hear Rikki breathing, slow and steady, but she didn't move or make any other sound. She simply waited.
He punched in the code and slowly lifted the lid. There was cash, stacks of it, all in American money. Beneath the money were passports and a kit for making additional identities. He put them all aside to reveal two sets of casual clothes. Beneath the clothes were more weapons as well as a small laptop.
"You know how to pack," Rikki observed, her tone strictly neutral.
He glanced at her as he carefully inspected each weapon before gathering them all together and transporting them to the bedroom. Rikki stepped forward and peered into the briefcase, her hands behind her back, that familiar little frown on her face. Lev found himself smiling all over again as he returned and gently but firmly moved her out of his way by lifting her and placing her a foot to one side.
"You might think about food," he said.
"You might think about putting that money in the bank," she countered. "Someone is going to rob you."
He tossed a grin at her over his shoulder. "Who would that be, Rikki? No one knows about the money."
"Me. I'm going to rob you. I happen to have a bedroom filled with weapons. I think I could take you," she added, still staring at the money.
He laughed softly. "I'll spare you the trouble. If you want it, it's yours. I've got at least four more briefcases stashed with the same sum in them and a bank account I've directed money to for years. I'm damn good on a computer, Rikki. When I've come across major corporate conspiracies, I've managed to redirect the cash flow without anyone being able to trace it."
She swallowed hard. "You stole money."
"From criminals." Usually before he exterminated them. "And I received hefty paychecks for certain assignments." Ones he would tell her about if she asked, but he sure wasn't volunteering information. He indicated the money. "Take it if you want it. You certainly have shared with me."
She shook her head and stepped back. "Don't joke about things like that. I'm going into the living room."
It was his turn to frown. He followed her as far as the doorway. She sank down into her favorite chair and began to rock slowly back and forth. He doubted if she was even aware of it. His first instinct was to go to her and kneel down so that he could look into her eyes and see what she was thinking, but with the wa
y she was holding herself, he feared she was already on overload and needed some space.
They hadn't really been apart for very long since she pulled him out of the ocean. He thought he would have difficulties spending so much time with someone when he'd never done it, yet something had happened to him there in the sea. She was struggling to integrate him into her life and it was obvious that change wasn't her forte. He went into the bedroom and found her weighted blanket. She didn't move or look at him while he tucked it around her, but some of the tension went out of her. He stepped back out of the room and left her alone.
He'd never been in a situation where he was unsure of himself. He knew she was drawn to him and their connection was getting stronger, but she was still reluctant at the thought of sharing her peaceful haven with anyone else. He couldn't blame her; giving up hard-won peace for someone like him was a lot to ask.
He stood over the briefcase, staring down into its contents. Too many names. Which one, if any, was really him? He'd been born Lev Prakenskii, but that boy had disappeared long ago. He should never have given his name as Lev, a distinctly foreign name. He'd told Rikki the truth--they would send someone to confirm his death and he'd left a loose end. Someone--Ralph--had seen Rikki put him in her truck the day the yacht sank. He could try to "push" the memory, but as a rule, sea urchin divers were mavericks, freethinkers, nonconformists, and that made suggestions difficult. Rikki hadn't responded to his occasional push.
Ralph worked off the platform for a processing company. If he wasn't a diver, Lev had a chance of making it work. Or he could just kill him. He pressed his fingers to his eyes. How could one shed an old life by starting the new one with the death of an innocent? He swore under his breath. The briefcase brought up a lot of memories he'd rather forget. If he was any kind of a man, he'd walk away from her and leave her untouched by the life he led, but he'd had a taste of freedom, a glimpse of a kind of paradise, and he wanted it so much he couldn't find the strength to walk away.
He hid the stacks of money in several places and secreted a passport and ID with each stash. His radar went off as he was putting his jeans in her closet. Someone was approaching the house. He stuck his head into the living room. "Rikki? We're about to have company."