My eyes widened. There was more?
“I think I’ve told you how stubborn you are, how curious and now, even jealous, and you’re also quick tempered, and you’ve got the meanest right cross of all time.”
“Hey,” I said, losing a little of my happy buzz.
“But I get more joy from your smiles than anything else,” he continued. “I look at you, and I want you. Actually, I have only to think about you to want you. There’s a sweetness to you, a vulnerability you allow so few people to see, but I’m one of the lucky ones and I’ll be forever grateful.”
Oh.
Who was I kidding? I’d already leaped off the cliff.
“You’re mine, Ali Bell.”
Silence.
“Can I talk now?” I asked.
He nodded stiffly.
Did he fear what I had to say? “Breaking up with you was the toughest thing I’ve ever gone through. At least I thought so at the time. Staying away from you proved tougher. From the moment our eyes first met, I’ve been drawn to you. Not just because you’re the hottest guy I’ve ever met, but also because you have a core of courage and honor and when I’m with you, I feel safe and protected, and even cherished. I might be yours, but you are certainly mine, and I’m never letting you go. I love you, too, Cole Holland.”
“Thank God.” His hold on me tightened.
Now for the bad news. “When I’m no longer able to use the antidote,” I said softly, “I want to use the flames on me.”
“No.”
“Yes,” I said. “You must.”
“I can’t lose you.”
“Maybe you won’t.” To-do: survive.
“Maybe I will.”
“Faith,” I said. “Have faith in me, in this. The last time you didn’t, we fell apart.”
“Ali—”
“Light will chase away the darkness,” I interjected.
“Ali,” he repeated again.
“I know. I know it’s hard.” I kissed him and said nothing more. But I didn’t change my mind.
I never would.
Chapter 29
End at a New Beginning
For the next week, I floated on clouds of bliss. I stayed dosed up on the antidote, so I stayed somewhat strong, though I had moments of utter weakness and moments of depraved hunger.
Z.A. was fighting.
Cole rarely left my side. He showed me the Christmas present he’d gotten for me—a drawer in his bedroom. I’d jumped into his arms, wound my legs around his waist and whooped like a madwoman. He’d broken up with Mackenzie when she moved in, citing things were getting too serious. For me, he said, things couldn’t get serious enough.
Afterward, he’d taken me to visit Jaclyn. Poor girl. Since our rescue, she had turned away every visitor. Me, she’d let inside her bedroom, and she’d hugged me and sobbed until she’d passed out from exhaustion.
I was now determined to draw her back into the world.
Wren and Poppy had been there, hanging out with Justin. They knew he and Cole were friends once again, so I was a little surprised to learn Wren and Justin were still dating. I was also surprised when the girls talked to me, as if we were still on decent terms, and promised to call.
Change. No matter where we were, it always showed up.
Right now all of the slayers and those in the know were in Cole’s barn, gathered around a huge TV screen, watching a video of five-year-old Cole being trained by his father to fight zombies.
He was beyond adorable—Cole, not his father—with a mop of black hair and big violet eyes. He got a little overeager with the nunchaku and nailed his dad between the legs. The crowd burst into laughter.
I was perched on his lap. He grinned at me, saying, “Yeah. I’m just that good.”
I loved this playful side of him.
Who was I kidding? I loved every side of him.
Kat, who sat beside us, shouted, “Rewind that!” and threw popcorn at the screen. “Mr. Holland’s expression was all, like, oh, no, I’m going to need my balls reattached, and Cole’s was all, you’re about to lose something else, sucka.”
She and Frosty had not broken up once since she’d confessed her illness. And Reeve’s talk with Bronx had gone better than she’d dreamed—and exactly as Kat and I had expected. He was fully committed to her and demanded exclusivity.
Everyone was so happy. Even Veronica seemed to be at peace. (I wondered if she’d made use of Gavin again.)
I rested my head on Cole’s shoulder, and he hugged me tight. We still hadn’t had sex. As much time as he’d spent with me, Nana had spent with me. And if not Nana, Mr. Holland or Mr. Ankh. Or Kat and Reeve. We were never left alone, and I got it, I did. Everyone knew Cole’s kisses sometimes overwhelmed me, allowing Z.A. to take over my body.
Sometimes not even a kiss was necessary. And oh, glory, now was one of those times. I was rubbing my nose against the length of his neck, I realized, barely even conscious of it, getting caught up in the sweetness of his scent. My mouth watered.
Hungry, I thought.
No. Oh, no.
Smell so good.
No! Never.
Must feed!
No.
Shaking, I held my breath and stood. “I...have to go,” I said.
“Something wrong?” he asked, looking up at me and frowning. He held on to my waist, keeping me in place.
“I need another dose.”
The frown intensified. “But you had one only half an hour ago.”
“I know.” A sickening heat swept over me, causing me to both sweat and shiver. A sensation I knew well. Only this one was far more intense. A strange buzz replaced the noise in the room. “I...I...” I backed away from him, shaking my head. “It’s worse this time.”
“Ali?” Kat reached out to grab me, only to shriek in pain and jerk back.
Frosty jumped up and threw her behind him.
Cole jumped to his feet, as well. I glanced down. The red flames had returned, crackling over my hands. My human hands. The fire was so strong it had breached my spirit and seeped out of my flesh. As I fought to douse it, the blaze spread.
Everyone but Cole scrambled away from me. “Ali,” he said, approaching.
“Don’t touch me,” I croaked. “I’m going to walk out of here, and give myself a final dose. Then someone is going to use their flames on me. Please.”
He violently shook his head. “They’d have to get through me, and that’s not happening.”
Z.A. whispered inside my head. You think you could have lasted this long if I hadn’t let you? I’ve been waiting for this moment, when the antidote would no longer help you. So go ahead. Dose yourself again. See what happens.