I was about to give in and take the hay from Ream before Clifford kicked a hole through his door when Ream raised the hay over his head and tossed it like a basketball for the hoop. Clifford backed away just in time, and the hay disappeared into his stall. He snorted and began eating.
When Ream looked back at me, there was a determined expression on his face, confident and unwavering. Shit. There was nothing about Ream that was N.I.C.E.
“I made the mistake of not protecting Haven. I don’t repeat mistakes.” No, Ream contemplated all angles before he acted. Probably, another reason why he ran out on me as soon as he found out what he was dealing with. “Deny us all you want, Kat, but you’re not pushing me away.” He nodded toward Clifford. “I don’t trust or like them. But you do. So, I’ll learn.”
Ah fuck. “I’m dating Lance. You may think otherwise, but I don’t date or screw two guys at once.” I was trying to act like his words meant nothing to me, but really I was melting into a puddle of heated butter at his feet.
I flicked off the lights and we left the barn, Ream close beside me.
“The arguing, fighting, and hurting one another—that’s finished. We were friends first. I’m getting it back.” We walked several feet before he added, “And this guy you’re dating, he hurts you, that involves me, so he better watch his step.”
“Ream, he’s nice.”
He grunted. “You don’t like nice, Kat. Doesn’t do anything for that sassy attitude of yours. You’ll be bored with his nice, but try … and know when his nice doesn’t do anything for you … I’ll be waiting.” He lowered his voice, “’But, baby, I know what makes you wet and it isn’t nice.”
I snorted. “Full of yourself, aren’t you?” But he was right. He was on a whole other level than Lance. “It’s not all about the sex, Ream. Maybe that’s where you’ve gone off course.”
He was quiet until we reached the side door where he grabbed my arm before I could slip inside. “Sex is primal. And it’s ugly as fuckin’ hell. I know that better than anyone. But with you … with you it’s all beauty. You managed to obliterate the ugly, Kat.”
The electricity in the air sparked off in every direction. I held my breath and he was so close that if I stood on my tiptoes and leaned an inch forward, our lips would meet. But I couldn’t. No matter what my attraction was to Ream, I was trying to move forward and be with someone else.
“Nite,” I mumbled and made a dash for my bedroom. When I slammed the door behind me, I leaned up against it, my breathing harsh and ragged.
I had no clue what I was going to do living under the same roof as Ream and with him acting like he was. It threw me off balance and into complete chaos. I couldn’t let him back in. He may have kept my secret, but I didn’t trust him to not hurt me again.
I changed and brushed my teeth while staring at myself in the mirror. Maybe he felt like he could save me after failing with his sister? But I didn’t want that. Ream may think he can win me back with his games, but I wasn’t a prize to be won. Hadn’t Ream figured out yet that I couldn’t be fixed?
I tossed and turned for hours in bed before I finally gave in to my festering thoughts and got up. I quietly opened my door, listening for anyone awake, but the house was silent. I padded down the hallway to the sunroom, which was off Logan’s office. It was a small glass-enclosed room with one chair and ottoman and my easel and paints. I turned on the lights and stared at the painting I’d been working on over the last few weeks. It was an abstract of a herd of horses galloping head-on with dust kicked up and swirling around them.
I walked over to my easel, picked up the tubes of Payne’s gray and titanium white, spurted blobs on my palette, then began mixing until I had the perfect shade. Then I painted until the wee hours of the morning.
***
She was safe.
Nothing else mattered.
Nothing would touch her.
I swore to protect her at all costs.
But her beauty had emerged.
And he had noticed.
I had to protect her from him. From everyone.
Logan and Emily were gone by the time I rolled out of bed at nine. I never slept in but was unable to sleep due to the Ream-poison sloshing through my veins, so I was up painting until four in the morning before I managed to crash.
I felt the familiar signs of my body reacting to the stress and exhaustion, and I pulled out the little bottle in the back of my nightstand and slipped one of the green pills into my mouth. The needles did nothing to calm my nerves that shot off like jet speed sprinklers. But the pills did and I hoped it was enough to get me through the day.
There was a note on the fridge from Emily that she and Logan went to see the house with the real estate agent and then to visit Isabelle. She put a little winky face beside the xx. I knew exactly what they were doing, and I was really happy for them. Ream, Crisis, and Kite were no doubt still sleeping. I imagined their sleep schedules were all screwed up after touring.
I looked out the living room window on my way back to the sunroom with my coffee. I glanced out at the horse field hoping to catch a glimpse of Clifford. Hank usually turned them out around seven every morning.
My breath caught in my throat as I saw Ream standing at the fence line, his hand stroking Clifford’s muzzle. I stared for a few minutes, watching him look vulnerable and uncertain, while Clifford pushed and insisted on being patted.