The shackles were releasing, slowly, but with each day, I came closer to having complete control over my life. I’d never belong to anyone again. I rubbed my finger over the branding on my wrist which read ‘Owned.’
Never.
“Haven, get in here,” Dana shouted. “Your phone’s ringing.”
I answered to Katy Perry after it rang through the chorus twice. That had been Crisis’ doing before he went on tour and I hadn’t figured out how to change it. I was technically unsavvy since Olaf never allowed me a phone or access to the internet and everything in the house had passwords.
I glanced at the screen—Ream. “Hello?”
“Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling for an hour.”
I hadn’t talked to him today. I talked to him every day. Saying my brother was over-protective was an understatement, but I couldn’t fault him for it. He’d thought I was dead for the last twelve years. He sacrificed his innocence for me. He killed a man for me.
“I went out with friends.” And this was exactly what he needed to hear.
Silence, but I could hear his footsteps and the slight jostle of the phone as he paced. “Why didn’t you take your phone with you? I was about to call Luke.”
“I didn’t need it. Dana had hers and Crisis and Kite were with—”
“What?” I pulled the phone away from my ear. “What the hell? Where are you? Why are Crisis and Kite with you? I thought Luke was.”
I’d known this was coming, and it was better he heard it from me now than walk in here tomorrow and find out.
Ream was saying something to someone and I guessed it was Kat who, I’d discovered in the few months before they left on tour, was pretty good at calming Ream down. Stubborn and determined, just like him.
“They’re at the farm?”
“Yeah.” And as I said the next words, I realized it was true. “Ream, it’s good. It’s . . . nice to have them here.”
“I don’t want him near you.” He made a rough growl noise. “If he lays his hands on you . . .”
“Ream.” Ever since Crisis jumped off the cliff with me, my brother had this idea that Crisis was interested in me. “He’d never do that and I think you know that.”
Silence. Then, “I still don’t like it. He has some chick he fucked following him around. I don’t want that near you.”
“I’m fine.” And I certainly wasn’t worried about some chick. “I have to go. Dana is here and we’re about to start a movie.”
“Shit, Haven. I’m sorry. I know it’s been hard on you with us around and I didn’t want them coming back to the farm. I wanted it just to be us and Kat.”
I didn’t say anything because as soon as I found a job and saved enough money, I’d move out. I wanted that for me just as much as I wanted it for them.
“I’ll be back tomorrow late morning. Sophie and John are having a big dinner for us. I know you’ve avoided meeting them, but they really want you to come, sis.” I closed my eyes briefly when he said sis. It was like a waterfall of warmth washing over me and yet I was afraid to feel it, to get pulled into the shelter of my big brother again. “I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, but . . . shit, they were there when I needed someone after you were gone. I was in a really bad place and I don’t think I would’ve pulled through living that year in child services. They knew that when they saw me. Fuck, no one fosters a seventeen-year-old kid.” My hand tightened on the phone as I thought of what Ream had suffered. Maybe it all stemmed from our mother, but what killed us was my weakness to let Gerard do what he did and then my addiction that ended up separating us and taking us on vastly different paths.
I’d never let Ream hurt again because of me. Not the one person who had sacrificed everything in order to protect me.
“Maybe.” That was all I could give right now. I didn’t want parents, but I heard the pleading in Ream’s voice. He wanted this.
Crisis’ music cranked louder and I quickly said goodbye before Ream started in again about the guys being here. Dana sat cross-legged on the couch, the television on and the previews playing in the background. Kite surprisingly had joined her and sat in the leather chair, his legs resting on the coffee table while he sipped what looked like steaming coffee.
It was a strange feeling. Like I was missing something as I sat and watched the movie. I looked down at my phone in my hand as if hoping it would vibrate and I’d see a text from Crisis.
It didn’t and I wanted it to.
I WAS ACCUSTOMED to waking with a chick sucking on my cock or nursing a hangover that required a chick to suck on my cock. I had neither. My cock was rock hard and . . . I lifted the sheet, yeah pulsing and angry as fuck from lack of use . . . I needed to jerk off before I caught some strange disease associated with my recent cock-abuse. It had a purpose and not using it was just simply—abuse.
I reached for my phone and saw the time. Eight in the morning. When was the last time I saw that time? I’d fallen asleep last night lying on my bed with my headphones on, trying to forget about the girl downstairs who had scared the shit out me three times yesterday with whatever was fucking with her head. I was pissed-off, too. Not at her, at myself because I hadn’t been here for months. No one had. She’d been alone, except for Luke, and it was stupid for us to have gone on tour.
But I sure as hell was here now and I was going to do something about it. She may not respect me, shit I didn’t even know if she liked me, or just tolerated me. But she’d become someone I could talk to, even if it was only over text until recently.