“I want to.” He began unbuttoning his shirt.
My heart started to race. Like, sprinting. “What are you doing?” I thought he said we weren’t going to take this step yet. But I couldn’t help but stare at his chest that, with each undone button, was becoming more and more visible to me. Mmm. Like, so yummy. Holy, holy, holy. I didn’t know what his workout regimen was like, but hello. His chest was a beautiful sight of defined muscle and lay-your-head-on hair. I wanted to reach out and touch it.
“I meant what I said,” his voice drew my eyes upward. “You’re safe with me.” He slid his shirt off.
I wasn’t sure I was safe from the thoughts stirring around in my mind. I reached out and brushed my fingers along his broad shoulders. I loved the feel of his skin. I loved how it raised under my touch. “You’re beautiful, inside and out. Thank you, Jonah.”
“Don’t thank me for behaving like a decent human being. Contrary to popular belief, men can control themselves. Though,” he leaned in and kissed my forehead, “you do make it difficult.”
I breathed in his intoxicating breath that lingered between us. “The feeling is mutual. So, where do you want that tattoo?”
He leaned away. “I want it to say, Fly with me. And I want it here.” He pointed to his heart.
My eyes filled with tears thinking of my own tattoo, Sometimes you have to fall before you can fly. I felt like I had been falling forever, trying to find my wings. I rested my hand on his good heart. More than anything, I wanted to keep it. Keep him.
He covered my hand with his own. “Fly with me, Ariana.”Chapter Twenty“Tell me what you’ve learned this past week,” Dr. Morales said in her soothing voice.
I curled my legs under me on the comfy white chair across from her. It had been quite the week. I had learned Jonah looked fabulous with a tattoo, which didn’t surprise me at all. But I didn’t think Dr. Morales wanted to hear about the “Fly with me” tattoo that I’d adorned with two turtle doves since they were known for their lasting bonds and all things Christmas.
“Um . . .” I tucked some hair behind my ear. “Well, I hate my mom,” I reluctantly admitted. “I mean, I love her too, but I hate her.”
Dr. Morales leaned forward. “You feel guilty about that.”
“Shouldn’t I? She’s my mother, after all.”
“Just because someone gives birth to you doesn’t mean they automatically deserve your loyalty, though yours is admirable.” She smiled. “This is good.”
“It’s good that I hate my mother?”
“It’s good that you recognize it. But you will feel better when you own it and let it go.” She wrote some notes. “Were you able to share these feelings with anyone this week?”
“Yes, Jonah.”
Dr. Morales’s head popped up. “Jonah. Interesting choice for your safe person.”
“Why?”
“I just find it interesting that you would choose someone who is so recently back in your life, someone you have conflicted feelings about. Why him?”
I rubbed my lips together. “I guess because I want him to know the truth, and I love him.”
“Does he know that?”
“I’ve never said it.”
“Why?”
“Because then he can hurt me.”
Dr. Morales nodded. “I see.” She thought for a moment. “When you were a child, did you often feel helpless?”
“All the time. I felt like no one could or would save me.”
“You wanted your father to save you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you see Jonah as a father figure?”
“Not at all. He’s not like that.”
“Tell me more about him.”
I thought she wanted me to explore my past before I thought about my future, but I guess choosing Jonah to be my safe person said I was already skipping ahead. Maybe that wasn’t a good thing. “Was it wrong for me to choose Jonah as my safe person?” I had to ask.
“Ariana, I’m not judging your choices. The reasons you chose him are valid ones, but you don’t need me to tell you that. It’s important that you’re confident in your choice.” She set her notes to the side. “So, tell me about Jonah.”
I wasn’t sure where to begin. “What do you want to know?”
“Whatever you want to tell me.” She leaned back and waited.
“Well, he’s a doctor. He’s divorced and has a daughter, Whitney.”
“You smiled when you said his daughter’s name. Why is that?”
Wow, this chick was invasive. “I like her. I like her a lot.”
“Does she like you?”
I nodded. “We have a good time together.”
“You spend a lot of time with her?”
“Yes. We see each other almost every day.”
“Where does her mother fit in the picture? Am I correct to assume that is Jonah’s ex-wife?”
I inadvertently squirmed in my seat. She tilted her head. “I’ve hit a nerve.” The dang doctor was observant.
I clasped my hands together and twisted them. “Eliza is Jonah’s ex-wife, and mother to Whitney.”