I don’t want to be hung up on someone who can’t reciprocate my feelings, and I’ve struggled with the battle daily since he returned. Avoiding Tyler is impossible, and it’ll only get worse as we keep tap-dancing around each other.
No matter how hard I’ve tried to forget, our history and past can’t be erased. I don’t think I ever got over him or let go of the hope that we’d end up together again.
As I finish spraying my hair, I think back to my junior year in high school when I finally found the courage to admit my feelings. I wrote the letter and was nervous for two weeks while I waited for his response.
* * *
Dear Gemma,
After reading your letter, I’ll admit it took me a few days to decide how to respond. When I read that you were developing “more than friendship” feelings for me, I was partially caught off guard but also happy as hell. I have to be careful about what and how I say this because you’re still under eighteen. But since you’re probably wearing out your bedroom carpet from pacing, I’ll give you some comfort in letting you know that it’s not one-sided.
I’m not quite sure how to explain it, but I look forward to every letter you send me and always get nervous writing you one back. I didn’t date in high school, and I’m worried I won’t be good at it. My home life and childhood were messed up, which was a part of the reason I had to get out of town, but you’ve heard all about that already.
I’ve been gone for three years, and the only thing I look forward to when I return is seeing you again. I’m scared I’ll break your heart, but you make me want to at least try. I can’t promise anything, Gemma, so please don’t get your hopes up.
But for what it’s worth, you’re the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I go to bed.
Love, Tyler
* * *
That letter had me happy crying for days.
Everleigh knew I had a crush on Tyler, but I didn’t tell her the feelings were mutual until a couple of months before he returned. She wasn’t surprised, considering the way I’d talked about him, and having her blessing lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
After getting stuck in a little traffic, Robert and I arrive at the float with smiles on our faces. The parade route isn’t too long, and we’ll do a big loop around downtown. I told Robert to buy ridiculous amounts of candy for the kids because it was my favorite part when I was younger. As I look around, it seems like the whole town has already started setting up lawn chairs on Main Street to watch.
Robert’s dressed in his usual suit and tie, and he slicked back his hair with gel to match my 1950s attire. On the outside, we look like the perfect happy couple, but I’m screaming on the inside. My chest is tight, and I feel like the breath has been knocked out of me.
“Darlin’, are you alright?” Robert asks as I try to suck in air.
I inhale and force out a smile. “Yeah, just nerves.”
He rubs a soothing hand down my back and brushes a few strands of hair off my face. “Don’t be nervous, honey.”
Robert helps me onto the float before coming to stand next to me. One of his employees is driving the truck, and soon, we’re moving into position.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I think I ate something weird, but I’m sure it’s nothing,” I tell him with a smile. Nausea rolls through me, and I question whether I’m getting sick, or if it’s something else.
We make it down the first block, handing out full-size candy bars and dollar bills. Robert makes sure his float stands out not just by the way it’s decorated but also by the extravagant things we pass out.
I start to feel better and wave to the crowd of people cheering loudly and kids squealing over their candy. Soon, we’re in front of Everleigh’s boutique, and the parade stops so the high school cheerleaders can perform a routine.
“Gemma!” Everleigh and Katie scream my name as Owen waves at us. I wave back, then notice Tyler.
Robert wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him. He’s playing the doting husband role with expertise, and I wonder if this is what it’ll be like once we’re actually married.
“Aunt Gemma!” Owen calls out.
“Come get some candy,” Robert tells him, holding out three full-size Hershey bars.
He runs up, and Robert kneels so he can hand them over. “Thanks, Robert.”
“Wait, I got something else for you.” He reaches for his wallet, then pulls out a twenty-dollar bill. I release a tight sigh, knowing how this will look to Tyler. Of course, Katie will tell Owen to return the cash, but Robert will refuse it.