When we arrived back at the castle, I heard the church bells chime to call for evening vespers. It felt much later to me, and no wonder. After the day I’d had, I was surprised I hadn’t nodded off on Rosie’s back as we rode. Maksim rode ahead of me as we neared the stables, where we were met by two grooms who took our horses to be fed and watered.
As we turned to make our way for the castle gates, I had a momentary flutter of panic, thinking how furious my mother would be with me for running away. But then I remembered she wasn’t there. Nobody was. It was just Maksim and me, free to do as we pleased. A shiver ran up my spine at the thought. A shiver of pleasure and nervousness. I knew something was in store for me, something important and life-changing, but it was a mystery to me how it would feel, what he would do. I was completely at his mercy.
He took my hand in his and led me away from the main entrance, down a narrow path that bordered the far wall.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
Even though the light was low, I caught the look he shot me in response to my question. A brief narrowing of his eyes. “You’ll know when you get there.”
Even now, with everything out in the open between us, his temper was still very much right there under the surface. He had no patience for silly questions before and he still didn’t now. Some things hadn’t changed. Even though I loved him, I still feared him. That hadn’t changed either.
And, if I were perfectly honest with myself, I was thrilled that part hadn’t changed. His anger drew me to him and it always had.
Holding my hand tightly and possessively, he led me back through the camellia garden, littered with fallen petals, and around to a disused door. Or what I thought was a disused door. But when he opened it, the hinges didn’t squeak, nor was there any dust or dirt on the worn stone threshold.
I saw, in fact, that it was a secret entrance, all his own. Hand in hand, with me following behind because the passage was so narrow, we passed through a dark stairway that smelled richly of moss and rain. From there, we emerged into a narrow hallway. I had never been to this part of the castle before, and it took me a moment to realize where we were. We were on Maksim’s side of the castle, and he was leading me directly to his chambers. My heart somersaulted in my chest. I’d never been there, never been anywhere near. But I had yearned to do so for so long.
I’d never risked coming down here before. Brave and a little bit reckless though I might be, I wasn’t stupid. It was such forbidden territory that it still felt that way now. Perhaps because I was so tired, I flashed back to our kiss in the forest, and the way he’d turned on me after that. I couldn’t bear for the same to happen now. I couldn’t bear it if all of this turned out to be some wicked joke.
He felt my slight resistance as he led me toward the big solid door of his bed chamber. He stopped and turned to face me, his strong jaw highlighted by the flickering flames from one of the nearby torches mounted on the walls. I swallowed hard, looking up at him.
“Tell me,” he said.
I knew better than to put him off or pretend it was nothing. He’d see right through that at once.
“Please don’t turn on me again. Please don’t make me feel foolish, the way you did when you first kissed me.”
He stepped into me, pushing me up against the stone wall, running his thumb over my cheek.
“I had to do it then. I had to make you hate me, for your safety and mine. You had to get away from me, Anika, before I did something truly foolish. But I’ll never fucking do it again. I will never turn away from you. And you will never turn away from me. I promise.”
I ran my fingertips over the close-cropped hair at the base of his neck. He tilted his head into my touch, closing his eyes, and kissed my palm as if to seal his promise.
All the layers of protection I’d kept between us were now gone. He had made me more vulnerable than I’d ever been, and was about to make me more vulnerable still. I was overjoyed and terrified all at once. I rose up on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around him.
“My heart is yours to break,” I whispered.
“Never,” he said. In one smooth gesture, he scooped me off the ground and carried me down the hallway. We stopped at a big oak door, where he held me briefly with one arm to unlock it, and then kicked it open carrying me over the threshold in his massive arms.