“What a dreadful question,” Penelope said reprovingly. “You know very well that Zachary would never dream of taking advantage of a woman. Zachary slept in a chair by the fireplace, of course.”
Lily made a face. “Hopeless,” she said with a laugh. “The two of you are hopelessly honorable.”
“Well, so is Lord Raiford,” her sister pointed out. “In my opinion he is even more staid and conventional than Zachary. Had the two of you been in our situation, I’m certain Lord Raiford would have conducted himself with all decency and decorum.”
“Perhaps,” Lily mused and then grinned. “But no matter what you suppose…he wouldn’t have slept in a chair, Penny.”
The guests all left at a late hour, and finally Henry and his tutor were settled in their respective rooms. After running back and forth to confer with the household staff, Lily was assured that everything was in order. She went up to the bedroom with Alex, exceedingly pleased by the way the evening had turned out. Alex dismissed the maid and helped Lily undress, while she gloated over her sister’s happiness.
“Penny is radiant,” she said as Alex unfastened the back of her gown. “I’ve never seen her so happy.”
“She looks well,” Alex admitted grudgingly.
“Well? She absolutely glows.” Lily took off her dress and sat on the edge of the bed in her undergarments, extending a leg for him to roll off her stocking. “The sight of her now makes me realize how truly miserable you made her, with your grim face and gruff manners.” She smiled provocatively, reaching out to unbutton his shirt. “It was the best thing I ever did, getting her away from you.”
“Nearly killing me in the process,” Alex said sardonically, holding up one of the embroidered silk stockings and viewing it with interest.
“Oh, don’t be dramatic. It was only a little tap on the head.” Contritely Lily smoothed his golden hair. “I did hate the idea of hurting you. I couldn’t think of any other way to stop you, though. You’re an impossibly obstinate man.”
Alex scowled as he stripped off his shirt, revealing his broad, muscled chest. “You could have thought of a less painful way to keep me away from Raiford Park that night.”
“I could have seduced you, I suppose.” A smile lingered at the corners of her mouth. “But at the time the idea didn’t hold much appeal.”
Alex regarded her with a speculative gaze as he removed the rest of his clothes. “I still haven’t paid you in kind for that night,” he commented. There was a gleam in his eyes that she didn’t trust.
“Paid me in kind?” she repeated. Modestly she slipped out of her chemise and sought to climb beneath the sheet. “You mean you’d like to knock me on the head with a bottle?”
“Not precisely.”
He joined her on the bed and pushed her to the pillows with playful roughness, taking care not to hurt her. Lily laughed and struggled, while he used his strength to hold her down and steal swift kisses from her. She enjoyed the mock wrestling match, until suddenly she felt her arm being stretched and neatly secured to the bedpost with one of her stockings. A startled laugh burst from her. “Alex…” Before she could gather her wits, he fastened her other arm in the same manner. Abruptly her laughter died away, and she tugged at her wrists in astonishment. “What are you doing?” she asked rapidly. “Stop this. Untie me, right away—”
“Not yet.” He levered himself over her, gazing down at her.
An erotic, fearful thrill shot through her. “Alex, no.”
“I won’t hurt you,” he said, a faint smile touching his lips. “Close your eyes.”
She hesitated, staring into his hard golden face, the sensual promise in his eyes. His powerful body was poised just over hers, while his fingertips rested lightly on the thrashing pulse in her throat. Slowly her lashes fell, and she surrendered with a moan. His hands and mouth began to move over her, eliciting a burning pleasure that she was helpless to return. He tormented her with gentle caresses until she was rigid beneath him, waiting blindly for the torture to end. She lifted herself to him as he joined their bodies in a slow, splendid thrust. The weight and force of him drove deep within her, while his mouth brushed over hers with sweetly flirting kisses. Trembling, she drew tightly around him, using her legs and body to hold him to her. Abruptly the diffuse sensations converged in a burst of rapture and white heat. She jerked against him with a low cry and fell back gasping as he took his own pleasure inside her.
In the slow, surging aftermath, she fought to catch her breath. Alex loosened the bonds at her wrists. Blushing fiercely, she slid her arms around his neck. “Why did you do that?”
His hands moved slowly over her body. “I thought,” he replied softly, “you’d like to know how it feels.”
Vaguely she recalled having once said the same thing to him, and she choked on a mortified groan. “Alex, I-I don’t want to play games with you anymore.”
