Her body was already heating up in anticipation of what he intended to do to her. She was surprised she didn’t hate the idea of being tied up by him. It was all a question of trust. She trusted him with her body, her life, her pleasure.
Could she trust him with her heart?
She let her arms drift overhead, her fingertips brushing the railing of the headboard. Cool metal flashed against her palms as she gripped two of them. She had a feeling she would need to hold on to something.
“Bring your knees up and spread your legs. I want you open for me.”
She did as he asked. “What’s going on, Connor?”
“Stay like that. I’ll be right back.” He stepped away.
She stared up at the ceiling. What was he doing? He was giving her too much time to think. She turned slightly and looked at the nightstand. It was empty with the exception of an elegant table lamp. It was obvious he’d bought the best of everything, but there was something cold to his furnishings. There were no pictures or knickknacks. No gifts or souvenirs proudly displayed.
“Close your eyes,” he commanded.
A little panic threatened. It was still so close. She could still see Kiki, still hear the gun firing off, still hear Natalia slumping to her death and smell the acrid scent of blood. “I can’t.”
“You can.” His tone was deep and dark, cajoling her to do his bidding. “I don’t want you to think. I just want you to feel.”
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Maybe if he kept talking, she could concentrate on his voice. “Why did you buy this place?”
The bed dipped as he sat beside her. The anticipation was going to kill her. “I needed a place near work.”
“Your work was all over the world.” She could feel her body tightening, waiting for that moment when his warm hands would stroke across her skin. “It would have been easier to get an apartment. Less upkeep.”
“I wasn’t worried about the upkeep. I was worried about showing my father how well I’ve done and just how much I could buy with his money. Don’t scream, princess.”
Something cold touched her right nipple and it nearly took her breath away. She couldn’t help it. Her eyes flew open. Connor was running a piece of ice around her areola. She shivered. “That’s so cold.”
“But this isn’t.” He leaned over and sucked her nipple into his mouth, giving her the hard edge of his teeth. The sensation raced along her skin, flaring out and making her squirm. He licked her and then lifted his head, dark eyes staring down at her. “Are you thinking about anything but me right now?”
She shook her head.
“Then stop complaining.” He brought the ice cube to her lips, dragging it across her mouth. “I have a couple of fun things to do before we get to the main event, so to speak. Everly packed for you. I asked her to make sure she didn’t miss the very important items in your nightstand.”
She gasped as she realized what he was talking about. “Oh my god, how did you know about that?”
He winked and reached down to the side of the bed, coming up with her small pink vibrator. “Princess, I snoop. It’s my job and my nature. And do you have any idea what kind of fantasies I had about you and this little wand? I like it. It’s your fairy princess wand. I’m going to use it to grant a wish.”
She was fairly certain her whole body was on fire with embarrassment. He’d known about her little wand. She’d bought it on a whim. She’d gone to her cousin’s bachelorette party. There had been a woman selling erotic toys and after a couple of margaritas, she’d ordered a little pink wand vibrator. She’d only tried it once and had discovered it didn’t really work on her.
She wasn’t going to tell Connor that. For some reason she didn’t want to stop him. He was relaxed, happier than he’d been before. That made her happier. And she wanted to know the rest of his story. He never talked about himself. Anytime she asked, he cleverly turned the conversation back to her.
He skated the ice cube down her torso, every inch making her shiver and groan. He grazed it down and she stiffened when it hit her clitoris and he stroked cool circles around her little bud.
“Did your dad like it? This house, I mean.” Every word was a pant. She had to force them out because he was slowly driving her mad.
He slid the rapidly melting cube along her labia while his free hand brushed her nipples. “He never saw it. Once he’d given me what I asked for, I never actually talked to him again. He died a couple of years back.”
She watched as he pulled the ice from her pussy and brought it right to his mouth. He licked it and sucked it like it was the richest ice cream ever. “What did you ask for?”
“Twenty million.” He brought the vibe closer, twisting it and putting it on a low hum. “My father was a congressman. Unfortunately, he started life as a drug dealer. That’s how he met my mother. By the time I found him, he’d turned his life around and his father had sold the family ranch for a hundred million. Turns out it was sitting on prime development land and on top of one of the largest natural gas reserves in the country. He’d gone legit and married and had his two-point-five kids. I blackmailed him.”
From what she understood, he’d been left in a terrible position. His mother had been a drug addict. He’d been a child trying to make his way in the world. So smart. So ambitious, but other than his friends, so alone. He’d had to teach himself. She’d had two loving parents. She’d had a family to support her and teach her how to love.
The last day or two, she hadn’t been putting her knowledge to good use.
How would Connor love? Would he stumble and fall like a child needing guidance? The love would still be pure, but there would be a learning curve. Could a man like that make a terrible mistake and try to correct it with all his heart?
The vibrator hummed in his hand, but when he looked down at her, his face was blank. “Are you shocked by that? I took twenty million dollars from him. I signed a document stating that I wasn’t his son and would never contact him again.”
How much of his heart had that cost him? Her poor, sweet Connor. He had a cold home, bought with blood money. He spent his life protecting without ever receiving an ounce of warmth. Only his friends had given him a safe place.
It struck her quite suddenly that was exactly what he sought. A safe place. He’d been a lonely boy and then an outsider even among his friends. He’d found a place in the world with the CIA, but it had pushed him further to the outside.
Peace. He’d said he wanted peace in exchange for the work he’d done.
He’d quit his job and asked her to marry him. He’d offered her the one thing that was very likely sacred to him. A child who would never know want the way he had. A child who would need a father.
She looked up at him and realized that if she rejected him again and pushed him away for what he’d done in service to his friends and country, they could very likely be over. They would go back to being polite strangers who went their own ways after the case was solved.
Lara had hit a fork in the road. She could protect herself. She could ensure that he never had the ability to hurt her again. In some ways, she could have her revenge on him for hurting her in the first place.
Screw the world. I need you. I need you to be Lara . . .
He’d said he needed her, all but pleading for the parts of herself she’d always valued. Warmth and affection. Forgiveness. Kindness. Love. She’d found an endless well for people she barely knew. Didn’t the man she loved deserve all those things from her and more? Yes, real love, intimate love, was so much harder than giving charity to a stranger or even hugging a friend, but she’d never been one to shrink from a challenge.
“Baby, I think you should have gone for an even thirty million,” she replied with a little smile. “Though I do hope you gave some to charity. I know some really nice people who help recovering addicts get back on their feet.”
He stared down at her and she could practically feel his relief. “Whatever you want, princess. It’s al
l yours. And next time I blackmail someone, I’ll make sure to talk to you before I set a price. You’re quite ruthless.”
Okay, maybe he’d misunderstood. “Connor, I was joking. You can’t blackmail people.” She started to talk about how he could achieve his goals without blackmail, but he flicked the vibrator on and placed it against her clit until she could barely think anymore.
“What was that?” Connor asked with a decadent grin as he moved the wand in soothing circles. “I couldn’t hear you over the hum. See, when you start lecturing me, I’ll just ensure you’re too busy to speak.”