He stiffened. “My vampires will always follow me.”
“In the past they have, yeah. But you know as well as I do that they will only continue to do that if you continue being someone they respect. Refusing to give your approval to Antonio’s Heir…That’s not exactly admirable behaviour, Rick.”
He inhaled deeply, as if seeking for calm. “It is Ricardo. And as you said, I am entitled to my opinion.”
“Yes, you are. But it would be wise of you to keep that opinion to yourself and to allow them to decide for themselves what they want to do. They’ve been obedient so far, but they’re not a flock of sheep, they’re people with their own minds. This is a very delicate and important matter. Many of them respect Antonio and Jared. I doubt that they’ll want to offend them by leaving before the ceremony. That is what you have every intention of doing, isn’t it?”
He studied me through narrowed eyes. “You are very perceptive.”
“I’m not going to tell anyone about your plan to leave, if that’s what you’re wondering. To be frank, I couldn’t care less if you scuttle off in the day when everyone’s asleep, or whether you dance a bloody jig after the ceremony is done. But you should have a long think before you ask your entire bloodline to leave with you. Yep, they have you to protect them. But what if something happened to you in the future, what then?” I rose from my chair. “I know what it’s like to have no one to turn to. Don’t put them through that.” Then I left him standing there alone, hoping he made the right choice.
Instinctively, I made my way to Jared, who was in a corner with his twin. On hearing Evan’s words, I halted a footstep away.
“I went. To the funeral, I mean.”
As the twins had their backs to me, I stayed where I was, hoping to hear more before Jared sensed me.
“I knew what you meant.” Jared’s tone was flat, lifeless.
“But then I asked myself what the hell I was doing there, and I came straight back.”
Jared frowned at him. “You had every reason and right to go.”
“No. No, I didn’t. How could I pay my respects to someone that I didn’t respect? I don’t like the way people think that we’re supposed to love our parents simply because they’re our parents. If they didn’t live up to their end of the deal, why should we live up to ours?”
“She was good to you.” I’d never heard Jared’s voice sound so small before. He almost seemed…lost – a total first for him. It made my chest ache.
“Not for the right reasons, but it took me a while to see that.” Evan shook his head. “I honestly don’t know how you can’t hate me just a little.”
Jared chuckled, though there didn’t seem much humour in it. “That was one thing she never succeeding in doing, wasn’t it? Causing a divide between me and you proved too much, even for her.”
“I know how you think, so I’m pretty sure you’ve felt bad that you didn’t go to the funeral. Yes, she was our mother, but she didn’t act like one. What I’m trying to say is that you aren’t harsh for not going. I just want you to know that.”
“I don’t feel bad for not going. I feel bad that I don’t feel bad…if that even makes sense.”
“Don’t feel bad. You shouldn’t. She doesn’t deserve the satisfaction. She’ll be looking up at this, laughing in delight, so stop.”
When Jared raised a brow questioningly, his twin shrugged.
“Yeah, she was good to me,” he allowed, “but she’s burning in hell for sure.” Both then chuckled, and turned. When Jared’s eyes landed on me, they instantly narrowed. I could tell by his expression that he knew I’d been eavesdropping, and he wasn’t happy about it.
Evan smiled widely. “Hey there, calmed down yet?”
“No. That’s why I still have this.” I held up the chopstick.
“The look on Magda’s face when you dived at her…Priceless.” A nudge from one of the Master Vampires made Evan turn.
As I looked up at my fiancé, I sighed. “You’re never going to tell me about your mother, are you?” I’d heard the strain in his voice, sensed the pain and anger he felt at merely thinking about her.
Jared’s face hardened. “I’ve said I will, and I will. Just not until after the Binding.”
“But when after the Binding? A month later, a year later, ten?”
“Sam, I told you—” He stopped on hearing Antonio call his name. “I’ll be back in a minute.” But we both knew he wouldn’t.
Laughing, Evan turned away from the vampire and double-blinked at the empty space beside him. “Where’d he go?”
“Do you mean physically or mentally?”
Evan’s expression morphed into one of concern. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s shutting me out again, the bastard.” There was no venom in my voice because a part of me felt sorry for him. But apparently there was enough frustration that Evan decided to subtly lead me out of the room and into the ballroom adjacent to it.
The second the door was closed, he pressed, “What do you mean, shutting you out? Don’t tell me you guys are letting Magda get to you. I really thought you were both coping pretty well with that.”
“We are. Sort of. But that’s not what this is about anyway.”
“Then, what?”
“Answer me something. Is it a lot to ask him to talk to me about your mother, about why he wouldn’t go to the funeral? If it truly is, I’ll let this go. For now. But if it’s not, tell me so that I can kick him up the arse and make him tell me. This isn’t about my curiosity anymore. I heard his voice when he spoke of her, I heard him say he’s feeling bad. I want to help him. He won’t let me.”
Evan ran a hand through his hair, looking like he would rather be anywhere but there with me at that very moment. “You can’t understand what our mom was like, Sam.”
“Then help me understand. He won’t tell me anything, Evan. I just want to be there for him.”
There was a long pause before he finally spoke. “If this was any other subject, I’d tell you to go to Jared, I wouldn’t get involved. But this is a sore subject for him. I’m pretty sure he’d have told you eventually, but not now. And now is when he needs to talk about it, whether he likes it or not.”