“You don’t have a social life, Raine!” her mother exclaimed. “I don’t understand why you won’t get out a little more, get a job, go back to college for heaven’s sake. Let someone else adopt that baby. It’s not too late to back out.”
Not even an option. No way was anyone else going to adopt Abby. Raine never dreamed the adoption process would take this long, but even if it took ten years, she wasn’t letting go of this beloved child.
She’d already lost one baby and was blessed enough to have been given a second chance at motherhood. Abby was a precious bundle that tucked so perfectly into Raine’s life.
“Mom, I have to go check on Abby.”
“If you’re so insistent on keeping her, the least you could do is let me see her,” her mother said with a huff.
That was a worry Raine had wrestled with, and one that had kept her up many nights. Raine had always heard the saying “It took a village to raise a child,” but she just wasn’t sure she could allow her mother’s influences to trickle down to Abby.
“You’ve seen her, Mom,” Raine said defensively, then took a sip of her tea, welcoming the burn as it slid down her throat.
“Not enough. She needs to know her place in this family, Raine.”
Setting the china cup down, Raine took a deep breath so she didn’t explode. “Mother, she’s three months old. Her place right now is as my child. Nothing more.”
“I didn’t call to argue. The luncheon has been rescheduled for next Saturday, and I expect you and Abigail to attend.”
“Her name is Abby, Mother.”
“Abigail is more dignified.”
“But that’s not her legal name, so if you refer to her again, call her by the name I chose for her.”
Her mother sniffed into the phone. “I don’t know where I went wrong with you,” she cried. “I just want what’s best.”
“For whom, Mother? Best for me, or best for you and your social status?”
Silence settled in on the other end of the line and Raine knew she’d gone too far...again. This is how nearly all of their calls went, and in the end Raine always felt guilty and mentally drained.
“I’ll talk to you later, Mother.”
Raine hung up and rested her palms on the edge of the chipped countertop. Why did she let her mother get to her? For twenty-eight years the woman had tried to make her feel like an outcast, and the majority of that time she’d succeeded. The only person who’d ever really understood her had been her grandmother; but when she had passed eight years ago, Raine had been truly alone.
The wind picked up outside, rattling the old windows. She took her cup and headed to her favorite room of the house. The room where she felt at home, where she could be creative, and no one was there to stifle the process.
Her grandmother’s old bedroom, where Raine mixed all her lotions and made her specialty soaps. This was the perfect place to work, since it was right next to the nursery, and she felt so much closer to her grandmother here. But as Raine pulled a few ingredients off the shelf, she thought of Max. At one time he’d consumed all of her thoughts, all of her heart and soul. And, damn him, he looked even better now than he had when she’d been totally in love with him.
Hollywood had put him on this pedestal, elevating him to superstar status in no time, and she’d been back home soaking it all in via media outlets talking up the hottest newbie on the scene.
And amid all that talk, flashing cameras and Max throwing that signature dimpled grin to the reporters, Raine had been back in Lenox, nursing a broken heart...and coming to grips with an unexpected pregnancy.
Max had never known he’d been a father. Had never known the grief, the anguish, she’d gone through in losing the baby. He’d been living the dream and loving life while she’d been burying the last bond of love they had.
But now Raine had a second chance, and she wasn’t going to blow it just because Max was back in town. No matter how much her heart fluttered when she’d seen him, no matter how sexy and handsome he looked, no matter how heated his gaze was when he looked at her.
Raine had more important priorities now, like making sure this legal guardianship of her cousin’s baby went through and keeping her grandmother’s home from going into foreclosure. Since she wasn’t exactly flush with cash, Raine had used the rest of her meager savings and had taken out a loan against the property in order to pay for the adoption.
However, none of that had felt like a sacrifice to her, because Jill had entrusted Raine with Abby...and Raine wasn’t about to disappoint her. So there was no way in hell she’d go down without a fight...not after getting nearly everything she’d ever wanted. Where there was a will, there was a way, and Raine had more will than anything else.
* * *
Max helped his mother to her bedroom, which was now a guest room on the first floor. With her being a little lethargic at times, he’d made sure all of her things were on the first floor so she didn’t have to climb steps.
Although she would say she was fine, he could see that she was tired and just being stubborn. He knew she’d be even more so when her radiation treatments started. So he’d let her keep her pride and just keep his mouth shut, but he would make her as comfortable as possible, which was why he’d made sure the nurse who had been here the past two days would stay on and come by for a few hours a day.
As he settled her into bed, he eased down to sit beside her.
“Care to tell me what Raine was doing here?” he asked.
His mother rested against her plush pillows. “She brought me a lovely gift bag.”
Narrowing his eyes, Max gave her a skeptical look. “So she just stopped by, because she knew you’d had surgery, and now you two are all chummy?”
Elise laced her fingers together across her lap and smiled. “Actually, no. During the past several summers when I’ve been staying here, she’s taken care of the landscaping, brought me fresh vegetables, fruits and eggs.”
“Wait, back up.” Max held up a hand, even more confused than he’d been seconds ago. “Raine does the landscaping?”
“During the summer months, she does a great deal of it. Just the flower beds, Max. You don’t have to look so angry. We have another man do the grass cutting.”
