“We’re going to go and grab something to eat, you stay and chat.”
Ryan pulls her to him and bites her ear, making her giggle as they turn to leave.
When they walk out the door, I feel Buck get up from the seat next to me and push it in.
“You don’t have to help. I can just keep serving you while I clean. It’s nice to chat with someone other than myself.” He chuckles while walking away.
“Have you ever been divorced?” I blurt out, and when he doesn’t answer I turn around to see him paused at the bar.
“Yes,” he answers.
“Does it suck?” I ask. It’s probably speaking out of turn, but I really want to know the answer, and I’m sure it’s not the topic of conversation he was hoping for, but it’s all I have right at this moment. He starts moving and placing stools up on the counter as he turns to me and smiles.
“Yes, but eventually it gets better. One day at a time,” he replies, and I believe him. I do, I just don’t know if it will be like that for me, though.
It’s been three months since I’ve seen him, and my heart still hasn’t gotten the memo that he’s bad for me. “I hope so.”
“Ahhh… so, it’s a broken heart that has you drinking like that?” He points to the empty glasses on the table. I stand, walk over to him, then grab a cloth to start wiping down the counter in some sort of attempt at helping him.
“Yep.”
“They suck.” I nod in agreement. “They really, really, do.”
“How long ago was yours?”
“Two years,” he answers without missing a beat.
“And are you over her?” I ask, realizing all I’m doing is wiping the counter in one spot but in circles.
“Yes, but we weren’t meant to be,” he replies. I still have doubts whether I was meant to be with Gunner or not.
Maybe not. Who knows? If confusion was my middle name, it would be quite appropriate at this moment.
“I think I need to move on,” I tell him, but it’s more about telling myself. When I turn to face him, he’s watching me. “Can I kiss you?” I ask. I haven’t kissed another man in a long time and I miss it. I want to know if my heart is still his, or if I can do this, if I can move on.
“You’re asking me if you can kiss me?” he asks, puzzled.
“Yes, can I?”
Buck brushes his reddish hair back with his fingers and nods his head. “I mean… I would never say no to a beautiful woman kissing me.”
Taking a few steps closer, so I’m in front of him, I smile. “It’s been a while,” I say, biting my lip.
“I won’t rush you. We can do this at your pace.” Buck places his hands at his sides, showing me he won’t do anything I don’t want him to. I lean forward and press up on my toes, so my lips come into slight contact with his, my hands touching his chest. I feel the warmth and strength beneath him as I start to move my lips, his are soft against mine. He opens his mouth, still keeping his hands to himself, and kisses me back. It’s a nice kiss, one I enjoy, but it doesn’t do to me what kissing my soon-to-be ex-husband does to me. I try harder, pushing my body closer to his, so there’s no space between us, and deepen the kiss. Buck’s hands move, touching my hips, and I want him to hold me possessively, but he doesn’t, instead his hands are gentle and kind.
Pulling back, I sigh.
He hears it, I know he does because he shakes his head slightly, but I notice. “That was some kiss,” he says.
I offer him a small smile but it’s weak. It was a good kiss, but it wasn’t the kiss.
Deciding that’s not my answer, I go back again, this time reaching for his hands and wrapping them around my waist, pushing up on him as I make contact with his lips, and wrap my own hands around his shoulders holding him to me. We step back and I feel it when my back hits the bar. I pull away, climbing up, and he watches with interest. When I’m seated, I pull him back between my legs and take his lips again. He drags me forward so my ass is on the edge and my legs are wrapped around his waist. I feel him push forward while keeping our lips in contact. I tear at his shirt until he pulls it over his head, breaking our kiss, and I slide my fingers down his chest, taking in his taut muscles. He looks good. I knew he would, though. Buck smiles against my lips, deepening the kiss, and moves away until he starts biting my neck very softly but not enough to leave any kind of marks. It’s not enough.