Her eyes lifted to meet his, and that clench in her heart nearly brought her to her knees.
“Max,” she whispered. “Don’t make this any harder.”
“I’m not doing anything,” he said. “No matter what happened between us in the past, I can see you’re wearing yourself thin. You look ready to fall over, Raine.”
Yes, those were the words she wanted to hear. Nothing like a blow to the self-esteem to really perk up an already crappy day. She hesitated to tell him this was her everyday appearance, and he was just used to women who popped up in the morning with makeup in place and hair perfectly coiffed.
“I’m fine,” she assured him. “I have a lot on my plate right now, and I hadn’t anticipated being stuck with you. It’s thrown me off a little.”
“I’m not too thrilled about being stranded here, either. My mother is recovering from major surgery, and I promised I’d help.”
Raine pulled back the throttle on her own anger and self-pity. “I’m sorry about your mom, Max. The doctors got all the cancer out, and Elise told me after her radiation treatments, she’d be fine. But I’m sure you’re still scared.”
Max nodded, taking a step back and resting his hands on his hips. “When she first called me, I was in a meeting with a producer who was asking me to be part of his next film. He wants me for the director.”
Raine listened about this other life Max had, a life she knew nothing about. Other than seeing him in movies, which was hard to watch at first, she’d not heard a word about any behind-the-scenes stuff.
“I’ve wanted to direct a movie for years, and the moment my big break was happening, my world back home fell apart,” he went on. “Cancer. It’s amazing how one word can make you rethink your entire life, every minute, every word you’ve said. I knew I had to get here, but she assured me that the nurse and my father would be with her through the surgery in Boston, and I could come here later, because she planned on undergoing radiation here in Lenox.”
“You’re here now,” Raine told him softly. “I know she’s happy to have you back.”
Max’s sultry blue eyes met hers. “What about you, Raine? Are you glad to have me back?”
Raine swallowed, looked him in the eyes and...couldn’t come up with an answer. On one hand she loathed him for not fulfilling his promise to her, for hurting her at such a young age, but, on the other hand, how could she hold so tightly to the past? He hadn’t tried to contact her in ten years...that was hard to let go.
But he was here now to care for his sick mother. Technically she didn’t need him, but he’d come to show his love and support. How could she find any fault in that?
“It’s okay,” he said, taking a step closer and closing the narrow gap. “Under the circumstances, I’m not thrilled to be here, either.”
She knew he referred to his mother’s state, but a part of her wondered if he also meant her. Was he bitter toward her? All she was guilty of was falling in love, being naive and waiting for her Prince Charming to send for her.
And the baby they’d created.
Seeing him after all this time only brought back that rush of emotions associated with knowing she was carrying his baby, knowing he wasn’t sending for her...and then the miscarriage. Those several months were the darkest of her life, and Max Ford held the key to the past she never wanted to revisit again.
“If we’re going to be stuck together for who knows how long, I think it’s best if we don’t bring up the past,” she said. “We’re not the same people, and I just can’t focus on something that happened so long ago. Not when I have Abby to care for. She’s my future.”
Max continued to stare at her, holding her with that piercing blue gaze. The room seemed to shrink, but in reality all she saw was him. Broad shoulders, tanned features beneath dark stubble, faint wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. He’d aged, but in the most handsome, beautiful way...damn him.
“Where’s Abby’s father?” he asked.
Raine jerked away from the shock of the sudden question. “That’s none of your business.”
“It is if he lives here.”
“He doesn’t.”
“Is he part of your life?” Max asked.
“No.”
His hand came up, cupping the side of her cheek. She barely resisted the urge to close her eyes, inhale his masculine scent, lean into his strong hold, but she could afford none of those things and honestly had no idea why he was touching her.
So Raine glared back at him, refusing to let him get past the wall of defense she’d built so long ago.
“You used to be so soft, so easy to read,” he murmured. “What happened when I left?”
“Reality.” She backed up until her spine hit the counter. “Reality was harsh, Max, and it woke me up to the life I was living, not the life I wanted.”
God, it hurt to look at him. The longer he was here, in her home, in Lenox, the longer those memories from fifteen years ago would assault her. The loss of him, the loss of their baby.
“I’m going to go start lunch,” she stated. “You’re more than welcome to eat with me but no more dredging up the past again. Are we clear?”
He took a step forward, then two, placing a hand on either side of her body to trap her. Leaning in, his face came within inches of hers.
“We can’t get past this tension between us until we discuss it. Maybe that makes me the naive one, Raine.” His eyes darted to her lips. “Or maybe I’m a fool for still finding you just as attractive as I did then.”
Raine couldn’t breathe, all air had whooshed from her lungs the second he’d locked her between his sturdy arms. But just as soon as he leaned in, he pushed away.
“Don’t worry. I know we’re two different people,” he stated as he neared the door. “And no matter what I feel now, whether it’s old feelings or new hormones, I have my own set of worries.”
He turned toward the door, then glanced over his shoulder. “And be warned. We will discuss our past before I leave Lenox.”
Five
“Yes, Mother, Marshall was here.”
Max stopped just outside the kitchen when he overheard Raine’s exhausted tone. Seems some things hadn’t changed. Apparently her mother could still bring out the frustration and weariness in Raine’s voice.
After working for a couple hours on Raine’s laptop, he set out to see what she was up to. Now that he knew, Max couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.
