“He failed?”
“Yes, baby. He failed. I’ll tell you about it over coffee and cake.”
“I’d like that, but, Rick, I need to know—I mean—last night—”
“I told you. I fucked up. I’m not going to make that mistake again.” He leans in and kisses me, a deep, melt-me-right-out-of-my-shoes kind of kiss and by the time it’s over, we’re in the bathroom and he’s shutting the door.
“Rick, what if someone catches us?”
“The great thing about being with a man like me, baby, is I’ll just kill anyone that gets in our way.”
“Are you trying to scare me away?”
“Yes, and I hope like hell it doesn’t work.” His hands go to my waist. “Baby, I am who I am. I own it. I can’t be anyone else.”
“Good. Own it. Please own it, because when you don’t, last night happens.”
He cups my backside. “Oh well. I think maybe me being a bit rough turns you on. You do like it a little rough. Maybe I’ll spank that pretty little ass right here.”
“No.” I catch his shirt in my hand. “No. Do not even think about it. You will do no such thing.”
“Oh come on, baby. Remember that one time—”
“No, Rick. Not here.”
He laughs low and wicked. “I’ll behave, but let’s not go home yet. Let’s have that coffee and chocolate cake. It’s been a long time since we did this.”
He’s referencing how this became our place. We’d come here, we’d work and talk, and repeat. It was special.
“I’d like that.”
“Good, because it’s been too long.”
He strokes my hair again, a familiar action that I didn’t realize until now I missed terribly. He was always touching me, always tender, a man I always knew had a dark side. But I also knew that part of him was one part of a complex, wonderful man. A man who just happens to have become a surgeon and an assassin. Point made.
There is so much more to Rick Savage than meets the eye. I always knew that about him. I always loved that about him. I need to make sure he knows that, too. Now. Tonight. There is so much that needs to be said between us. Now. Tonight.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Savage
Sitting with Candace, sharing coffee, cake, and conversation, I am, perhaps the most human I’ve been in eight years, right here, right now. “Did you search my father’s office? And did you find anything?”
“I did and yes. A book with something hidden inside.”
“What was it?”
“I saved it for you and me to look at together. He’s your father. I thought—”
“Thank you. Thank you, Rick.” Her voice is low, affected. “There you go being a killer with a sensitive side again.”
The compliment punches me in the gut and I lean forward and grab her hands. “Baby, I’m terrified every time you turn me into a hero. I’m not a hero.”
“Yes, you are. And you know what? Until you see yourself that way, there will always be another last night. Or at least, until you stop calling yourself a killer. And I need to, too.”
“No. No, you don’t. Because I need to know you see me clearly. I need to know that you aren’t going to wake up next to me one morning and freak the fuck out.”
“Waking up next to you, and then having you leave again, that is what will freak me the fuck out. I can’t go through that, Rick. So if that’s what’s going to happen, step back now.”
“I’m not stepping back. I’m stepping close. And I’m holding onto you this time.”
She reaches over the table and traces my goatee, searching my face. “I’m trusting you with my heart, Rick Savage.”
“And I will guard it with my own.”
Her eyes search mine, her fingers stroking the scar on my cheek. I catch her hand. “Does it bother you?”
“No. I’d call it sexy if I didn’t know it a war wound. Tell me that story.”
I pull back, my hands going to my knees, gaze sliding left, memories ripping through me that I smash. “I’ve seen and done things that I can’t make go away. You know that, right?”
“Yes,” she says, no hesitation in her reply. “I know.”
“That’s all I was for a while—those things. You remind me that there’s something more. That I’m something more.”
“What happened with your father?” she asks, the topic of me being more, taking her there. Of course, it takes her there. No one knows better than her how low my father took me.
“I declined his request that we match scalpels. He took me to your father’s office with a little too much willingness. He even invited me for coffee.”
Her eyes go wide. “Your father? He invited you for coffee? I’m confused.”
“Yeah, I know, right? He wants something. I don’t know what. I doubt I’ll give him the chance to tell me. I would have been back sooner, but the chief of staff, right along with my father, cornered me. Tried to recruit me back.”