“Y’all have a lot going on. Like, an insane amount by any standard. It’s way too much, Ford. Maybe you can push it a bit in the short term, but in the long run…no wonder y’all ran out of gas.”
I gulp my whiskey, fully aware that I’m guilty of the same crime I accused Eva of. Taking on too much. I’m a hypocrite, and that hurts.
“I just want everything to be perfect,” I say, as much to myself as to my brother. “I want Bryce to have a perfect childhood. I want to be the perfect boyfriend to Eva. I want to prove myself at the firm after being on the sidelines for so long. I’m a hard worker, Grey, and I take pride in that fact—”
“But you’ve totally, completely burned yourself out.”
“Yup,” I say, tugging at the scruffy skin on my throat. When was the last time I trimmed my beard? Lord knows.
“You and Eva were always alike in that way,” he replies. “Back in college, y’all were two overachiever peas in a pod. Don’t get me wrong, ambition can be a great thing—”
“I find Eva’s very sexy.”
“Julia’s ambition is a big turn on for me, too. But she’s much better at balancing it with real life than I am. You know, family. Friends. Rest. I’ve learned a lot about that over the past year thanks to her. Thanks to this one, too.” He tilts his head toward Parker. “I was miserable before. Now I’m not. I want the same for you, brother. I want you to be happy, too.”
“I’m trying,” I say lamely. “Failing pretty epically, though.”
“Look.” Grey leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’ve learned a lot since Parker’s been born. Granted, it’s only been a couple months. But we turned a major corner when he hit seven or eight weeks. Like a cloud’s suddenly lifted, you know?”
I grin, nodding. “I remember that moment. Bryce started sleeping in seven hour stretches. It was the best feeling ever.”
“Exactly. Baby’s sleeping. We’ve got him on a decent schedule we can kinda-sorta rely on. Julia’s feeling worlds better. Her nipples don’t feel like they’re going to fall off when she nurses him. Life is so much better than it was that first week when we brought him home.” He refills his own glass. Screws the cap back on the empty bottle. “At the time, it felt like we’d be in that special newborn hell forever. The days—and nights—were so damn long. But just when we thought we were going to break, it got better.”
“You’re right,” I say. “It does get better. Always.”
“If parenthood has taught me anything, it’s that everything comes in phases, and no phase lasts forever. You and Eva—you’re in a crazy busy phase right now. You’re learning the ropes at work after a three year hiatus. She just moved. She’s continuing to build her career in a challenging creative field. Y’all are trying to navigate a new relationship with a four-year-old kid in the mix—something neither of y’all have ever done before.”
I pull back. “When you put it like that, it does sound like a fuck ton.”
“Because it is, Ford. It won’t be this way forever. But right now, y’all are in the fire, big time. And when that’s the case, you need to simplify where you can. Recognize you’ve got a very full plate and say no. Say no to other people, and to each other. Bryce isn’t going to turn out to be a delinquent if she’s not involved in five million things. Eva isn’t going to dump your ass if date night looks like takeout and porn on the couch.”
“That actually sounds really nice.”
Grey nods. “Pretty sure Eva would say the same thing. Do you see what I’m getting at? Take things down a notch. Don’t put so much pressure on yourselves to make everything perfect, especially on the first try. Giving yourself the grace to slow down and fuck up is how you’ll get through this phase. Which I hope will be ending soon, by the way—I’ll be back at work in two weeks, which means I can take at least some of this shit off your plate.”
“I hear you. I said much the same to Eva just now. Although I have to admit, coming from you—the idea seems pretty damn insightful.”
Grey looks at me grimly. “Don’t sound so surprised. The past year has been transformative for me. Guess I want to share whatever wisdom I’ve gained. I don’t mean to compare myself to Oprah—”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
He grins. “But I think she and I would get along pretty damn well now that I’ve had my ass kicked several times over the course of the past decade.”
I let out a long, low breath. “Okay. So I’ll take my foot off the gas pedal a bit. Encourage Eva to do the same. Maybe then she’ll reconsider breaking up with me—she’ll reconsider her idea that she can’t balance work and parenthood.”