“You made it your house when you asked me for forever, Rick. You made it mine again when you said goodbye.”
He steps toward me and I back away.
I point at him, a silent warning to stay where he’s at in the action, warning bells and reality carving out a piece of me. “Why are you here?”
“For you,” he says, his voice low and rough.
I shake my head, rejecting that idea. “There’s more to it.”
“Candace—”
It’s not denial. I know him. Tattoos and years without me be damned, I do still know this man and I know what that means. “I’m right. You didn’t come for me at all.”
“I’m not leaving without you.”
Words.
Words he feels he has to say, maybe he even wants to mean them, but he doesn’t. I’m just a blast from the past that just happened to cross his path again. “Yes,” I say. “Yes, you are leaving without me.” I turn away from him, remarkably without tears. I’ve cried so many tears for this man. If I let myself cry for him again, I’ll cry an ocean, and not one that turns to heat and passion. An ocean of pain and destruction. He’s going to destroy me before this is over if I let him. Actually, I’m pretty sure I already have. I all but run out of the bedroom, toward the kitchen. I have to find my ring. And my phone. What if Gabriel called? What if he had someone check on me? What if he finds out about Rick? I’ve put my father at risk.
I cut down the hallway and into the kitchen where I scan the floor and go down on my knees to look under the cabinet. Rick is suddenly beside me, pulling me to my feet. “Are you really looking for that damn ring? While wearing my damn shirt?”
“You wanted me to take it off.”
“Only because I want you naked again.”
“You’re leaving. I’m here alone. I have to deal with things going on in my life right now. I have to deal with it now and in my way. And you have to leave.”
He turns me and presses me against the island. “Because of him?”
“Because I am not a game for you to play when you happen to have a job that brings you here.”
“That’s not what this is.” He presses his hands on the island on either side of me. “I came here because there’s a situation I have to deal with, you’re right about that, but I only came because you’re here. Baby, I can’t change the past. I know you think me leaving was selfish. What’s selfish is me staying, but it happened. What I knew would happen if I saw you again. I can’t walk away. I’m that selfish bastard that won’t walk away again.”
My chest tightens with emotion and I whisper, “How do I know that?”
“Because you know me. You know me like no one else has ever known me.”
My hand goes to his arm, over his Green Beret tattoo. “I didn’t even know you were a Green Beret.”
“But you knew I was a killer?” he challenges. “I won’t lie. I’ve done things I don’t ever want you to know that I did, but I need you to know, I always thought they were for the right reasons.”
“But they weren’t?”
“No. No, they weren’t. I’m not a gentle man. And yet, I’m yours. I will always be your man. Now you have to decide what to do with me.” He cups my face and kisses me. “I have much to say to you and you to me, but—”
“But?”
“You have to pee. And I have to order pizza.”
I laugh and I love that he makes me laugh. I love that this moment feels like us. “I—I really do.” I give another choked laugh. “And pizza with you sounds really good.”
“I need you to know that I will protect you. I need you to tell me what trouble you’re in. And I know you are.” He lifts me off the counter and kisses me. “I’ll take care of it and you.” He turns me to the doorway, and leans in to say, “For the record, I love the fuck out of you in my shirt.” He smacks my backside and sets me in motion. I yelp and hurry forward, feeling more womanly than I have in a very long time, and while I could just leave on that high, I remember his father. I remember a man who never felt like he ever belonged, except with me, I thought. I stop at the doorway and decide right then that I love this man. Even if he hurts me again, I can’t hurt him. I can’t stand the idea of hurting him.
I turn to look at him. “It’s always felt like our place.” And remembering his hands on my backside earlier and his comment about what pleases me, I add, “And no one ever figured out what I like but you. Just you, Rick Savage.” And with that, I leave the room.