He took a sip, then glanced back at me. "Beverage?"
I walked toward the bar. "What are you drinking?"
"Forty-year-old Scotch."
I whistled. That couldn't have been cheap, and it probably didn't bode wel for the House that he'd cracked it.
Ethan didn't show fear often. That he was worried now about what the GP might do made my stomach flutter with nerves. He was supposed to be the House's rock; the rock wasn't supposed to be nervous.
"No, thanks," I said, crossing my arms and leaning against the cabinets. "What now?"
"Contingency planning," he said darkly. "We have some backup plans in place, and if the House isn't long for GP membership, they'l need executing soon. Malik and I are going to finalize them."
"The GP hasn't done us any favors lately. Is it such a bad thing if we're gone?"
He didn't answer, and he wouldn't meet my gaze.
I guessed it was worse than I'd thought. "Tel me."
He took another sip. "The GP's general philosophy is that if we are not aligned with them, we are against them."
"That doesn't make any sense. There are Rogue vampires in Chicago. I haven't heard Noah mention any kind of GP harassment."
Noah Beck was the unofficial leader of Chicago's un-Housed vampires; he was also a member of the Red Guard, like me and Jonah.
"For now, it's only a cold war," he said. "The GP believes Rogue vampires wil sabotage the Houses; the Rogues believe the Houses exist solely to perpetuate the more fascist tendencies of the GP. The current peace isn't the usual state of affairs."
"So the GP might actualy attack us?"
"Should circumstances cal for it, yes. Both the GP and the Houses within it."
"Even Sheridan House? You made Lacey Sheridan a Master.
She's from Cadogan House, and her aliance insignia is hanging over our front door." Also, Lacey Sheridan had a crush - or more - on Ethan, which made it unlikely she'd take up arms against him.
Glass in hand, Ethan walked to one of the club chairs in the seating area and leaned against it. "Haven't you ever wondered why we bear other Houses' aliance insignia if we're al members of the GP? It's a promise not to take up arms in the event worse comes to worst - or the GP orders them to act."
"Good grief," I said, moving to the chair beside him. No wonder Jonah had joined the RG.
Ethan finished his glass. "Vampires existed long before the GP was formed, and they wil exist long after it's gone. We can survive. We just might need to remind our Housed brothers and sisters of that."
And some would take more convincing than others. "Morgan wil be a terror."
"Quite possibly. Scott Grey, less so."
And Scott's crew, including the RG member masquerading as a guard captain, even less than that. But that wasn't information Ethan needed right now.
"Maybe we should beat the GP at its own game," I suggested.
"How do we do that?"
"We could jump ship."
He laughed mirthlessly. "The vampires of Cadogan House do not 'jump ship.' "
"Not even if they get dumped?"
"Not even if," he said. "What's the phrase? You should dance with the one who brought you?"
"Not if you found out the one who brought you made out after third period with the head of the chess club, who was totaly not as cute as you." I felt my cheeks warm. "But that's a personal issue we don't need to discuss here. The thing is, we can do better. If they don't want us, we find someone who does."
He chuckled a little, and I felt the wal of tense magic in the room crumble a bit.
"He said he wants to interview you. Do you think he can be convinced to back off?"
"I don't know. Darius would prefer an official House policy of 'shut the f**k up,' which we aren't particularly skiled at. I hardly think he'd waste time on interviews if they weren't for a purpose, but I can't imagine him standing down a decision of the shofet."
"Are you going to tel the House?"
"I doubt it. I'm not sure there's any point in raising a flag until the decision is firm and final."
Until then, we'd al have to wait and see what happened, which wasn't a comfortable position for anyone. And speaking of which, for the sake of my own sanity, it was time to discuss the thing we were steadfastly avoiding...
"Are we okay?" I asked.
Ethan brushed a lock of hair over my shoulder. I glanced at him, but when our eyes met, he froze and looked away.
My stomach twisted. Now he wouldn't touch me at al?
"I can't have you. Not now."
I could hardly form words. "What? Is this about the bruise?"
He stood up straight. "The mark I put on your body because I was upset? Yes, Sentinel, it is about that."
"That wasn't you," I insisted. "It only happened because of Malory, because she was close and upset and her emotions were affecting you."
"And we're back in Chicago together," he said. "She's close enough. What if she's upset? What if she becomes angrier than she's been before? What if a bruise is the least harm I could do?"
I understood his point, understood wel the risk he was trying to avoid. But he'd saved my life twice. I trusted him implicitly, and not because I feared him or what he might do. "I'm not afraid of you."
"You should be." Ethan walked back to the bar and put his glass on the counter, putting space - an obstacle - between us.
After a moment, he turned around, and his eyes had gone cold.
My stomach did the same.
"I've been thinking..."
"That's dangerous," I lightly said, but he didn't laugh.
"I think we should halt our personal relationship for the time being. Until we resolve things with Malory."
My heart fel to my knees, and I found I couldn't speak a single word. This couldn't be happening. Not after al we'd been through. Not after I'd lost him and found him again.
"And if things aren't ever resolved with Malory? If you can't ever be one hundred percent sure that you're free of her? What then?"
He looked up at me, and he didn't answer.
Apparently, four hundred years did a lot of damage to a man's psyche, and Ethan's defense mechanism was to throw up barriers to every emotion he didn't care to feel. A few months ago, I'd have walked away from this conversation, and from him. I'd have taken the emotional punch like a trouper and left the room without a parting shot. But he was facing down a demon of his own making, and I wasn't going to help him with the ilusion.
I fought back tears. "You'd just give me up?"