“You’re none of those things,” he said.
“Yep. Especially not small,” she quipped bitterly. Maybe she should be a little less bitchy and just accept his apology, but, yeah . . . she was feeling a bit petty today. “Just ask Mother.”
“Fuck. Tina, I’m sorry.” He sounded so miserable she did her own mental swearing. It wasn’t as much fun as she’d thought it would be to let him flounder, so—after the briefest moment of hesitation—she let him off the hook.
“You can’t apologize for all of them, Smith, and you’re not responsible for what the rest of them have said or how they made me feel.”
“But I am responsible for not protecting you from them. For allowing everybody—including me—to make you feel inadequate.”
Tina toyed with her pen, spinning it endlessly round on her desk.
“Smith, did you know?” She asked the question she’d never been brave enough to ask before.
“Know? Know what?” His blank question was all the information she needed, but she answered his question nonetheless.
“When they sent me away to Scotland? For my so-called gap year? I was pregnant.”
“Oh Christ, Tina. I didn’t know that.”
“It kind of messed me up a bit.”
Her brother was quiet again—another long silence—but this time she knew he was there; she could hear his ragged breathing as he fought to bring whatever he was feeling under control.
“The baby?” he finally asked. “You gave it up?”
Tina swallowed dryly. Saying the words out loud never got easier.
“He died.”
Her brother swore again, his voice hoarse with raw emotion.
“I’m so sorry, Tina. I should have been there to support you. I should have been a better brother.”
She didn’t respond to that; there was nothing to say . . . because he was right: he should have been a better brother. But she should have been a better sister too. She could have brought his failings as a big brother to his notice, or . . . she could have reached out and told him she needed him. Needed his help and love and support. He would have given her that love and support. She could see that now.
“The father?” he asked suddenly, his voice filled with menace.
“He was never in the picture.”
“He was in the picture long enough to conceive a kid.”
“Drop it—it’s ancient history.”
“It’s not ancient history to me,” he pointed out, his voice hoarse with suppressed anger.
“I know, and maybe I shouldn’t have told you.”
“You should have told me! You should have told me ten years ago!”
“I thought you knew. I thought Conrad and Kyle knew too. I thought you were ashamed of me.”
“Fuck.” His voice broke on the word, and he sounded helpless and sad and angry all at the same time. “You were a kid. You should have had support and love. You shouldn’t have been carted off to another country to face all of that alone. Mom and Dad have a shitload of explaining to do!”
“Leave it, Smith. You’ll just rake it all up again. I’ve moved on.”
Mostly.
“I want to help,” he said decisively, thankfully changing the subject. “With the restaurant. Let me help.”
“Thank you for offering. I-I think I’ve got it under control now. I have a marketing plan in motion. But if I need help, I’ll let you know. I think this one is going to succeed, Smith. I really do.”
“We don’t have much time,” Tina said. She had rushed over to Harris’s place after her phone call with Smith. Eager to see Harris after learning about how he had stood up for her against her brother. And desperate to reward him for his unexpectedly sweet gesture.
Harris looked up from his laptop, visibly shocked to find her standing at the entrance to his room. She stepped inside and shut the door, leaning back against it and toeing off her pumps in the process.
“What are you—” He stopped in midsentence when she surged toward where he was sitting on the side of his bed and grabbed the laptop from his grasp in clumsy haste. She set it on the side table before placing her hands on his shoulders and pushing him back. He offered no resistance, his eyes curious as he lay on the bed with his knees bent and his feet still planted on the floor.
She grinned at him, pulled the tight skirt of her dress up to her thighs, flashing the front of her lacy blue panties, before she straddled him, her knees planted on the bed on either side of his thighs. His T-shirt rode up, revealing his hard abs and the slight sprinkling of hair trailing down from his belly button to disappear into the waistband of his jeans. So sexy.
She fumbled with the belt buckle and then clumsily went to work on the button fly of his jeans. Tina wasn’t too adept at undressing a man, but what she lacked in expertise, she hoped she made up for in enthusiasm.