“I’ll find a way,” she managed on a shaky breath. “I’m very determined. I chained myself to a park tree when I was eight years old. They were going to tear it down but I knew a family of squirrels lived there. Actually, they were trying to tear it down to build a public water park, and I argued so well at city council that they changed the plans. Yeah, I was unpopular in school.”
He laughed, one of those rare, genuine Connor laughs that she hoarded like gold because he only ever seemed to laugh like that around her. “I can imagine it’s difficult being a preteen crusader.” He moved the wand all around, upping the hum and causing her whole body to tighten. “I was a preteen pessimist, so we’re an odd pair.”
She couldn’t miss the way he relished saying those words. Her hands tightened around the bars of the headboard. Her feet dug into the comforter. So close. She was so close.
And then he pulled the vibe away.
Her eyes flew open. “You’re a sadist.”
He moved between her legs, settling himself on his belly, his face hovering over her pussy. “No. I’m a patient man and you are a very impatient woman. I think I’m going to do the adult equivalent of your squirrel rescue. I’ll chain you to my bed until you promise to marry me.”
“Why marriage?” She watched as he lowered his mouth and placed a reverent kiss on her flesh. “We could date for a while. We haven’t known each other very long.”
“Because when it’s right, it’s right. Because I’ve waited my whole life to find you and I want to start our future now.” He licked at her, and her skin seemed to fire off, pleasure building like a grenade about to explode.
She could read between the lines. He’d waited his whole life for someone to call his own. He’d likely not even thought it would happen. He’d assumed he was cursed to be alone and now that he’d found the woman he wanted, he would move to secure her like the ruthless tactician he was. He wouldn’t feel safe in a casual relationship. He would want her bound to him in every way possible. It was simply the way Connor Sparks was built.
“Tell me you love me,” she murmured.
He jerked his head up, his hands tightening around her legs like he was a little worried this was a trap. Still, he didn’t shirk or shy away. “I love you. I love you so fucking much. I love every inch of you, and the next time you want to save a family of bushy-tailed rodents, I’ll take care of everyone who tries to stop you.”
They were going to have to work on his violent tendencies. “I love you, too.”
“Marry me.” He wasn’t a man to take a small victory when he could push for the end of the war.
And it was a futile battle. “You know I will.”
“You won’t regret it.” He smiled, a wolfish expression, and then the wand was back. He placed it right on her clit and turned that sucker on. “I’ll make sure you don’t.”
He speared her with his tongue, fucking up inside her while he stimulated her little nubbin. She went off like a rocket, her whole body bowing with the pleasure.
After a moment, he kissed her one last time and she felt him leave the bed, turning off the wand. She kept her eyes closed, reveling in the way her body felt. Only one man could ever make her feel like this—languid and beautiful, weak for him, but oh so strong.
She’d made her decision. It might be silly, but she didn’t want to live in a world without him. Love required a leap of faith, and holding out on him wouldn’t change the fact that she was hopelessly, irrevocably in love with Connor Sparks.
Had he been standing with her in Kiki’s apartment, there would have been no negotiation. There would have been no playing the odds and deciding he couldn’t save her. He would have placed himself between her and that bullet, and nothing would have made him move. Tom might have thought he loved her, but Connor had been right. With men, actions spoke louder than words.
“I forgive you.” He needed to hear the words. “I won’t hold the way we met against you. We’ll move on from here together.”
She felt the bed dip again and then heard an odd snick of a sound.
“And I trust you, Lara. I trust you more than anyone in the world. Help me get past my fear. I don’t want anything between us.”
She sat up and found Connor laid out beside her, his gorgeous body on display. His hands were over his head and he’d locked them to the headboard with a pair of silver handcuffs.
He was utterly open and vulnerable to her.
She looked at her gorgeous man, at every scar he wore on his body and the ones no one could see.
She would prove to him that he was safe with her.
SEVENTEEN
Connor hated being vulnerable and thought about the fact that he could probably break the bed, but he’d gone too far with the cuffs. Way too far. He couldn’t pull them apart. He couldn’t drag himself out and that made him damn near crazy. What had he been thinking?
Lara looked down at him, her eyes wide, and his dick didn’t seem to have the same PTSD he had. His cock was straining, preening under her hot gaze. The damn thing reached almost to his navel and he could feel it weeping, wanting to come.
She’d said she would marry him. He’d won her back. Both his relief and his joy were epic. But he knew they wouldn’t be complete until he gave her something she needed: his trust. Lara Armstrong needed to know she was the only one in the world he would give control to.
She placed a hand over his chest, her lips curling up in the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. “I think you picked me for my belief in nonviolence.”
He’d never really known anyone like her. She was unique in his world. “I picked you because you’re you.”
She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his chest, just above his nipple. “You don’t ever have to worry about me hurting you, Connor.” Her tongue laved over his skin and he bit back a groan. “Though I will admit I’ve come to have a fondness for certain forms of torment. What does the Geneva Convention say about sexual torture?”
“I think they’re for it,” he murmured as she ran her hand down his chest toward his waist. He wanted to drag her down and force her to grip his cock hard and pump him while he branded her with his mouth, but this wasn’t his show.
She licked his other nipple, turning them into erogenous zones he hadn’t known he had. Her hair flowed around her, creeping across his torso. It tickled and tormented him, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. He loved being trapped in her web. It was a safe place to be.
“I also have to say I’ve come to believe that nonviolence isn’t always the best way,” she said.
“Why is that, princess?” He was very still under her ministrations. Her little tongue darted over his skin, tasting and licking and lighting up his flesh like a butterfly flitting from flower to flower.
“It’s been a rough week, babe. We’ve been shot at a whole bunch. It might take me some time to get back to totally peaceful thoughts. I’d kind of like to shoot Tom.”
His hands tightened at the sound of the other man’s name. “He didn’t love you, Lara.”
She kissed along his jawline, her hand brushing up against his cock. “You’re right. I was never safe with him. Even when you were lying to me, I was safe with you.”
He groaned as she ran her tongue along his lower lip. “Always.”
“I think I figured out that we all wear masks sometimes.” She got to her knees, staring down at him. “Kiki blindsiding me was p
artially my fault. I never really scratched below her surface or I would have seen her anger.”
Now he really wanted use of his hands so he could tug her close. “It wasn’t your fault and she wasn’t truly angry with you. Baby, why don’t you let me out of these cuffs and we can talk about it.”
His cock would have to wait.
A little frown crossed her lush mouth and she shook her head. “No. This is my time.” She shifted, throwing a leg over his hips and straddling him. “She harbored some definite anger at the world. I didn’t really listen to her the way I should have, or I