I had the sinking feeling she was getting ready to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. Again.
“This is amazing,” she said, walking through the house. “It’s so pretty.”
I looked at her then. She had a full, printed skirt on and a tank top. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. She looked casual, young, and so beautiful it cut me.
“Audrey.” She looked up at me. “I can’t do this. You have to tell me what’s going on with you.”
A shadow crossed her face. “James… let’s just get through today. There’s been so much going on.”
“Did you hear from your mother again?”
“No,” she said. “But I know I will.”
I reached out and grabbed her hand, pushing my wounded pride out of my way. “I’ll help you with her. You know I will.”
She smiled at me, but she pulled her hand back quickly. “I have to do it myself.”
I sighed in frustration. “Is this the cowboy thing again?”
“Sort of.” She stepped back. It was as if there was some sort of chasm in between us now. Even if I reached out, I wouldn’t be able to get to her.
“I’m going to go check out the rest of the place and take a quick shower,” she said. And just like that, she was gone.
The butler buzzed then, bringing in the booze I’d requested. His timing was the one upside thus far today. The only one.
* * *
Ten minutes later, Audrey called to me from the bedroom. I went in, gripping my bourbon. I wasn’t sure if I was going to get Jekyll or Hyde right now.
I stopped short when I went into the room. She was nak**ed on the bed, her glorious body spread before me. “I know you said you didn’t want my services anymore.” She looked up at me and ran her hand down herself, skimming her bre**asts. Her nipp**les were hard and erect. “Would you reconsider?”
I just looked at her, dumbfounded. I took another swig of bourbon.
This was going to be a long day.
“Are you f**king kidding me, Audrey?”
She sat up immediately, as if she were surprised by my tone. “No.”
“You think I want to have sex with you? Right now? After the way you’ve been acting?”
She crossed her hands in front of her chest, trying to cover her nak**edness. “I thought… I thought it would make it better. Like we could get back to what this was supposed to be.” She looked up at me defiantly. “Services requested and services rendered. You’re paying for it, remember?”
A cold rage descended on me, and I had to fight to calm myself. I wanted to throw the glass I was holding; I wanted to hear it shatter and smash. But I stopped myself. One of us had to act like an adult.
“Audrey,” I said, trying to keep my voice under control. “Do you feel as if I’ve mistreated you?”
Now a blush started to creep up her neck. She grabbed the comforter and pulled it around her, as if to shield herself from me. I thought I saw a flash of sadness or regret in her eyes, but it was only there briefly. “No,” she said. Her voice was strained, like she was trying to keep it even.
“Then why are you doing this to me?” I asked.
She winced then. “I’m not doing this to you, James. I’m doing it for you.” It looked as if she might cry, but she was still trying to sound defiant.
“Audrey,” I said, “what the f**k does that even mean?”
Her face crumbled then and she looked sad, defeated. “I meant what I said last night. About loving you,” she said, miserably. “But I wish I didn’t.”
I sat down on the bed heavily. I took another sip of my drink and looked at her wounded face. She was clutching the necklace again and I took that as a sign. A sign to be brave.
“Well, it would suck if you didn’t mean it,” I said. “Because I love you, too.”
She didn’t look at me. She just reached over and grabbed my hand, holding on for dear life.
* * *
“Jesus, Audrey,” I said, cradling her on my lap. “You don’t have to cry.”
“But I do,” she wailed, blowing her nose as she rested against my chest.
“The fact that we’re in love,” I said, savoring the way the words felt on my lips, “that’s a good thing. Not something to get hysterical over.” I ran my hands down her back, thrilled and relieved to have her back in my arms, the walls between us finally coming down.
“But you can’t love me back,” she said, blowing her nose again, “It’s going to ruin everything.”
“In what screwed-up universe does this ruin everything?”
“In yours,” she said. “Your screwed-up universe. No wait—mine.”