Skye rolled her eyes. “Why are all of you Sinclair men so stubborn?”
I answered morosely, “Because we only have one damn chance to be happy. We have to be persistent.”
“I agree,” Aiden rumbled. “But take it easy, Seth. The last thing you want to do is scare her away. I know how you are when you’re hotheaded and determined.”
“I’m not that bad,” I denied.
Aiden gave me a knowing look. “The hell you aren’t. Do you remember that time—”
“Don’t go there,” I warned.
My younger brother would probably go through every bit of my history if I’d let him, to prove his point.
“I was just going to offer up examples to jog your memory,” Aiden said nonchalantly.
“None needed,” I said through gritted teeth. “I better get going. It’s late.”
I knew they both had to be up in the morning. Their daughter, Maya, went to school pretty early.
“Stay if you need to talk,” Aiden said adamantly, his tone sincere.
“Yes, do,” Skye encouraged. “I’ll go to bed so I can get Maya up early, and you two can talk.”
I stood. “I’m good,” I assured them both. “I think I’ll take a run or a swim.”
I needed some kind of physical exercise to wear my ass out, or it would be another night that I’d spend staring at the ceiling, wondering what in the hell was up with Riley.
I’d leave it for tonight, but no promises about what would happen tomorrow.
Sure, I wanted to respect Riley’s request, but I couldn’t stop the gnawing concern that she needed me. Whether she wanted to reach out or not.
Aiden and Skye got to their feet. “You sure?” Aiden asked quietly.
“Yeah. I’m hardly going to beat her door down this time of night.”
Not saying I didn’t want to do that, but I wouldn’t.
It would probably scare the shit out of her.
“Call if you need me,” Aiden demanded.
“Absolutely,” I agreed.
Absolutely not!
By tomorrow, I’d be chomping at the bit to see Riley. It got worse every day. The last thing I wanted to hear was that I needed to keep waiting.
I noticed the concerned look on Aiden’s face.
Hell, I was grateful that all of my family was there when I needed them. Problem was . . . a voice of reason just wasn’t working for me right now.
Probably because I was far from thinking logically.
Skye hugged me tight, and Aiden slapped me on the back when she was done.
My nighttime run was extremely long, but even though I was exhausted, sleep still eluded me that night.
CHAPTER 29
RILEY
Bang! Bang! Bang!
I flinched at the pounding coming from my front door.
It was so loud that I could hear it from the kitchen.
“I know you’re in there, Riley.” Seth’s agitated, booming voice rang out just as loud as his insistent hammering did. “Open the damn door. You’ve been avoiding me for five days now. Something is wrong. I can feel it.” Seth’s voice was loud and angry.
I chewed on my bottom lip nervously as I weighed my options.
Answer the door?
Or ignore it?
I actually had been ducking Seth for the last five days, trying to put distance between the two of us. The only communication I’d made with him was a very short email asking him to back off for a while.
I couldn’t think when he was around, so I’d stayed home.
No more cozy dinners together.
No overnight stays.
I didn’t answer his emails.
Or his texts.
And I certainly didn’t answer the phone.
If I’m going to make a clean break, I have to rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with.
Seth deserved to hear what I had to say in person.
Truth was, I’d avoided him because I hadn’t been able to tell him the truth.
Unfortunately, that meant I’d spent days moping around in a state of depression and missing him so badly that it was killing me.
I’d gotten very little work done in the last several days, which wasn’t like me at all. I could work through almost any emotional state. God knew I’d done it many times.
That was before Seth.
Before I’d lost the ability to compartmentalize my emotions.
I turned off the dinner I’d been cooking on the stove and went to the door.
When I opened it, my heart sank to my feet.
Seth looked like he’d been to hell and back.
I could see the agitation and frustration so clearly on his weary face.
He was dressed in a pair of jeans and an old T-shirt, his hair sticking up on the top of his head like he’d raked his hands through it more than once.
Still, he looked so damn good to me that I wanted to throw myself into his arms so I could feel the heat and hardness of his incredible body.
I fought the compulsion with everything I had.
He strode through the door as he said, “What the fuck is wrong, Riley? You don’t answer your phone, emails, or texts. I was worried that something bad had happened to you.”
I closed the door. “I’m fine. I’ve just been . . . busy.”
Yep. I’d been totally occupied with getting through my depression about missing Seth like a piece of my heart had been clawed out of my chest.
Every day had gotten more difficult than the last.
He took me by the shoulders, none too gently. “Just tell me what I did. I don’t buy the bullshit that you’ve been too busy. We’ve never been too busy to see each other every damn day.”
I shrugged out of his hold. “Okay. Then I’ll tell you the truth. I don’t think we should see each other anymore, Seth. It’s just not working for me.”
“Why?” he asked. “What in the hell brought all this on?”
I shrugged as I walked into the living room. “I’ve just been thinking about it. I care a lot about you, but I don’t think we were meant to be together. We want . . . different things.”
“Since when?”
I plopped down on a chair because my legs didn’t feel like they would hold me anymore.
I felt like my entire life was ending.
And maybe it was, in many ways.
Seth had opened a whole gamut of emotions I’d never experienced before, and there was no way I’d ever be able to compartmentalize or bury them ever again.
I was completely, utterly, no-doubt-in-my-mind in love with Seth Sinclair. I wanted his happiness more than I cared about my own.
“I feel like we should both be headed in a new direction,” I said weakly.
He sat down on the couch, his elbows on his legs, and simply stared at me for so long that I started to get uncomfortable.
Shit! I wish that I didn’t feel like he could see right through me.
Finally, he said somberly, “I don’t want to head in any direction except toward you, Riley.”
My heart squeezed until I thought it would explode. I got to my feet and started to pace the small living room. “Why are you making this so damn hard?” I asked desperately. “We need to break up, but I’m having one hell of a hard time doing it. This isn’t going to work, Seth. Not over the long run. We’d end up miserable.”