And then I took her in my arms and faced hell on earth.
Sixteen
Rose
The smell of burning greens was heavy in the air.
I could hear Carina’s laughter echoing in the garden, the maniacal sound feeling like a nightmare I could never escape. My blood felt freezing cold in my veins, running through my body and freezing my heart into a solid slab of ice.
I wanted Thorn. My body yearned for him, my mind screamed for him to help me. Yet I felt frozen on the spot. I tried to move, one step at a time, and collapsed to the ground. The smoke was heavy in the air as I attempted to pick myself up, my body slow and heavy. It felt impossible to move an inch. The smoke… The fire… The laughter echoing through the place I’d loved so much. All gone now. All gone.
My eyelids felt heavy, desperate to close, desperate to get some rest. But I knew I had to keep moving, keep going. The second I closed my eyes and gave in, it would all be over. I wouldn’t be able to move anymore. I’d fall into a dreamless sleep which a part of me knew would be the end of my story. And I couldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t let Thorn lose me. Couldn’t let myself leave him.
I forced my eyes open and opened my mouth to cry for help, but no sound came out. I wanted to scream for him, and my mind was crying out, desperate for him to hear, eager to convey that I was in danger, that I needed him, that he had to help me. But the only sound that left my lips was a small croak, pathetic in its volume, barely audible with the sound of Thorn’s memories burning brightly around me.
The words were ringing in my head, the cries for help just a desperate whisper on my lips. The thought of Carina’s betrayal seared through me like a knife in my back. I had been so blind, so oblivious to her scheming behind my back. I’d been foolish enough to believe her lies, trust her and convince myself we’d be able to move past everything that had happened and be friends again. Now I knew it was all a lie. A fucking ruse to get rid of me so she could have Thorn for herself. Finally, she’d shown her true colors.
My limbs felt heavy as I began to drag my body through the dirt and grass, feeling the thorns of the rosebushes cutting into my skin, damaging and hurting my flesh as I tried to crawl to safety. But I didn’t make it far. The smoke was heavy in my lungs, making my eyes water, and my lungs felt full of it. A small breath of air seemed like an impossible feat, getting out of there alive growing more and more improbable as I slowly came to a stop on the ground. My breaths were ragged, my eyes sore. I felt a deep sense of disquiet, a stubbornness telling me I wouldn’t go this way, I had to keep fighting for myself, for Thorn. But I couldn’t. I was drowsy, drugged and tired. Sleepy. The tiredness seeped through every pore of my body, and I needed the rest. Needed to close my eyes. Just for a second. Just for a moment.
Slowly, heavily, my eyelids drooped and I closed my eyes firmly against the smoke assaulting my senses. I started to accept it in my drowsy state, slowly admitting that this was the end, that she’d gotten the better of me. That I’d die in Thorn’s rose garden, burning down with the rest of his memories. How fucking fitting.
I heard his voice first, calling out to me, desperate to wake me up. But I knew it was too late already. I reached out to him with heavy arms that wouldn’t move, my legs feeling like they were leaden, leaving me sprawled out on the ground.
“Thorn,” I whispered, yet no sound came out.
His arms around me felt like an embrace sent to console me, but they didn’t feel real. My eyes wouldn’t open. My lungs wouldn’t work. The smoke. The smoke was everywhere, making it impossible to breathe. I coughed weakly. I tried to stay in this world, in our world, in the world of Thorn and Rose. But I was being pulled away. I was being taken from him, torn out of his arms, going higher and higher until I could see my body there, on the ground, on the grass of the rose garden, with his arms around me, his thunderous voice cursing and calling out my name, demanding I returned to him.
His words echoed in my mind.
“No! Fucking no, come back to me. You’re fucking mine, Rose. You don’t go anywhere if I don’t allow it. You’re not fucking leaving me; do you hear me?”