Not this time. Mateo was in pain, and my insecurities paled in comparison to his anguish.
He had encouraged me to lean on him for support numerous times. He’d held me and coaxed me to confide in him about my cutting, reassuring me that my scars hadn’t ruined me forever. Even though I’d shut him out after that night, my internalized shame and disgust had abated.
Today, he’d revealed his own scars. It was my turn to prove that he could lean on me, too.
I got out of the car and hurried after him, walking through the doorway he’d left open for me. By the time I closed it, he’d already made his way into to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge.
“Hey,” I said softly, trying to call his attention to me.
He popped the cap and tipped the bottle back, draining half of it in one go.
I closed the distance between us and put myself firmly in his space. He didn’t so much as glance down at me.
I grasped his wrist when he raised the bottle to take another gulp. He could have resisted me with zero effort, but he froze as soon as I made contact.
“Mateo.” I said his name slowly, calmly demanding his attention. “Look at me.”
His black eyes snapped to mine, and I caught a flash of longing in their depths before his expression smoothed to something cold and hard.
I lifted my hand to his face, trying to ground him with my touch. When he’d held me after I’d been threatened, I’d been able to soothe him with tender contact.
He scowled and snatched my hand, forcing me away from him.
He’d lashed out at me while we’d been parked outside his rotting childhood home. I hadn’t flinched then, and I wouldn’t give up so easily now.
I reached for him with my free hand, but I barely brushed his cheek before he slammed his beer down on the counter and captured that wrist, too.
“Back off,” he growled.
I lifted my chin, meeting his dark glower head-on. “No.”
“No?” he repeated, a dangerous hiss.
“That’s right.” I defied him. This could earn me some consequences, but if that was the kind of interaction he needed right now, I was willing to engage. “No.”
He blinked, and his eyes went cold. Rather than reacting with aggression, he simply dropped my hands, turned from me, and walked away.
The familiar sting of rejection cut at my heart, but I resolutely followed him. I grabbed his corded forearm, but he kept walking, shaking me off like a gnat.
I darted around him, blocking his path and refusing to allow him to retreat from me.
“I know today wasn’t great,” I said firmly. “I’m not exactly thrilled about being held at knifepoint, and I don’t like that visiting your old neighborhood was so difficult for you. But don’t shut me out right now.”
His muscles tensed, his massive frame swelling to tower over me. “Move.”
“I know you’re upset, but—”
“I’m only upset because you won’t take a hint,” he barked over me. “I don’t want you in my space, Sofia.”
I pressed my lips together to prevent them from trembling. Tears burned behind my eyes, but I pushed through.
“Why are you being like this?” I demanded. “I thought you took me to your old neighborhood to win me back. Well, you did. I want to be with you, Mateo.”
“No, you don’t,” he snapped, his white teeth flashing like a predator baring its fangs. “The man you want to be with is a lie I created to lure you in. Returning to where I came from today reminded me who I truly am.”
I straightened my spine, standing my ground. “You might have been raised there, but you don’t belong in that place. Your life is better now. You’re better, even if you still do bad things for Adrián.”
His lips curved in a mocking smirk. “Bad things. You have no idea what I do for Adrián. You have no idea what I did to Ruiz and Medina.”
I shook my head. “You’re right. I don’t know. And I don’t want to know. I can’t change how you live your life, and I can’t change the fact that I was born into this nightmare, even though Daddy hid it from me. I understand that now. I understand it, and I still want to be with you.”
The cold smirk twisted into something harsher, meaner. “What your father says about me is true, Sofia. I’m an animal. I’m ruled by my base urges, and I take what I want. I wanted you. So, I manipulated you into choosing to accept that you’re mine. But you never had a choice. I claimed you for myself, and I never had any intention of letting you go.”
His words were icy, but his eyes glinted with a feverish light. He still wanted me, but he was pushing me away. I wasn’t certain which specific event today had triggered this change in him, but I resolved to persist.