Love Buzz

Love is most glorious. Love also rips you apart.

Jonas

When I woke this morning, I didn’t expect this. For Autumn’s past to step in and rip away everything I love. Autumn asks for patience, but with each passing day, she slips farther from my grasp.

I refuse to lose Autumn or Clementine. Not to him. Not to anyone.

They are my girls. Always.

As the picture perfect life I envision with them slowly fades, the pain beneath my sternum grows more powerful.

Each passing day, my chest tightens at the loss of them.

I never imagined I would discover the love of my life, only to lose her.

Autumn

When I woke this morning, I never saw this coming. My ex storming back into my life and threatening to steal everything I hold precious. Not just my daughter, but also my livelihood. And I refuse to let him do either.

Until this ends, I must let go of my newfound selfishness and focus solely on Clementine.

Until this ends, I must forget about love. Temporarily.

When I memorized Jonas’s heartbeat, I had no idea I would need to recall it in my lonely bed so soon.

I had no idea my heart would ache so profusely in his absence.

I have never known pain like this. And I have never been so torn.

…hopefully, our love will survive the storm.