“No, I didn’t need him to stay. I’m a big girl, and I’m fine. Abby is fine, too, not that you asked.”
Really? What grandmother wasn’t doting over a grandchild? Was the relationship between Raine and her parents still so strained that Abby wasn’t even a consideration in their lives?
Or maybe Raine didn’t want them to be in the baby’s life. Who knows? And to be honest, he couldn’t focus on Raine’s problems. If he did, he’d find himself deeper entrenched in her world, and he could not afford to get caught there again.
“I have to go,” Raine said. “Abby’s crying.”
Max smiled at the silent house, the obviously sleeping baby.
“Please tell Dad not to send Marshall out here again. The man is getting mixed signals, and they aren’t coming from me.”
Who the hell was Marshall? From the tone and Raine’s plea, he had to guess someone her parents deemed suitable to be a boyfriend or the perfect spouse. Yeah, he had never fit that mold when he had wanted the title. Her parents had delusional thoughts of Raine marrying some suave and sophisticated political figure. Did Raine look like First Lady material?
Obviously her parents didn’t know her at all, or they chose not to care what she wanted. He firmly believed the latter.
And that phone call answered the “man in her life” question. Apparently her mom and dad were relentless in trying to find the right “suitor,” which made him laugh on the inside. Would her parents ever give up and see that Raine was a grown woman more than capable of making smart decisions?
Max eased into the room. Raine’s back was to him, her eyes fixed on the falling snow outside the wide window that stretched above her sink. The paint on the interior of the windowpane had peeled away from the trim, and the faucet was dripping, whether to keep the pipes from freezing or because it was old, Max had no clue. But he couldn’t get involved. He was just here to wait out this freak snowstorm.
The old yellow Formica countertops were the exact same as what he’d remembered, but now they were chipped along the edges. The old hardwood floors were scarred and in desperate need of refinishing.
What the hell had Raine done with all that trust fund money she was due to get when she turned twenty-five? She certainly didn’t invest it back into her house.
“How long are you going to stand there?” she asked without turning around.
Max moved farther into the room, unable to hide his smile. “Just seeing if it’s safe to come in.”
She tossed him a glance over her shoulder. “I started making lunch, but my mother’s call threw me off.”
Max gripped the back of one of the mismatched chairs at the table. “You and your parents still don’t have a good relationship? After all these years?”
Raine opened her refrigerator and pulled out asparagus.
“We’ve never quite seen eye to eye on things,” she stated, rinsing the vegetable. “My mother is trying to turn me into some snobby pearl-wearing socialite, and my father is too busy worrying about his political standing in the town to worry about such nuisances as his child or grandchild...unless we’re in public.”
Max hated hearing this, hated that he wanted to hold a grudge against her, but he also couldn’t believe how she was treated by her own family.
“So what are you doing that your parents dislike so much?” he asked, pulling out the chair, turning it around and straddling it. He rested his arms over the back.
Raine laid the stems on a baking sheet and placed them in the oven. “I’m not doting all over the movers and shakers of this town. I’m too different, meaning I grow my own vegetables, make my own soap and lotions, sell eggs, an occasional goat for milk, and in the summer I do some landscaping for a few families. Your parents’ second home here is one of my jobs.”
Max watched as she busied herself with this healthy organic lunch he’d rather pass on. But now that he was in here, he would probably stay.
“Mom mentioned you worked for her. She’s impressed with you.”
Still he was dying to know what had happened. In the years that he’d been gone and would visit his parents in Boston, Raine’s name had only come up in the beginning. His mother hadn’t mentioned once that Raine had worked at the Lenox house in the summer.
She pulled out what he assumed to be tofu, and started packing it and placing it in the skillet on the old gas stove. “I rarely see your dad, but your mother comes to Lenox quite often. I assume to get away from the city life.”
Max nodded. “That’s why she wanted to recover from her surgery and take radiation in Lenox—because it’s so quiet and peaceful. Since her oncologist expects her to make a full recovery, and has been in touch with the local hospital, he said she’ll be fine to continue treatments here.” As the skillet sizzled and aromas filled the spacious kitchen, Max kept his eyes on Raine as she turned to face him. Even in her sloppy clothes she looked adorable. But damn, he didn’t want her to look adorable. He wanted her to be overweight and have a face covered in warts. An overbite? Thunder thighs? Anything?
Of course even if Raine had gained two hundred pounds and had a blemished face, he’d still see that young girl he’d fallen in love with. And a piece of his heart would always belong to her for that reason alone, no matter who they were today. Her beauty went so far beyond physical, nothing could ruin his image of her.
“I’m sorry you’re trapped here with me,” she said. “I’m sorry I was grouchy earlier, but I’m just...I’m not sure what to say to you. I mean, our past aside, you’re Max Ford, Hollywood’s hottest actor, and I’m...”
She glanced down at her boxy outfit and laughed. “You get the picture.”
Max tilted his head. “No, I don’t. Are you saying you’re not worthy enough to be trapped with me? Why the hell not? Just because I’m famous? I’d much rather be trapped with you than any L.A. high-maintenance type.”
Raine continued to laugh. “As you can see, I’m anything but high maintenance.”
She turned back to her stove and flipped the...meat? No, tofu wasn’t meat. Raine hated meat, and her shirt even advertised the fact.