Andrei gazed off toward the stairs, weighing Ian’s words. “He seems pretty perfect already to me,” he murmured, more thinking aloud than actually talking to Ian.
“When he’s happy, he is.”
Andrei looked back at Ian. “And when he’s not?”
“Get a hose, because the world will burn.”
A smirk lifted half of Andrei’s mouth. “Thanks for the warning.”
Andrei watched Ian moving easily around Lucas’s kitchen, wiping off counters and drying the few pans and utensils he’d used while cooking. There was an easygoing air about him, as if he were completely content with life and the world flowing around him. Andrei had met too few people in life that exuded that kind of peace.
“Have you always been gay?” Andrei asked, the words tripping past his lips before he’d even realized they’d escaped. Andrei’s mouth dropped open in horror as the other man looked at him strangely. “Holy fuck,” Andrei groaned. “I can’t believe I just said that. I’m so sorry, man. I didn’t—”
Ian’s laughter rang through the open room. “I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know about always, but I’ve known for a long time.”
Andrei nodded, dropping his gaze down to the countertop. He didn’t know why he’d asked Ian that question. Or maybe he did but he certainly didn’t know how to keep going. Everything that he was feeling, everything in his life that surrounded Lucas Vallois, was now this tangled knot. Every time he tugged on one strand to untangle it, the whole ball tightened up, making the knot worse.
“But everything is new and confusing for you.” Ian leaned against the island opposite him, a dishtowel twisted in his hands. He shook his head. “You scream straight. I’m surprised Lucas has let anything happen.”
“He was…reluctant,” Andrei admitted and then gave a little shrug. “But I’ve been with men.”
Ian lifted one disbelieving brow. “We’re not talking about a quick fuck and then gone here. No, Lucas was your first kiss. Your first touch. He’s the first one to reach you in here.” Ian tapped his chest over his heart, smiling gently.
Andrei gave a jerky nod. He didn’t question why Ian could read him so well, he was just grateful that he could. “I just…It changes things. I had this idea of who I was and now I don’t know if that’s changed.”
“Because you’re attracted to a man?”
He shook his head. “No.” He stopped and clenched his teeth. It was almost painful to say the words, the embarrassment burning through him, but he needed to talk and damn it, he felt that Ian could understand a little. “It’s that I’m attracted to Lucas. He’s…”
“Beautiful,” Ian supplied and Andrei glared at him. That word went without saying. “But I think you mean that Lucas is one hundred percent pure alpha. He’s controlling and dictatorial. He’s dominant and there’s no way around that. It’s his comfort zone and I have a feeling it’s the only way he knows how to be.”
“Yes.”
“And you think there can be only one dominant in the bedroom.”
“Yes.”
“And you were sure that that was your role.”
Andrei lifted his eyes back to Ian’s face and nodded. He was holding the edge of the island so hard that his knuckles were turning white. Andrei had spent the majority of his childhood and too damned many of his teen years being bullied. He was nearly twenty before he finally gained real muscle bulk and dedicated his existence to fight training. Everything had driven him to being a professional fighter. It was his way of taking charge of his life, of stomping out the bullies. But the injury that took that future from him had left him floating the past three years. Had he lost everything that he’d been fighting for? Had he given up that power? That control?
Ian smiled at him. It wasn’t a look of pity but understanding. “I have two things to say to that.” He held up one finger, “First, submissive does not equal weak. You’ve got to get that stupid thought out of your head right now.” Reaching across the island, Ian tapped Andrei’s forehead twice hard. “If you choose to be submissive to Lucas’s dominant, do not think for one second that he will believe you to be weak. He trusts you with his life and he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t think you were a strong, capable person. Besides, Lucas Vallois doesn’t tolerate weak people in his life.”
“And second?” Andrei prompted, nearly giddy with the relief that was unwinding tense muscles through his body.
Ian’s smile became something sly and almost wicked, giving Andrei a glimpse of a totally different side of the man that seemed to be perpetually hidden beneath his sweet exterior. “With the right person, a submissive has just as much power in the bedroom as the dominant. In fact, I’d wager with the right person, a submissive can get a dominant to do whatever he wants.”