She felt his lips press into the warm space between her neck and jaw. “What do you want?” he asked huskily.
Lily grasped his head in her small hands. “I want to be your wife,” she whispered, and urged his mouth back to hers.
As the days passed, Lily found herself craving her husband’s touch, his smiles, his nearness. She had feared that life with him might be confining and dull. Instead it held an excitement she had never known. Alex challenged and bewildered her, making it impossible to know what to expect from him. Sometimes he treated her with the same brisk, masculine manner he accorded his friends while drinking and arguing politics over several hands of cards. He showed no hesitancy about taking her riding or shooting with him, and he even brought her to a boxing match, laughing as she alternated between cringing at the violent action in the ring and leaping up to cheer her favorite. Alex took pride in her intelligence, making no effort to hide his surprise at her skill in managing her household accounts. She told him dryly that her uncertain income over the past two years had made her expert at scrimping and economizing.
It was pleasant to have him praise her accomplishments, and she was gratified by his respect for her opinions. She even enjoyed the way he provoked her at times, spurring her into unladylike behavior and then mocking her for it. But there were other times when he disconcerted her by treating her like a rare, easily bruised flower. Some evenings when she was in the bath, he would wash her hair and dry her with soft towels as if she were a child, and rub perfumed oil over her body until her skin glowed.
Lily had never been so thoroughly indulged and spoiled in her life. After years of fending for herself, it was a constant surprise to have someone take her side in all things. She had only to wish aloud for something and it was hers, whether it was more horses in the stable, tickets for the theatre, or just the comfort of being held by him. When she had nightmares, he awakened her with kisses and soothed her back to sleep in his arms. When she sought to please him in bed, he was lovingly patient as he guided her in erotic lessons that aroused and fulfilled them both. His love-making was infinitely varied, ranging from savage plundering to gentle seduction that took hours to unfold. Whatever his mood, she was always left completely satisfied. Day by day he was stripping away her defenses, leaving her soft, open, and frighteningly vulnerable. Yet she was happier than she had ever thought she could be.
Alex could change from arrogance to gentleness in the blink of an eye, luring her to confide private things she had never thought anyone would want to know about her. He saw through her with terrifying clarity, understanding the shyness beneath her facade. Countless times she was tempted to tell him about Nicole, but she held back in fear. The time with him was becoming too precious. She couldn’t lose him yet.
She waited in vain for word from Giuseppe, warning Burton privately to bring her any messages from him. Although she had considered the idea of rehiring the Leary officer, Mr. Knox, to look for Nicole, she was afraid he might inadvertently jeopardize her chances of regaining her daughter. All she could do was wait. Sometimes the strain caused her to lash out irritably at those around her, even at Alex. On one occasion he responded with a sharpness that nearly moved her to tears, and they had a bitter argument. She was hardly able to meet his eyes the next morning, embarrassed by her outburst. She was also afraid that he would demand an explanation for her unreasonable behavior. Instead Alex behaved as if nothing had happened, his manner gentle and warm. Lily realized that he made allowances for her that he would make for no one else. He was the kind of husband she had never imagined existed—generous, quick to forgive, concerned more for her needs than his own.
But as she discovered, Alex did have his faults. He was overprotective and jealous, scowling at any man he perceived to be staring at his wife too closely or taking her hand too long. It amused Lily, his attitude that every man in London must be lusting after her. He took special pains to warn her away from his own cousin, Roscoe Lyon, who made charmingly outrageous overtures to her every time they met. At a magnificent ball they attended, Ross made her laugh by seizing her hand and bestowing a multitude of kisses on the back, as if he were a starving fox in the company of a delectable hen. “Lady Raiford,” he sighed eloquently, “your beauty is so luminous that we have no need of moonlight. It fairly humbles me.”
“I’ll humble you,” Alex interrupted grimly, retrieving his wife’s hand in short order.
Ross encompassed Lily with a beguiling smile. “He doesn’t trust me.”
“Neither do I,” she murmured.
He affected a wounded look. “All I wish for is a waltz with you, madam,” he protested, and added with a seductive grin, “I’ve never danced with an angel before.”
“She’s promised this one to me,” Alex said darkly, and began to pull his wife away.
“What of the next?” Ross called after them.
