“The governor’s military appreciation ball,” I say. “It’s an annual charity event held here in San Antonio at Fort Sam. I need to call Gabriel back.” I grab Rick’s arm. “I can handle him. I promise.”
His jaw sets hard and his gaze turns skyward, seeming to battle some internal argument, seconds ticking by before he glances down at me. “Buy time. Stay away from him. That’s your mission. And most importantly, avoid in-person contact with him.”
My cellphone rings again and I glance down at Gabriel’s number. “I got this,” I promise.
He gives a nod and I answer the call, steeling myself to perform the uncomfortable fiancée routine in front of Rick. “Hi,” I answer tightly, too tightly. I don’t sound normal. I just can’t play this game with Gabriel while Rick’s eyes burn holes in my face. I turn away. No. I don’t just turn away. I’m now facing one of the two exits that lead out of the kitchen; this one to the hallway leading to the other side of the living room. I take it. I step into the hallway and pause there. Rick is the reason I don’t go further. I’m not shutting him out. That’s not what this is. I’m just trying to survive this—all of this.
“Hi, buttercup,” Gabriel greets and I can tell he’s on speakerphone. “I tried to call you,” he adds, just a hint of accusation in his tone.
“I’m sick,” I say and truly I sound sick like I’m about to throw up because I am. Talking to him makes me sick. How did I ever touch this man? How did I ever say yes to this man? “I’ve been laying here on the bathroom floor trying to get the energy to call you back.”
“Are you still at your father’s?”
For reasons I can’t explain, this question feels like a trap, or like it could become a trap. “Home,” I reply. “I came home. I thought it was over. It’s not. I’m glad you’re not here. It must be more the flu than food poisoning and you can’t afford to catch it. When are you coming back?”
“Another day or two.” And just that fast, he moves on, past me being sick. “You remember we have yet another event next weekend, correct?”
“I do,” I say, the topic stirring the urgency of a conversation with Savage over what comes next for me with Gabriel. He’s going to come back. Then what? “I’ll certainly fit into any dress I like by then.”
“Get a new dress this time in advance,” he says, ignoring my reference to being sick. “I need you to look good.”
My defenses prickle. “You know, Gabriel,” I say, “you really can be insensitive.” It’s out before I can stop it.
“You know I think you’re beautiful.”
He still doesn’t get it. Like, at all. How am I engaged to this man?
“Do I need to rush home and show you?” he offers.
“No,” I say quickly. God, what am I doing? “No.” I take a step further into the hallway, panic threatening to win over. “I’m not that needy girl who has to be coddled. I’m sick and cranky and you don’t need to end up sick with me. Stay there. Do what you need to do. And I’ll pick up a new dress.”
“You could come here,” he says, but he doesn’t mean it. I hear that in his voice, thank God.
“Even if I wasn’t sick, I have a job,” I reply.
“Right. My architect fiancée. The voters are going to love you.” The voters, I think, not him. Not that I care, but it certainly proves that even before I knew Gabriel’s true colors, before I started to sour on him, I ignored things I should not have; too many things. “I’ll see you Friday,” he says, his only indication he’ll be gone all week. And just that quick, he’s hung up. Good. He’s gone. He can stay gone. I slide my phone back into my pocket and turn to find Rick standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a half-lidded stare on his stoic features. He’s so big. So powerful. So overwhelmingly male. He’s also not happy, but neither am I. This isn’t a comfortable situation.
“He’s not back until the weekend,” I say.
“You didn’t want me to hear that conversation.” His tone is flat. Hard.
I don’t even think about denial. “It’s hard enough to pretend with him. It’s impossible when I’m looking at you.”
“You feel guilty.”
“No,” I say firmly. “I don’t. No guilt. Not with him, at least.” I close the space between us, stopping in front of him. “Rick, I—”
“Said yes to him.”
My defenses prickle. “You know why I said yes. You know, Rick. I was protecting my father. And even if that weren’t the case, you were gone forever. You left me alone.” My hand settles on his chest, closing around his shirt. “I never stopped loving you. That’s why I couldn’t see how bad he was. I was trying to hide from how damn much I missed you. I know you know that.”