Raine worked for his mother? What the hell had happened to her dreams? To her trust fund? She shouldn’t have to work odd landscaping jobs for his mother. The thought of those small, dainty hands marred with calluses bothered him.
Most of the shallow women he knew back in L.A. wouldn’t dream of doing their own landscaping, let alone someone else’s.
“Who else does she work for in the summer?”
Elise shrugged a delicate shoulder. “Several families around here. Not her own, of course. Her mother is mortified that Raine does so much manual labor.”
“And what kind of manual labor does she do?” he asked.
“She’s quite the gardener and farmer. She prides herself on growing her own organic plants to keep them as natural and healthy as possible. Her grandmother would be so pleased.”
Max knew Raine had never felt a familial bond with anyone other than her cousin, Jill, and her grandmother. He’d seen firsthand how that elderly woman had catered to Raine, showed her all she would need to know about running a farm, raising animals and growing gardens. Raine’s maternal grandmother was accepted in Lenox because she was sweet and elderly but when a twenty-something woman tries to follow in those footsteps...well, he assumed that bohemian lifestyle didn’t go over so well in the posh, hoity-toity land of tea sippers and pearl wearers.
“I just saw her house,” Max stated. “It needs quite a bit of work. I can’t believe she’d let it get like that.”
His mother shrugged. “None of my business. But if she doesn’t take care of it, the Historical Society will come in and make her. That house is a landmark in Lenox, even with the barns. In fact those barns are kept up better than her house. That girl cares more about the animals and the people around her than she does her own comfort.”
As much as Max wanted to know more about Raine, his mother looked tired as her eyelids were growing heavy. He would be here for a few months, so there was no doubt he’d find out all he wanted about Raine and her new life.
His life was always splashed all over the internet and in the tabloids...or the life the media tended to fabricate. There was no doubt Raine knew more about his life over the years than he knew about hers. It wasn’t like he’d find anything if he did a Google search on her name...at least nothing of use.
“Is there anything I can get you before I go?” he asked, turning his attention back to his mom.
His mother grabbed his hand and squeezed. “No, I’m just glad you’re here.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, Mom.”
“Please, Max, don’t make this about your father.” Her eyes held his, a sad smile forming on her lips. “He’s busy this time of year.”
Max nodded, really not wanting to get into this argument again. “He’s been busy his whole life, Mom. I’m not here to fight, but I also won’t pretend that it’s okay to put work before family, because it’s not. I work across the country, and I’m here.”
Her eyes misted. “All I’ve ever wanted is for the two of you to make peace. That’s all.”
Guilt weighed heavily on Max because he knew of his mother’s wishes, but he and Thomas Ford would never get along, because they viewed life from opposite ends of the spectrum.
Max leaned forward, kissing his mother on the cheek. “Good night, Mom. See you in the morning.”
He turned off the light on his way out of the room and pulled the door shut behind him. It was odd spending the night in his old home. The memories that filled these halls, these rooms, played through his mind like a movie. The glimpses he caught seemed like another lifetime, another person.
As he went back downstairs, he recalled the time he’d snuck Raine in after they’d first started dating. His parents had been out at some charity dinner and wouldn’t be home for hours. He knew they wouldn’t approve, and to be honest, that just made the clandestine encounter all the more appealing.
He’d never forget how it had felt kissing her in that dark foyer as soon as they’d stepped through the door. As he stood at the base of the steps now, he could still see that young couple, arms intertwined, lips locked. Max had waited weeks to get her alone to kiss her, and she’d been so worth the wait.
Max sighed, raking a hand over his face. Teenage love was so complicated at the time, but looking back, he realized that was the best experience of his life. He and Raine had had something special, something he’d convinced himself could stand the test of distance and time.
But no matter how many letters he had written, emails he had sent or calls he had made, she’d never acknowledged him after he left. And he refused to tell anyone how deeply her rejection had hurt. Then and now. Although years had passed since they’d last seen each other, they’d once been very much in love. So how could Raine be so cold and act like they’d shared nothing?
Max was still recovering from that heartache—and seeing her up close, knowing she had a baby, a life, only twisted that knife a little deeper into his already wounded heart.
Three
The snow wasn’t letting up at all and neither was Abby. Raine had no clue how mothers had more than one child. And twins? Mercy, those women deserved a special place in heaven. She was having a hard enough time just focusing on this one kid, not to mention holding down a job, fixing dinners, showering, taking a bathroom break...
But Raine had always wanted to be a mother, and she would not trade a moment of the sleepless nights for anything. Especially since Jill had needed Raine, and there was no way Raine could turn her back on her cousin when she needed someone the most.
Being shut out of your family because of decisions you made was the common connection she and Jill shared. They’d always been close, but this baby truly secured that tight band around their love.
And regardless of genetics or DNA, Abby was 100 percent Raine’s. From the moment the precious baby girl had tightened her chubby little hand around Raine’s finger, she knew no greater bond could exist. Even those accidental gassy smiles were like another stamp on her heart, solidifying the fact that Raine couldn’t love Abby any more even if Raine herself had given birth to Abby.
Hearing the growing cries, Raine shook the bottle on her way back to the nursery. Early morning sunlight spilled through the window, and she picked up the fussy baby and prayed to God that, after this bottle, Abby would sleep for a couple hours. Because Raine truly didn’t know how much longer she could go on little to no sleep.