Alex answered over his shoulder. “She’s promised all of them to me.”
Laughing, Lily tried to warn him as he led her toward the waltzing couples. “Alex, there’s something I should tell you. Mother always tried to teach me to glide gracefully, but it was no use. She said my style of dancing is comparable to the romping of an unbroken horse.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“I promise you, it can!”
Alex thought she was jesting, but to his amusement he discovered that it was true. It took all of his skill to restrain his athletic wife’s vigor upon the dance floor, not to mention several firm maneuvers to keep her from trying to lead. “Follow me,” he said, slowing his pace and guiding her through the steps.
Despite the strong guidance of his hand, Lily kept moving in the wrong direction. “This might be easier if you just followed me,” she suggested impishly.
He bent his head and whispered in her ear, telling her to think of the last time they made love. The unorthodox advice caused her to giggle, but as she stared into his eyes and concentrated on being together with him, it was suddenly easy to allow him full control of their movements. She relaxed enough to allow something approaching a glide. “Why, we’re very good at this!” she exclaimed. Grinning at her expression of pleased surprise, Alex claimed her for several more waltzes, causing more than a few raised eyebrows.
It was unfashionable for a husband to dote openly on his wife, but Alex didn’t seem to care. Lily was amused by the sophisticated society women who mocked enviously behind their fans at the close attention Alex paid to her. Their own husbands spoke indifferently to them, if at all, and spent every night in their mistresses’ beds. To Lily’s surprise, even Penelope remarked on Alex’s possessiveness, declaring that Zachary never sought out her company the way Alex did with Lily.
“What do you talk with him about all the time?” Penelope asked curiously during the intermission of the most recent play at Drury Lane. “What do you say that interests him so?” The two sisters stood together in a corner of the domed foyer on the first floor, fanning themselves. Before Lily could answer, they were joined by Lady Elizabeth Burghley and Mrs. Gwyneth Dawson, both of them respectable young matrons Lily had begun friendships with. Lily especially liked Elizabeth, who had a lively sense of humor.
“I must hear the answer to this,” Elizabeth declared with a laugh. “All of us have been wondering how to keep our husbands planted firmly by our sides as Lily does. What do you say that he finds so enthralling, dear?”
Lily shrugged, glancing at Alex. He was standing with a group of men across the room, all of them involved in idle conversation. As if he felt her gaze, he glanced back at her and smiled slightly. She turned her attention back to the women. “We talk about everything,” she said with a grin. “Billiards, beeswax, and Bentham. I never hesitate to give him my opinion, even when he doesn’t like it.”
“But we shouldn’t talk to men about politicians such as Mr. Bentham,” Gwyneth said, puzzled. “That’s what they have their friends for.”
“It seems I’ve made yet another faux pas,” Lily said with a laugh, pretending to cross the subject off an invisible list. “No more improper discussions of politicians.”
“Lily, don’t change a thing,” Elizabeth hastened to tell her, her eyes twinkling. “It’s clear Lord Raiford likes things just as they are. Perhaps I should ask my husband his opinions of beeswax and Mr. Bentham!”
Smiling, Lily let her gaze wander over the crowd in the foyer once more. She was startled by a glimpse of inky black hair, a flash of familiar features. A shudder of uneasiness went through her. Blinking hard, she searched again for the vision, but it was gone. She felt a soft hand on her arm.
“Lily?” Penelope questioned. “Is something wrong?”
Chapter 12
Lily continued to stare absently at the crowd. Recovering herself, she pasted a smile on her face and shook her head. It couldn’t have been Giuseppe. Over the course of the past years he had become too seedy to mingle in a gathering such as this. Aristocratic bloodlines or not, he wouldn’t be allowed to associate with the guests in here, only with the lower classes outside. “No, Penny, it’s nothing. I thought I saw a familiar face.”
She managed to dispel the dark feeling enough to enjoy the rest of the performance, but she was definitely relieved when it was over. Reading the expression on her face, Alex refused several invitations to gather with friends after the play, and he took Lily back to Swans’ Court.
Lily stared hard at Burton as he welcomed them inside and took Alex’s gloves and hat. It was the same look she gave him whenever she asked if a particular message had arrived for her that day. In response to her silent question, Burton shook his head slightly. The negative motion sent her heart plummeting. She didn’t know how much more she could take, how many more silent nights of waiting for news of her daughter.