He wasn’t wrong.
This was my business, first and foremost.
I did it because I was good at it.
And because it made me a shitton of money.
I did things here and there when they crossed my path for the greater good, but no one would call me some white knight sweeping in to save the world.
“Think maybe your time with Aven has softened that cold heart of yours, man,” Lincoln added, smirking.
Lincoln, a lover of women, an unapologetic serial dater, looked a lot harder than he was. In reality, he was the kind of fuck to hold your purse while you tried on clothes. Without complaining. While the rest of us, thus far, have proven pretty committed to non-commitment with the opposite sex – Miller and Jules included – Lincoln had had half a dozen girlfriends in the two years since I took him on.
If I wanted just a fuck, I would have a fuck. I don’t want that. I want someone in my bed when I get home who gives a shit about my hard day. Someone who’ll make me pancakes on my birthday.
That was what he’d told Gunner when he’d been ribbing him about his latest breakup, none of his women ever able to put up with his lifestyle, his erratic schedule, the worry, for more than a few weeks or months. He took the breakups well, seemingly maybe liking the idea of a girl more than the actual girls themselves, jumping from one breakup into the next relationship without really doing any mourning.
There’s gonna be a woman someday, Lincoln, that is going to make you do a full-stop. And, what’s the best part, she isn’t going to fall at your feet like all these others. I can’t wait to watch you have to work for it, Miller had teased him when she rolled her eyes at him announcing a new girl just two weeks after the last one took all her shit back. And I would bet good money that she won’t even know how to cook pancakes.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, shaking my head.
Me, soft-hearted.
No one would ever claim that.
Least of all my team.
Lincoln said nothing but shot a raised-brow look my way before I turned to leave.
It wasn’t until later that night, Miller convincing Kai to go back to his own room, that my mind was quiet again.
And when it was quiet, it seemed, she found room to sneak in.
It was better this way.
Gunner was right.
I had no business going there with her.
I had never been the kind of man who wasn’t able to control himself before.
But I hadn’t been able to with her.
And as I loosened my tie, and dropped down in bed, a whiskey sitting on my knee, my phone seemed to taunt me from the nightstand.
Before I could think about it, and therefore talk myself out of it, my hand reached for it, scrolling through the contacts, going for Aven’s entry, both her burner and her personal cell listed. I had no idea what kind of time was left on the burner, so I hit her personal one instead.
You didn’t say goodbye. – Q
It seemed to take hours for the response, but it was maybe only a few minutes, but in that time I realized that while its was only around eight in Moscow, it was closing in on noon back in Navesink Bank.
– You were busy.
Not that busy. I came up to talk to you, and Gunner was stripping the bed.
– Hold on. Let me let that image sink in for a minute. How is Russia?
– Fucking cold. Vodka everywhere. It’s a nightmare.
Send some snow this way. I’ve been waiting. Wearing my pajamas inside out and everything.
Alone in a hotel room in Russia of all places, I felt a smile pulling at my lips, realizing it was another small piece of her I wouldn’t get otherwise.
My fingers hesitated over my keypad, not sure what to say, not sure what there even was to say.
Gunner shouldn’t have told you to get lost.
– While I completely believe he is capable of being that brash, he actually made some good points. And I knew that what you had going on was pressing.
Pressing, yeah, but we had some shit we needed to discuss.
– What? Just because we slept together? I’m a grown woman, Quin. And, contrary to what you might think of me, I’m not naive either. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into with you.
I never called you naive.
It actually bothered me that she thought I would think that of her, when in reality, all my thoughts that pertained to her were positive. She had been resilient and strong and determined. She hadn’t completely lost her shit in the middle of a situation that would make anyone feel like the world was spinning off its axis. Hell, even with a busted face, she found reason to laugh and smile. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for. And I had never thought anything less than that.