Still, I let him hold me and comfort me because, ironically, he is the only person who can.
“Shhhhh…. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about all of it. When I told you, I was indebted to you, I meant it. Our fates were sealed before we were even thought of…”
“But—”
“No, but, Amara. Neither of us knew what was happening. I hurt you after you saved my life, and even if John wasn’t your father, I know there is a part of you who loves him regardless, and I ripped that part of you to shreds. I let my anger and my need for blood get in the way of it all. Even if he deserved to die, I shouldn’t have done it that way.” Regret is rooted deeply in his voice, but it’s not enough.
“How can we move on? So much chaos, lies, and betrayal have taken place,” I mumble my words into his chest. His body is warm, encasing me in a protective shell. In his arms, I feel right at home as if this is where I’ve always belonged.
“I’m going to go call my dad,” Jared says, dismissing himself. I didn’t look up to say anything, not even a thank you. I’m not sure if I could ever thank him for freeing the secrets that would tear me apart only to build me back up.
“What do we do now? Where do we go from here? This cluster-fuck we call life is falling to pieces before our eyes. You have lost your whole family to death, as have I. Are we next? Is this all we live for? Revenge? Hate? Anger?” I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Enzo adjusts his hold on me, pushing me at arm’s length so one of his hands can cup the side of my face.
“If anyone has taught me life is more than just death—it’s you. Life is so much more than what I thought it was. I was simply going through the motions, breathing the air, and waiting until the last moment when my heart would stop beating. We can overcome all of this.”
I want to believe him so badly, want to forgive and forget, but it’s not that simple.
“I need time. I need sleep. I need to be alone.”
I want Enzo, but I need to piece this puzzle together. I need to figure this out on my own before bringing him back into the picture. I need to know where he and I fit in it—if we fit in it together at all.
“Okay, that’s fine. Just tell me you’re okay. Tell me no one hurt you while you were being hidden. Tell me everything inside of here is going to be okay,” he says, pointing to my heart.
Placing his lips against my forehead, he whispers, “I know I’ve hurt you. I put your life in danger. I abused your trust. I almost got us both killed numerous times. I threatened your life back at your childhood home, and I want you to know it killed me to hurt you. It rips me apart inside. Your heartbeat is my own. Your voice is my own. Your fears are my own. You’re mine, and I will never do anything to jeopardize that again.”
His words are beautiful and heartfelt, and the tears burn down my cheeks as I pull from his touch. I need to get my bearings on everything, and no matter how much I want to believe his words, right this second, I can’t.
Getting up, I turn around and walk down the hall to the room I was brought to when I first arrived. The moment I close the door, the tears, the pain, and the earth-shattering realization hit me.
This is my life now.8Enzo“Fuck,” I say harshly, my fist hitting the table hard. I don’t want to start breaking shit or hurting anyone, but I can’t handle the emotions running through me.
“Is everything okay?” Jared asks, concerned as ever. He is always fucking concerned. However, now his concerns are real. I’m dating his half-sister, or am I? From her words mere moments ago, I’m beginning to think we have nothing between us anymore. Then again, if I were just thrown into the shit-storm she was, I would be doing a whole lot more than just needing time.
“Everything is just fan-fucking-tastic,” I scoff, slamming back a gulp of the whiskey sitting in front of me. I need a drink about as badly as I need Amara’s sweet lips against mine.
“I take that as she didn’t take it nearly as well as I thought she would.” He is joking... or trying to. It’s a shame Amara has been caught up in all of this. I’ve taken the sweet, shy, and innocent woman I loved and morphed her into a broken angel. She is broken, and it’s all my fault. I want to blame John so badly for all of this, but I know I’m the one who caused her the real pain.