But not Chastity’s.
When I told her, she didn’t say much. Just smiled and wished me luck before wandering out of the room. It was those moments of clarity that told me I was delusional and a fucking douchebag for ever suspecting there was a mutual attraction between us. Chastity wasn’t interested in me.
So in order for me to make everything right in the universe again and get back to being a grown-up and not a love-struck creeper, I was going to take a beautiful woman out to dinner and see what happened.
Which was hopefully a lot of physical fun.
When I picked Jenny up for our date, she answered the door looking beautiful in a silky red dress, heels, and her hair pulled up into a messy blonde bun. She smiled brightly and it was a pretty smile. I’d always thought she was attractive, but tonight was the first time I noticed just how attractive she was.
“You look great,” she said, taking in my black slacks and fitted black shirt.
“And you look beautiful.” I gave her a chaste kiss on her smooth cheek and caught a breath of her subtle perfume. Her eyes glittered up at me and I caught the glint of appreciation there.
I took her to a restaurant in Humphrey. An upscale restaurant called Les Fleur.
It was a nice place. The type of place where waiters smoothed down the table linen between courses, and the head waiter ruled over the room expecting nothing but impeccable standards from his wait staff.
For a weeknight it was busy and the gentle murmur of dinner conversation mingled with the sounds of silverware against china plates as the waiter led us to our table.
I hadn’t been on an actual date in years. I had worried it would be awkward. That our conversation would be stilted, followed by long pauses of silence as we struggled to find things to talk about. But it wasn’t awkward and we talked easily, about everything. In fact, it was so easy, appetizers came and went, followed by main entrees and dessert, and before I realized it was late and the dinner crowd was thinning.
“Well, that was amazing,” she said with a big smile. Her eyes sparkled. “Shall we go back to my place?”
I knew where this was going. And it was exactly what I was after.
Sex.
With something other than my hand.
With a beautiful woman who was clearly into me.
With someone who wasn’t the niece of my best friend.
I walked her to her door and we lingered beneath her porch light. She made the first move. Leaning up, she pressed her lips to mine and I responded by holding her to me as I kissed her back. I want this. I kissed her harder and she melted into me with a whimper. I want this. I was exactly where I wanted to be. I wanted to kiss her until I couldn’t think of anything else. I wanted to take her inside and spend the next few hours in her bed. I really do. Except… who was I kidding?
My head and heart were saying two different things.
In fact, one was lying.
The kiss died and she pulled back to look at me.
“I’m sorry, did I misread the signs?”
“No, not at all.”
A small smile curled on her lips and heat filled her expression. “Want to come inside for a nightcap?”
I should want to.
But unfortunately, I didn’t.
Christ, what was wrong with me?
“I should get going,” I said, to both of our surprise.
She looked up at me, her wide blue eyes searching my face. “I thought we hit it off really well. Did I miss something?
I felt like a tool.
“I’m sorry.” I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. “I had a really good time tonight. You’re a beautiful woman, but tonight made me realize I’m not really ready for this.”
“Are you giving me the it’s not you, it’s me line?” she asked good-naturedly.
I smiled at her. “No, definitely not.”
She slid an elegant hand across my zipper. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
But I gently pulled it away. “As much as I would love to take you up on that offer, I’m not going to. You deserve better than me going in there and taking that from you when I’m not sure about it.” I smiled at her. “So I’m going to walk away. And I’m going to go home and take a cold shower.”
That wasn’t true. I wasn’t even remotely aroused. But I didn’t want her knowing that. And she seemed to appreciate the white lie. She smiled and stepped back.
“You know, if ever you do decide you’re ready for something more than dinner, call me?”
I gave her a smile. Jenny was a classy lady and I hoped she found someone who deserved all the good she had to give.
“You can count on it.”