‘But Damien—’ she sniffed, rubbing her nose with her hand ‘—in a way you were right.’
‘No,’ he said, interrupting her. ‘You don’t have to do this now.’
‘Please, I have to. I was crazy with wanting a baby; that much was right. I’d asked about IVF but they wouldn’t take me on because I wasn’t married. I’d even thought about picking someone up, a one-night stand.’
He stiffened, not sure he wanted to hear this.
She looked up at him, her eyes earnest. ‘I thought about it but I couldn’t do it. I’d all but given up hope of having a baby by the time the masquerade ball happened and it didn’t even occur to me that night. Because of you. You made me feel so good, you felt so wonderful, that nothing else mattered. It was only afterwards that I realised what we’d done. I panicked.’
‘You really thought I would have sacked you?’
‘I didn’t know and I was too scared to find out. But as soon as I discovered I was pregnant, I knew you had to be told. I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. I’m sorry now I even waited that long. It made it harder for you to believe me.’
He sighed and squeezed her tight against him. ‘I made it hard to believe you. I didn’t want to be close to anyone. But I couldn’t stop wanting you. Not believing you became my way of pushing you away. If I couldn’t trust you, I couldn’t feel anything for you.
‘But I was mad,’ he said, cocking his ear to the wail of an approaching siren. ‘Mad to think I could shut you out. It was only when I thought I’d lost you that I realised just how much you meant to me.’
She looked up at him, her expression hopeful. ‘I do?’
He raised her in his lap and brushed his lips against hers. ‘Oh, you do.’ His lips moved over hers and he felt the tremor that passed through her and the depth it added to her kiss. ‘Did I tell you lately,’ he said, raising his lips just a fraction, ‘that I love you?’
This time she pulled her mouth away completely, her tired eyes blinking, bright and beautiful. ‘You’ve never told me that.’
‘Then it’s time I did. I love you, Philly. It took almost losing you to realise that, but I do. I love you and I’m proud, even honoured, that you are now part of my family and you will be part of my family for ever, if you still want me after all I’ve done to you.’
Her eyes shone up at him, her teeth gripping her bottom lip. Tears welled in her bright eyes, as if she was afraid to believe what he was saying.
‘Oh, Damien,’ she managed to say when the bubble of happiness had cleared from her throat enough to speak. ‘I love you so much. I can’t imagine being anywhere else. You saved my life.’
‘Fair payback,’ he said. ‘You’ve given me back mine.’
She opened her mouth as if to argue the point and he shushed her with a finger to her lips as the sirens screamed closer.
‘Don’t argue with me; any minute now we’re going to be surrounded by emergency services and I have much more important things right now to be doing with my time.’ And she smiled under his finger, her eyes sparkling as he slanted his mouth over hers, his lips warm and gentle, his breath and his final words moving her soul.
‘Much more important…’
EPILOGUE
WHAT a day! Damien turned off the highway, loosening his tie as the hot air blew through the open top. He could have kept on the roof and the air conditioner—the temperature sure warranted it—but now that he was out of the city he wanted to feel the air around him, he wanted to smell the scents of the baking, crisp countryside, he wanted to feel a part of it.
It was a great day—two o’clock in the afternoon and he’d decided that being home was more important than being in the office.
He’d been making a habit of that lately, Enid had been quick to point out. Not that she minded; she’d scolded him half-heartedly as she’d set about rejigging his timetable. He’d spent much of the last two years taking the time to feel things and the novelty was yet to wear off. He’d never have believed he could have found satisfaction in a life outside the office, but then it was only just over two years ago that he’d met Philly and she’d changed everything.
He looked at the clock on the dashboard as he pulled into the driveway. Great, it was still early enough to see little Anna before she went down for her afternoon nap.
He found the women sitting out on the veranda, shaded from the sun and where the breeze cooled naturally as it filtered through the hanging wisteria covering the pergola alongside. A small paddling pool sat between them, a dark-haired toddler sitting within an inflatable safety seat inside, splashing at the shallow water with obvious delight.