“What exactly do you wanna know?” I ask, avoiding her gaze while I move around her quaint kitchen and set the ingredients on the counter. The other day, I felt like I was being watched too, and now I’m wondering if this is a coincidence.
“The events that led up to you getting arrested, and what it was like behind bars.”
I narrow my eyes as I look at her.
“Shit, sorry. You probably don’t want to discuss prison.”
Not particularly, but if it’ll keep her mind off those assholes following her, I’ll tell her what I can. We used to chat for hours between ripping off each other’s clothes. She’d want to know about the Army, and I’d tell her stories of the trouble my friends and I would get into during leave.
“It’s okay, I just haven’t really talked about it with anyone except Liam. Not even Everleigh knows all the details.”
“She only told me a little if I brought it up, but after a while, I stopped asking.”
“Why?” She tilts her head at me as I continue. “Why’d you stop?”
She shrugs with a faint blush. “Once I met Robert, I thought it was inappropriate. I didn’t want Everleigh thinking I was still hung up on you while I was dating another man.”
I arch a brow. “Were you still hung up on me?”
A small smile meets her lips. “I thought I was because I never had closure so I could properly move on. I tried to forget about you. But once I heard what happened, I asked Everleigh about you because I wanted to be there for her, too.”
“I’m truly sorry about that.” I frown at the sadness in her eyes. The day I left without her was one of the worst days of my life. “I appreciate you asking about me and being a support system for my sister. I know she took it hard.”
“Your grandparents did too.”
Guilt hits me hard as I think back to five years ago when Everleigh told me how they reacted to the news. I had done exactly what I tried to avoid—disappointed them.
“I didn’t do it,” I say, keeping my hands busy as I cut an onion. Something I’ve repeated so many damn times since I was charged.
“Everleigh told me.”
“Did you believe her?”
“Of course. And I believe you too. Regardless of how much time had passed, I knew you’d never be involved with illegal guns and drugs.”
“I didn’t deserve to go to prison for crimes I didn’t commit, but I was involved with some shady people. I never wanted to be a part of that lifestyle, but I did what I needed to help my friends.”
As I make the chili, I tell her about Liam and his arranged marriage to the mob princess. I talk about the day I got sentenced and the realization that nothing would be the same again. Then I admit to keeping her letters and having most of them memorized word for word.
“You do? Really?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?” I wash my hands, then dry them. When the chili boils, I turn the heat down to a low simmer.
“I don’t know…” she murmurs softly. “I guess I just thought you forgot about me after all this time, and—”
“Forgot?” I raise my brows. “Are you insane? You’re all I’ve thought about for years.”
Her cheeks turn bright red. Gemma lowers her eyes as if she’s embarrassed we’re talking about this.
“Gemma.” I step closer, tilting her chin up to look at me. “I could never forget you.”
She stares at me, then licks her lips.
“You were my first love. I didn’t leave because I didn’t want you. I was twenty-two and thought the grass was greener on the other side. I had a desire to see what else the world had to offer, but don’t think it was ever easy for me to be without you. My heart was breaking while I simultaneously broke yours.”
Tears well in her eyes, but she holds it back. “Then why didn’t you come back? You just cut off all communication with no warning. I was devastated.”
“I knew it’d only be harder if we kept in touch. I felt like if I visited, I’d never leave, and I’d be here forever.”
“And would that have been so bad?”
“At the time, yes. I didn’t want to feel trapped. I was scared to death of ending up like my mother or worse, my father. I was convinced the only way to break the mold was to leave Lawton Ridge and stay away.”
“I wish you would’ve given me the chance to show you how wrong you were. You would’ve never ended up like them.” She shakes her head when tears stream down her cheeks.
Closing the gap between us, I brush the pads of my thumbs under her eyes.
“Don’t cry, Gem. We can’t rewrite the past.”