“Good,” Dr. Katz praised when Honey exhaled. “Do you feel any pain here?”
Honey shook her head, not trusting her voice.
“How about here?” When Honey gave her the same response, Dr. Katz said, “Everything looks excellent so far.”
She went over to the counter and took a pair of gloves out of the box. Then, she moved over to the ultrasound machine.
Andrew was still holding Honey’s hand, but he squeezed it, gaining her attention. “Are you all right?”
She nodded, her eyes returning to Dr. Katz, her mind focused on the sweat that was now covering her body and the sensations she was feeling in her stomach that she knew were just nerves.
“No matter what, everything is going to be fine.” He brushed a bang out of her eye, leaving his hand on her forehead. “Don’t forget that, baby.”
He had told her the same thing when she woke up this morning and right before they left their condo for the appointment.
Honey hadn’t responded any of the times.
She couldn’t.
And she couldn’t now either.
“This is going to feel cold,” Dr. Katz said as she squirted jelly on Honey’s belly.
“Breathe,” Andrew whispered in her ear as she felt the device in the doctor’s hand move across her tummy.
She followed her husband’s instruction, and she concentrated on the screen next to them. She had no idea what she should be looking for, but she hoped to see movement. A beat, pulse, flicker—anything that resembled life.
“Honey …” Andrew said so softly.
She dragged her eyes away from the machine and looked at him. The last time he had sounded this way was when he recited his wedding vows.
Honey needed to know what that meant.
At first, when their eyes connected, the only thing she saw in his was love.
But then his face filled with the warmest smile, and he pointed at the screen and said to his wife, “Look at what we made, baby.”
Honey quickly took a breath and turned to Dr. Katz.
“Yes,” she confirmed, “both the ultrasound and your bloodwork are positive.”
“Oh my God,” Honey cried.
She felt a rush inside her chest, like they were swimming at Ogunquit Beach and the largest wave was headed for them. She felt tears, like the ones she had left on the bathroom floor. More than anything, she felt a happiness she hadn’t known existed.
Her body had finally listened. After all the begging and pleading, the promises and negotiation. The fear that had consumed her because she worried she wouldn’t be able to have children.
Now, that was all gone.
Because her body had finally listened.
She put her hand over her mouth, still staring at the screen. “Andrew …”
His lips were on her cheek. “That’s our baby.”
“I would say you’re about eight weeks along,” Dr. Katz informed them.
There was a knot so large in the back of Honey’s throat that she was unable to fight the tears.
Andrew wiped every one before they fell. “You made me a daddy.”
Honey’s eyes clenched together, lips quivering, and when she opened them again, the screen hadn’t changed. The bean she had been staring at was still there.
The same one that would soon be calling her Mommy.
FORTY-NINE
JARED
AFTER TONY TOOK me for a long drive in the city, I returned to my office several hours later, seeing my phone still sitting in the middle of my desk. The time I’d spent in the backseat of the SUV, trying to work it all out in my head, helped tame what I was feeling. But seeing my cell again threatened to bring it right back up.
I’d conquered many things in my life.
Getting a handle on myself when it came to Billie should be the easiest.
It was proving to be the hardest.
I touched the screen of my phone, found her message, and reread it over and over.
There were many reasons we were perfect for each other, but the bad outweighed the good, and I certainly didn’t need Marcus’s phone call to remind me.
There was just one problem.
What I’d learned about her from the first time I was in her presence was that I couldn’t get enough. I couldn’t stay away. I couldn’t stop myself from touching her.
That didn’t excuse what had happened last night.