It was not the first time her tongue had slipped its leash in this impossible man’s presence, but this time she had truly gone too far. She was a beast to have spoken to him so and rebuked him, too, merely because he was worried about Jamie being hurt. Whatever she thought of the Duke of Lochmore, she did not doubt he loved his son deeply, or that Jamie utterly adored him.
Perhaps she was jealous. Of both of them.
She was a worm. And a sanctimonious one at that.
She stopped as she saw Angus exit a room to her right.
‘Angus, where is His Grace?’
‘Here in the estate room, Mrs Langdale. He and Mr McCreary are battling the dragons of debits and credits.’
‘Oh, dear. Do you think it would be a bad idea if I asked for a moment of his time?’
‘I think he would be happy for any excuse to escape, Mrs Langdale.’
She rather doubted that, but she nodded and when he opened the door and announced her, she stepped in with her chin up and her heart somewhere below her knees.
‘Your Grace, may I have a moment of your time?’
He glanced up from a ledger and stood, his face glacial, and her heart sank to ankle level. But at a glance from him his bespectacled steward left the room and she rushed into speech before the door even closed.
‘I wish to apologise for what I said last night. I had no right and I know you only spoke out of concern for Jamie. But I do not think I can be indifferent so perhaps it is best I leave now. I shan’t be returning to Uxmore so we needn’t even tell Lady Theale. By the time she discovers I am not here you will no doubt have wed, thus obviating the need for her to plot against you again.’
He appeared to gather himself as he followed her tumbled speech. ‘What do you mean you shan’t be returning to Uxmore?’
‘Just that. I have been saving my annuity and all my settlement and I think I have enough to lease some place small in town and not worry for at least a year or so and by then I shall no doubt find employment so I do not eat into my settlement. I will try seeking employment at one of the schools for young women. I have all the skills. It cannot be too hard.’
He came towards her.
‘Sit down.’
She glanced around and sat on the nearest chair. It was hard and slightly warped and she wished she had chosen a more comfortable seat on which to receive her dismissal.
He pulled over a chair and sat as well, crossing his arms over his chest.
‘I have another suggestion. Rather, a choice. After our...discussion last night I considered your words and I wish to amend our arrangement. I will be very busy for the foreseeable future. Besides the usual estate business, we are holding a ball on Summer’s Solstice after which we will finalise an agreement with the McCrieffs. I presume once that occurs the wedding will take place promptly. And before you toss an accusation of vanity at me, I should say that this does not reflect in the least on my personal qualities, but on the Lochmore title and wealth and the unsettled nature of Scottish clan politics.’
‘I was not...’
‘You were thinking it and you said as much to me during the trip here.’
‘I did not...’
‘Did, too, as Jamie might say. But that is hardly the point. The point is that you have a point—Jamie is isolated here. Hopefully once I am married there will be siblings and eventually he can attend a school nearby. But while this is all in the making, he needs, as Lady Theale stated in her usual bludgeoning way, a companion. If there is one thing you have proven this week, Mrs Langdale, it is that you can appeal to children. Therefore I would be grateful if you would stay until the betrothal. I will of course compensate you. I doubt Lady Theale has been as generous with the Uxmore funds as she has been with your time, but should you remain here you will accept my terms.’
‘I could not...’
‘My terms, Mrs Langdale. Or not at all.’
Her relief held her silent and worried her. She should finally be brave and strike out on her own, not fall into another position of cushy servitude, no matter how appealing her charge.
‘Well, Mrs Langdale?’ he prompted. ‘This is your cue to say “I will”, or, more consistently with your latest responses, “I will not...”’