“I’m sorry, malen’kiy smerch . For the first time in my life, when Drake Donovan laid the plan out for us, I felt like we were part of something worthwhile. I might still have to live dirty, but we’re cleaning up the worst of the criminal lairs. That’s what we do, Ashe, and I’m proud to be a part of it. Coming from a lair that was so violent and vile, seeing the cruelty of men driven by killer leopards, I felt shame at who I was, at what I was. Drake gave us a sense of purpose. He made us feel that those years we had behind us, years of being forced to do our father’s bidding, would finally be of help to someone, maybe make up for some of the shit things we had to do.”
Ashe leaned into him and brushed a kiss along the heavy muscles of his chest. “I’m not certain I understand what you mean. You told me, but tell me again. Make me understand so I feel that the two of us staying here, living with the cops coming at us and enemies everywhere, is worth it. You’re worth it, but I have to know that the things you do are worth it as well.”
She hadn’t pulled away, and that gave him a sense of relief. She didn’t react until she had all the information, and he loved her all the more for that. She’d need that a lot with him.
“Drake’s idea was to take out the worst of the criminal leopards from the inside. Elijah Lospostos, like me, was born into a world of violence and crime. He inherited the mantle but didn’t want it. By the time he realized it was impossible to get out, he’d met Drake Donovan. Drake runs an agency that goes anywhere in the world and retrieves kidnap victims. He also works with Jake Bannaconni to take down the worst criminals.” He would explain it to her over and over until she understood what they were trying to do.
Ashe frowned. “If you’re already working undercover, you could at least go to someone in law enforcement …” When he shook his head, she rubbed her finger along his jaw. “It’s a way out, Timur. For all of you. At least the cops would be off your backs.”
“That would be too risky. Sooner or later someone would be on a payroll and we’d be running for our lives. This way, we’re in a close-knit group. We have to rely on one another. That group is growing faster than we anticipated. We were only supposed to go after leopards. The world of shifters has different rules than human law, and we handle the criminals accordingly, but now, it seems as if we have to make a decision whether or not to include humans we know are particularly ruthless and just plain fucked-up.”
“Like Ulisse and his human trafficking.”
He nodded, watching her closely, his heart pounding, adrenaline racing through his veins.
She bit down on her lower lip, her lashes fluttering against her cheek. “It’s even more dangerous than if you were a criminal, Timur.”
“I am a criminal, Ashe. The friends you’re going to have will be the wives of the men I trust. Our children will play with their children. There will always be bodyguards and guns and me telling you or the kids no to something you want to do.”
She seemed more committed now, and interested, as if she was trying to figure out a way to help him, to help them all and find where she might fit in their world. She asked him questions, dozens of them, and he answered as honestly as he could. He found her interest settled him just a little more.
Ashe rose up on her elbows, looking him straight in the eye. “You’re not just staying for your brother, are you, Timur? I need to know absolutely that you’re committed to me, that if you had a choice, you’d go with me far from this life.”
He had to think about that. Would he leave Fyodor? Would he leave his life here? What would he do? He wasn’t capable of doing many other things. “I’m absolutely committed to you, Ashe,” he acknowledged. Those, he knew, were the truest words he’d ever spoken. “As for the leaving this life and my brother, I honestly don’t know. If I had to choose, I would choose you every single time. I’m not staying just for him. But if we left, we would be hunted for the rest of our days by both sides. More, this is my only chance to make a difference, to hopefully make something good come out of the bad I was born into.”
He watched her closely to see her reaction. Ashe nodded her head. “Thank you. It was important to me that you told me the truth.”