I consider stopping Nathan, but I don’t exactly want to be seen having an emotional discussion with four men as locals flow into Rusty’s for the night – I know very well what the island gossip mill is like – so I let him lead us to the private picnic table. Ash and Landon take a seat on the bench, but the rest of us stay standing.
I decide that my best bet is just to get this over with quickly. “All right. This is going to make things awkward between us, but I guess that won’t matter since I won’t be working with you much longer.”
Nathan’s jaw is tight. “We’ll see about that. Why do you want to quit?”
“I appreciate you hiring me, I really do. You’ve enabled me to help my family, and I’m very grateful. But I can’t be around you anymore.”
Nathan and Landon frown. The other two men have open expressions, waiting for me to continue.
“I know we were just messing around and having fun together. I know it wasn’t meant to be anything more, and I know it didn’t mean anything more to you. I understand that the four of you don’t want any kind of commitments, and I understand that I’m just one of many women.”
Their frowns deepen, and maybe I am feeling the alcohol more than I think, because I keep rambling.
“I know I’m just another conquest. Another notch on your bedpost, and another set of panties in your drawer.”
Nathan’s brows raise. “What did you say?”
“Your collection of women’s underwear. I saw it today. I didn’t mean to snoop. I was looking for the paperwork you needed and I saw them.”
“My collection?” His emphasis is on the last word. The other men are looking at him, not necessarily surprised.
“Yeah, all of the panties in your drawer. Souvenirs from your many conquests, it seems. Do the rest of you know about them?” I look around to the others, but they stay quiet.
“How many do you think you saw?” Nathan asks, one corner of his mouth turning up ever so slightly.
“A bunch. I saw mine, and I saw others. I didn’t take time to do an inventory.”
He’s full-on grinning now, though his eyes are still serious. “I have exactly two pairs of underwear in my drawer, and both are yours, Lacy.”
I want to call bullshit on him, but as my mind quickly replays memories of that desk drawer, I can’t distinctly remember seeing more than two different fabrics. I assumed there were more, and I didn’t recognize the second pair. “Mine?”
“Yours. Red lace from our night here, and a cream-colored pair I slipped off of you that evening at the Williams site.”
My mind quickly digs back in my memories. I didn’t have my underwear when I got home that evening. I assumed they’d been left behind in the gazebo, and I didn’t recognize them in Nathan’s drawer because they were just a plain fabric.
“Mine?” Part of my brain is trying to process the implication that he only has my underwear in his drawer. Does it mean anything? The other part of my brain stalls for time with an obvious question. “Why do you have underwear in your drawer?!”
Nathan shrugs, tilting his head to the side. “Work can be stressful. Sometimes I like to be reminded of some of the best experiences I’ve ever had.” His face is open and honest, but as if realizing he’s said too much, he adds with a smirk, “I have a few other kinks you’d like much better.”
Landon reaches out and touches my forearm. “Lacy, you still haven’t explained why you want to quit.”
“I’m quitting because I’m catching feelings for all of you, and being around you is torture. You like to play around with a lot of women, and I can’t be around to watch it.”
Landon stands and slips his hand into mine. “We did like to play around with a lot of women.”
Derek comes closer on my other side, sliding a hand around my waist. “Now we only want to play with you.”
Stepping back, I shrug them both off. “That’s the thing. I don’t want to just play around. We had our fun, and it was amazing, but you know I want more. I want more than any of you are willing to give.”
Nathan advances, taking hold of my hand as if he’s afraid I’ll run off. “You’ve been making a lot of assumptions.”
“A lot of incorrect assumptions,” Ash adds. He’s standing now, too, and I’m once again surrounded by all of them.
With a gentle hand, Derek turns my chin in his direction. “We know that when you find something good, you need to hold on to it.”
“We haven’t been with any other women since you came to work with us, and we have no desire to,” Landon says.
Nathan squeezes my hand. “We talked with each other about making a commitment to you. But it didn’t seem like you wanted that from us.”